Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

When men just don't get it!

15 replies

effyzm · 29/05/2013 22:41

So me and DH were chatting about boobs earlier lol and he said that he felt then leaking during the night. Anyway he said 'don't bother buying breast pads just stuff tissue down your bra' needless to say I just laughed. What has you DH/DP said/ suggested that has just made you think 'if only you knew'

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Badgerwife · 29/05/2013 22:59

Anytime that DH tries to find an adequate comparison to labour pains from his experience, like getting kicked in the balls or whatever. I just look at him like this:
I also did laugh in his face (a bit sourly) when he said how shattered he felt after I'd given birth...

fibrecruncher · 30/05/2013 01:29

Oh gosh I've lost count of the times he just hasn;t gotten it :) I ended up getting him a book - pregnancy for men. It seemed to help.

My DP thinks (thoughts I put paid to that) that it would be a good idea to have his parents stay with us, right after the birth of our DS. We have a 1 bed flat - they'd have to sleep in the living room. He also had no idea what a breast pump was - when I asked a friend if she had one - he said 'she's not a cow'... no dear she isn't.

PistachioTruffle · 30/05/2013 07:33

DH was actually gobsmacked when he learned that newborn babies can go through 10-12 nappies a day. He didn't believe me, so turned to google, which of course confirmed I was right He then started looking at the packs of 48 nappies in sainsburys and repeating in disbelief 'So that huge packet......only lasts FOUR days?!'

Only 11+4, so I'm sure there are more corkers yet to come!

wispa31 · 30/05/2013 08:51

lol i remember after first scan we were sitting chatting about baby and he asked if baby would sleep through the night from the start, saying how great it would be if he/she slept 9-9!! cue my snort of laughter and delight in bursting his bubble lol. when i said to my folks and his they all fell about laughing.

froubylou · 30/05/2013 09:35

Some epic fails of getting it from my DP too lol.

We have been engaged for about 4 years never having the urge to do anything other than vaguely discuss where we'd have it and what sort of honeymoon we'd have and whether we'd take DD (aged 8) along or whether she'd stay with grandma for a few days. He now wants to get married in June 14. And a week away for just us.

I'm due 24/12 and intend to BF for as long as possible. He was a bit surprised when I laughed in his face and said there was no way I was waddling down the aisle with leaky boobs and my pg weight still hanging in and no way would I leave a 6 month old baby with anyone for a week.

Whilst tidying the bathroom the other day I threw a large box of tampons away which was mainly full. Asked me why and pointed out I could use them after the baby comes. FFS. Was a bit horrified when I discussed maternity pads with him along with throwaway knickers etc.

He's obsessed with budgeting for everthing in advance. Fair enough I suppose. But asked me if about £700 would be enough to get the things I'd need for when baby was born. He included clothes, travel system, cot, bedding, essentials etc etc etc in that figure. I snapped I must admit. I pointed out that my SIL's pram alone cost £800 and did he want the baby sleeping in a drawer and strapped to my back in a shawl for transport?

He's not tight and we don't go without. DD has 2 ponies in full livery (expensive), shes done all the dancing/swimming etc and never once has he quibbled about cost. We go to ponyshows every weekend more or less and have lovely foreign hols 2/3 times a years so I think he was just massivley underbudgeting and as the OP says 'just doesn't get it' lol.

LabradorMama · 30/05/2013 10:30

I showed my DP a 'Cocoonababy' mattress the other day and he told me not to be silly, we don't want to make the baby 'soft', we want to 'toughen it up'. When I asked what he had in mind he suggested it could sleep on the bare wooden bottom of the cot. He didn't realise they have mattresses as standard.

He has also mentioned packing me off to a spa for a couple of days when we get home from the maternity unit

MisselthwaiteManor · 30/05/2013 11:24

He didn't realise the horror that goes on down there during/after labour. When the midwife was here talking about perenial stretches and stitches and bleeding after birth etc he was sat there he thought it just popped out and we'd be having sex by the afternoon.

