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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

irrational fear of giving birth to fourth baby- help!

9 replies

mamachelle · 30/05/2013 14:11

hi all, sorry if i dont do this right- newbie :)

so im 33 weeks pregnant with baby no 4 and petrified of giving birth again.

i cant rationalise it. my previous deliveries have been good, babies 2 and 3 were born without pain relief and were amazing, simple births with no complications and good post natal recovery times. The youngest was actually born 5 hrs from the onset of labour and we were allowed home 2 hrs later, it was a brilliant experience.

yet now, the minute my new baby daydreams roam to the birth part i get a shiver down my spine and feel sick! i tell my husband (who is v supportive) and he makes me feel temporarily better, until the next time!

has anyone else experienced this?

i bought a natal hypnotherapy cd which i will start to listen to next week when the girls go back to school. will hopefully relax me if nothing else!

thanks for readin. :) any advice gratefully received x x

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Thinkingof4 · 30/05/2013 14:38

Marking place as I'm also pg with no4 and a bit apprehensive about the delivery, despite having had pretty straightforward deliveries so far (2 induced, one spontaneous)
I also have the natal hypnotherapy cd but struggling to get time to listen to it! I finish work this week so that will hopefully free up time to do this, as I seem to remember feeling quite nervous about no3 and the cd did help.
I'm 35 weeks btw so don't have that long to get my head sorted!!

5madthings · 30/05/2013 14:46

i felt like this each time, if anything i got more nervous with each one yet my labours were fine. no 4 was my best labour actually, very quick, under an hour ans born in birthing pool. possibly a bit quick!

i think you know more about what can go wrong and you know what is coming etc?

i dont know but i felt like this everytime and as i had had good births i thought i must have used up my 'luck' and therefore would have a bad birth. but actualy once you have had a good labour/birth you are MORE likely to next time. your body knows what itis doing, you know what you are doing and how to cope etc.

good luck, four is fab; so fab i gad another!

Spellcheck · 30/05/2013 14:53

I had no4 in February and felt exactly the same! Although I didn't 'give birth' as such, as I had previous emergency CS with nos 1 and 3 I had to have an elective CS. As I'd done it before and this time would have the advantage of no labour pain, I thought it would be easy at first, but became more apprehensive as time went by.

I ruined it for myself by Googling potential disasters, completely winding myself up, ending up pathetically nervous when we walked into theatre, and spoiling the whole experience for me and DP. Such a shame. Don't do what I did!! It will be fine, you have the advantage of experience. Savour every moment!

DebsMorgan · 30/05/2013 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mamachelle · 30/05/2013 16:31

thanks 4 the replies, i feel much better now :)

thinkingof4 - enjoy your maternity leave! i went 6 weeks ago, (couldnt manage the trips up and down to my office any more.) i dont think this has helped much, im not used to the silence of my own company (not even going to the loo is peaceful) too much thinking time!

glad the cd worked for you and hope everything goes well for you :)

5madthings- under an hour! wow! my husband works an hour away from home so id have to do some serious leg crossing lol.

yea, i totally agree with the being more aware of problems etc all naivety wears off after the first two!

spellcheck- thankyou. i definitely dont want to ruin the birth experience! hubby and i are going to try (all things being equal) for hubby to catch the baby with midwife help as he or she arrives. this is maybe the last so we want it to be memorable

debsmorgan- good 4 you for opting for a homebirth! sorry it didn go to plan. id love a homebirth, a blood condition prevents it though.

thanks again

OP posts:

stickortwist · 30/05/2013 16:59

Omg i could have written this. All previous 3 very straight forward. I think thr more you have the more clearly you can remember things like how much pushing really hurts... Even in a straight forward birth. And afterpains too.omg.
In fact even though the last 2 were homebirths im now thinking i was epidural/ general anaesthetic as it really really hurts! Sorry probably not wsnt you want to hear

honey86 · 30/05/2013 21:14

i hear ya! my 3 previous births were all long, induced, painful traumatic, with instrumental deliveries, cuts tears and postnatal depression. ill try not to let that get me paranoid though and take it a step at a time xx

mooglet · 03/06/2013 19:52

Hello. Can I join in? And also ask which natal hypnotherapy CD you have used? I am 22 weeks with DC4, and am also feeling wierdly nervous this time. I've been really lucky so far and had 3 very straightforward and speedy homebirths, but DH has got nervous about homebirths all of a sudden (he is an anaesthetist and has seen a run of really complicated deliveries recently), so I think it's hospital for me this time, as I want him to feel comfortable too. Maybe that's what's freaking me out a bit.....

saintlyjimjams · 03/06/2013 19:56

Yes - with my third. I was terrified. Was convinced I was going to die (ds1 had been a straightforward emergency section for non progression, ds2 a n elective). I ended up having a trial of VBA2C which helped calm me. It did go to section but the anaesthetist knew I was terrified & stayed long past his shift finished to do the op.

I think it was actually the best birth in the end.

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