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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Just realised DH won't be eligible for paternity leave

40 replies

ShadowStorm · 25/05/2013 17:31

DH is due to start a new job a few weeks before DC2 is due.

I've just realised that this means he won't be eligible for paternity leave. Dammit. No idea yet if some unpaid leave might be possible, I guess it'll depend on how generous his new employers feel about it.

Given that the alternative to DH's new job would be him having no job at all when the baby arrives, it's unreasonable for me to be feeling put out by this - but still

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NorthernLurker · 25/05/2013 17:35

Won't he be able to book a few days holiday? Look I know it's a daunting thought but paternity leave is a relatively new invention.
I had dd1 when I was 21 and dh had two days off I think. With dd2 he had a week - one day of which was spent with her giving birth. With dd3 he had a week as well.
You need a sling, a supply of videos or games for your older child and preferably some experienced friends or grannies to come and give you a break.

PotteringAlong · 25/05/2013 17:40

My DH wasn't eligible but he was given it anyway as his boss said everyone should have it so you might be ok!

1944girl · 25/05/2013 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BriansBrain · 25/05/2013 17:51

He will be entitled to some holiday leave, at 12 days or so for this year.

Good luck!

Original poster

ShadowStorm · 25/05/2013 18:32

Good point about the holiday leave. We'll have to check how much he's entitled to take (not sure when their holiday year starts and obviously hs leave will be pro-rataed if he's starting part-way through the holiday year).

Hopefully my mum will be willing to come round and lend a hand too
and not start vacuuming while I'm napping like she did when DS was newborn

OP posts:

NatashaBee · 25/05/2013 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smitten1981 · 27/05/2013 20:16

My DH and the other dads in our office, including the MD, have all taken their paternity leave as holiday anyway as its only statutory, so would be on next to no pay for 2 weeks. It's deemed not worth it where I work.

RobinSparkles · 27/05/2013 20:23

You'll be fine.

DH couldn't take any paternity leave when DD2 was born, it was fine! It would have been nice for him to have two weeks off but it wasn't the end of the world.

nannyl · 28/05/2013 08:16

You never know, his boss may allow him to have some time off anyway.

My OH runs his own company, and employs quite a few people, and he would allow someone to have some time off if they wanted it....

it keeps them happy
he wouldnt have missed those early days with his babies for anything, and wouldnt want one of his employess to miss out on theres either.

It completely depends who you work for, but just because he isnt legallly entitled to it, doesnt mean a decent boss wont try to "work a solution" for you all.

flipchart · 28/05/2013 08:21

He could have a combination of leave and unpaid leave.

DH iscaelf employed and business wasn't going well at the time DS 1 was born. He took. The morning off on my first day home ( no local family)
I was scared stiff but DS is now nearly 17!

You will be fine. Enjoy your pregnancy.

SeriousStuff · 28/05/2013 12:46

Same thing has happened to us and I feel put out too! I was looking forward to spending some proper time together with the baby.

My DH hasn't told his new work yet and we're hoping that, at their discretion, they will give him something, even if unpaid, then he will supplement it with some holidays.

Wickedgirl · 28/05/2013 14:06

My DH is self employed so he isn't entitled to paternity leave either. We will just put extra money aside now while we are both working

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/05/2013 14:09

This happened to DH with both of ours! Each time he was given a week fully paid, and then took a week of holiday.

ilovepowerhoop · 28/05/2013 14:14

ds used annual leave rather than take paternity leave/pay as the paternity pay wouldnt have covered the mortgage.

ChunkyPickle · 28/05/2013 14:23

For my first, DP didn't take any leave at all (barring the 3 days of actually encouraging the baby to arrive) - but we were lucky because we lived 5 minutes walk from where he worked, so he could leave at 10 to 9, was home at lunch and in the evening, (and could have been home if I needed help with something) - so TBH it was fine - better than him hanging around being bored really.

This time around he'll take some holiday as as others have said, Paternity is at statutory levels and it's just silly to take the pay cut when the holiday is there and it's not like we'll be taking any holiday with a newborn and a toddler anyhow (because we are cowards)

BraveLilBear · 28/05/2013 16:40

It's a disappointing blow, especially if you'd been looking forward to it! My DP was in a job and would have been eligible for paternity leave, but then took a new job two months ago and won't have been there long enough to qualify for paternity leave (which would have been paid, I understand).

But give him his due, he's offered to take it as holiday, so has been saving up his holiday leave. They've been really supportive, and have allowed him to say 'it'll be two weeks, sometime between this date and that date but don't know when'.

Fingers crossed they're accommodating of your needs!

looneytune · 28/05/2013 17:15

Similar situation, dh today found out he got a job he went for and he starts on Monday when I'll be 38 weeks with ds3. Braxton Hicks have been getting stronger and more frequent (every 10 mins last night) and hospital said I could be early but I told dh I'd rather he missed the birth this time (although would be gutted) than him miss out on a job. He's been out of work for a while and we're really struggling so it's just the way it has to be. I do feel for you but you'll manage and you never know, they may be nice and let him have holiday for it - I'm secretly hoping they might let my dh do that as I wouldn't be able to do the school run for my other 2 straight after (made the mistake of going on the school run 24 hours after my home birth with ds2 as I thought I felt normal but I collapsed in the cloakroom!). Anyway, well done on his job :)

FoofFighter · 28/05/2013 17:23

We can't afford for my OH to take proper paternity leave, he's having to take it as annual leave instead.

Such a shame to have this lovely carrot dangled but who in all honesty can afford to take it at what, £135 a week?

StealthPolarBear · 28/05/2013 17:29

Same principle as maternity leave though. You budget forit.

StealthPolarBear · 28/05/2013 17:33

Or am I missing the point? Paid leave never a bad thing inmy book!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/05/2013 19:26

Foof - lots of places offer it paid though, so it basically amounts to extra annual leave.

Stealth - I think the issue is that actually lots of people can't afford to do that. If you are living month to month and finances are about to take a hit with maternity leave anyway then taking paternity if it is only paid at statutory is beyond a lot of families.
IME (and I realise that this is only anecdote!) the families who take it are the well paid professionals who get a decent holiday allowance anyway.

FoofFighter · 28/05/2013 20:05

^^ that yes.

ForTheLoveOfSocks · 28/05/2013 20:12

Every DH/DP is entitled to paternity leave regardless of length of service. It's pay your not entitled too

ilovepowerhoop · 28/05/2013 20:16

thats not true according to the gov.uk website as it says:

Ordinary Paternity Leave
You must:

be an employee
have worked for your employer continuously for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth (known as the ?qualifying week?)
give the correct notice
The ?qualifying week? is different if you adopt.

StealthPolarBear · 28/05/2013 21:00

But maternity leaves not much more than 135 a week is it

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