I must admit I don't 'get' spending £1000s on baby stuff, £800 on a pram seems obscene.

Original poster

effyzm · 30/05/2013 15:58

Lol my DH took some convincing on the whole nappy thing too. I think they just think small person- not much can come out of it. Lucky you- I got given £500 to get everything. No £800 pushchair for me!

OP posts:

froubylou · 30/05/2013 16:30

I won't be having an £800 pushchair either. Even if I had enough money to do it I'm looking at a travel system around the £250 mark. Plenty enough to spend IMO.

However SIL is a bit of a 'keeping up with the jones's' person and because her friend has one, she has to have one too.

I don't think £700 is a lot though when you are starting from scratch? When you knock off £250 for the pram, £100 for the cot, another £50-60 for the cot mattress, £100 for bedding for cot, bedding for pram & moses basket (been given moses basket already), steriliser and bottles, bouncy chair, hospital bag for me, nursing bra's etc etc etc?

However SIL is due a girl and sister has a 4 month old baby boy so am hoping neither wants another baby and will pass on clothes! Am definatley not too proud to have hand me downs for a newborn. Obviously you do want some things you have chosen yourself but they get so little wear out of them I will be glad to have a complete wardrobe handed across.

MisselthwaiteManor · 30/05/2013 16:40

I've probably spent about £500 on everything including maternity stuff, and the pram/cot/carrier and all that stuff is brand new with good reviews, I did a lot of research. It doesn't need to be ridiculously expensive. I am incredibly tight though!

froubylou · 30/05/2013 16:46

Thats good going Hoppus!

Must admit I've looked on Amazon today at prams and seen some lovely looking ones for a couple of hundred quid, complete with changing bags, cosytoes, raincovers etc etc. just need to make a note of the models I like the look of and go and test them in the shops first lol.

I think the thing with me is I was a single parent when I had DD 8 years ago and was in denial so far along into my pregnancy that I didn't buy anything until 2 weeks before I was due. And only moved into a new house as opposed to a flat 3 weeks before. Then I didn't enjoy the shopping bit as it was so rushed. This baby has taken 3 years to make so want to really enjoy all the nesting bits.

Its not really about the money, its about the choices I have this time if that makes sense?

RJM17 · 30/05/2013 19:00

My DH thinks we don't have to buy anything until the baby comes or at the most a couple of weeks before.
I have had to explain about ordering my pram etc and it can take months to come.

But I have to admit that I am spending £800 on my travel system and I am quite happy to do that. But it's not about what other people have its because its the pram I want made by a very good and reputable company. But I think it is everyone's personal choice and everyone gets what suits them and what they want.

I just can't wait til my 20 weeks scan so that I can start shopping as we will be finding out what we having then x

Fairy130389 · 01/06/2013 11:50

DH was shocked and horrified when I pointed out that we wouldn't be able to have sex for at least 6 weeks after birth... he thought a 'couple of days' and we'd be 'back to it' ... he also couldn't understand why the nursery would need painting 'so early' (I broached the subject at 32weeks) as DS will be in with us for 6 months...

Oh AND he is currently doing a countdown... to his 4 weeks 'holiday' (paternity leave).

bless.

MrsSpagBol · 01/06/2013 12:55

Labrador you win - "he suggested it could sleep on the bare wooden bottom of the cot."

This is so I burst out .

IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat · 01/06/2013 13:34

Yes Fairy my boyfriend is also looking forward to his 4 week 'holiday' bless him. He is very interested in my growing stock of maternity and breast pads and why I will need them.

I am getting sick of trying to explain to him the size difference between Moses baskets/cribs/cots and how long a baby would be in each. It's like a foreign language to him.

A lady in our hypnobirthing class was talking to our teacher at the end about perineal massage and how to do it. On the way home he asked me how hard she thought nipple tweaking could be! turns out he had got confused from when the teacher mentioned nipple tweaking in relation to bringing on labour. I am so glad he didn't pipe up in class, so I could explain perineal massage to him in private.

Flip