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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Insensitive comments made to you in pregnancy

97 replies

Hai1988 · 21/05/2013 17:11

Oh my mother is so tactfull! She just calls as im sitting down with a tea and some biscuits after a long day and told her so, her response was "i know ur only a bit tubby now cus your pregnant but you better be carefull u don't wanna get to fat!" Cheers mum!!

Anyone else have very insensitve realatives or friends who come out with comments like this or is it just me :(

OP posts:

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Futterby · 21/05/2013 20:35

Tiger, that's terrible!

LoganMummy · 21/05/2013 20:37

Next door neighbour (don't really know her) today told me I looked "really fat". Yeah, that's cos I'm 38 weeks pregnant.

TigerSwallowTail · 21/05/2013 20:37

"Well that's your degree wasted then."

Yes because having children means you can never work again . I'd love to be able to say these comments were all said by the one person that I can just ignore, but they were all said by different people!

BeQuicksieorBeDead · 21/05/2013 20:44

My mum is very sensitive and kind, and is the one who gets to calm me down after people have said horrible things!

A few (and I am only thirteen weeks!)

This morning at work, two colleagues obviously pointing and laughing at me, then coming in to see me and announcing 'god you are so massive already, we were just laughing about it;. Yeah, no shit, I am pregnant not blind and deaf!
After ten weeks of morning sickness, same colleague saying 'well you better get used to feeling shit, this is just the start.' Yeah, thanks again.
Another workplace person saying that I was putting on more than pregnancy weight, as my face is now twice the width it was. It isn't.
Same comment as above about 'stop doing so much or you will have another miscarriage.' Well, hey, I never thought about that every five seconds for the last year. Thanks for that!

I can't wait until people start pawing my guts so I can slap them around the chops and blame it on the hormones!

Futterby · 21/05/2013 20:44

I've had that too tiger >

Futterby · 21/05/2013 20:46

I also had, when excitedly talking about my pregnancy, "well that sucks!"

LadySnapcase · 21/05/2013 21:03

I've been told I look both small and big for my dates, all during the same day...proving that people really don't know what the hell they're talking about

MisselthwaiteManor · 22/05/2013 06:21

I've stopped visiting my MIL because all she did was tell me I'm fat and poke at me. I have gained over 2 stone at 34 weeks but I wasn't as fat as her big to start with so I look fine. When she phones DH she asks how he is, then asks how much weight I've gained. Imagine behaving like that towards someone who wasn't pregnant, no one would get away with it!

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 22/05/2013 06:30

When I disclosed my first pregnancy to my boss, he said "Ah, congratulations! I didn't want to say, but I had noticed that your breasts had got bigger".

Okay then.

karatekimmi · 22/05/2013 06:32

I got asked if I knew who the father was - yes my DH but it made me chuckle! Said more about them than me!!

Not a nasty comment but when I had my last lesson with my year 8 class one lad asked why!?! I was the size of a house and 39 weeks pregnant!

Trazzletoes · 22/05/2013 06:34

When I was pregnant with DC2, a friend's 9 year old (so was kind of to be expected) came out with: oh you're pregnant? I didn't realise because you're fat.

Laughed it off, went home and cried. It's true though.

Steffanoid · 22/05/2013 06:38

a friend keeps telling me I've not put weight on really apart from my belly and now I look 'pointy' she's trying to be nice I think.....

and my mum keeps chuckling everytine she sees me because im 37 weeks and the baby is big, not just water, we had a growth scan, have also been called a frigate by mum which is a boat

isabellamum · 22/05/2013 07:28

We live in a 3 bed house. Have 2 DSS not with us full time and a dd. Keep getting asked will we move now? Apparently its not the done thing 4 kids 2 share rooms nowadays

When I told my neighbour:
Will u move ?
Was it planned ? Ffs I'm 37 we've been married 4 years
Will I be giving up work now ?

All asked in succession

The work one pisses me off most. Sory 4 not wanting to rely entirely on the state 4 income. Why does having more than 1 mean I suddenly loose the ability 2 earn a wage?

Oh yes and the usual comments about my size

And I'm too posh to push having elcs after complications with emcs last time

Sorry 4 rant. Op I totally sypathise

Franykins · 22/05/2013 09:36

I'm 12 weeks and although my DP and I can see a slight bump its not noticeably yet. However, when I was showing my mum she so kindly said "well what's that then" and poked the top of my belly "just fat" !!! WTF mum!!! I just said "no mum that's bloating as I'm suffering with a lot of trapped wind, I've only put 4lbs on". Her reply "Oh really" Charming. Ok so I'm not small, I'm a size 16, but I did lose over 2 stone before falling pg. And yes it was planned although happened a lot sooner that we expected after me coming off the pill after almost 16 years and falling after one month. Go us!!

LeeshaG · 22/05/2013 09:47

I'm 25 but look quite young for my age. I got married at 23, own my own house, have a good job and have a beautiful dd and also a ds on the way.
I have found my mw treated me different when she found out I was married. At my 13 week apt she asked miss, Mrs or ms. When I said Mrs she apologised as she presumed I was a single mum (because I look young!). Then at work (I was about 34 weeks when a new starter who was horrible came over, introduced himself and then said, guess you don't know who the father is. I'm sick of these single mums shagging about!! I could have walloped him but kindly corrected him. And old ladies in supermarkets when I have my little girl. They automatically look at my left hand before speaking to me. When they see I'm married they are lovely. A few I've walked past have tutted before. As as for remarks on my size I just get sarcastic back. I've had the whole wow you're huge. You're going to have a 16lb er. Sure it's not twins etc. But my one gripe that really irritates me is random strangers touching my bump. Bugger off!!! What gives you the right to touch me??! I don't mind when it's people I know but a stranger?? Hell no!!

PoppettyPing · 22/05/2013 09:58

I'm 24 weeks, and a couple weeks ago my friend asked to see my bump, and when I showed her she said "That's not a bump, that's a cunt gut!"

My personal fave are when people ask you about your birth plans. One client asked me what hospital I'll be birthing at. I made the mistake of saying "I'm planning to give birth at home" and the reply was "Oh dear. You're having a laugh, NO ONE has a good experience giving birth at home".... he was a man.

night1971 · 22/05/2013 10:03

An elderly aquaintance kept telling me about her horrific miscarriages in great detail (I am sympathetic but it freaked me out) and how she never got to hold any baby of her own. Very very sad but made it hard to relax and enjoy my pregnancy.

kiwigirl42 · 22/05/2013 10:07

I am 6 foot 2 - a stranger came up to me in town and informed me that my baby was going to be really embarassed being seen with me when he was older!

DS is 13 and is showing no signs of being embarassed by my height. He is embarassed by other things though - singing in the car and that Mum can remember the 1980's!

sparkle101 · 22/05/2013 10:13

I had to tell one of my colleagues at four weeks as I had the most horrendous morning sickness- his first words "you're a fool". Swiftly followed by "was it planned, is this what you wanted".

Dh and I have been together 15 years. So yeah, kinda planned thanks.

ccsays · 22/05/2013 10:19

Have been asked several times if it was planned? WTF, how is that an appropriate question?!

Also when I told my boss I wasn't telling people yet he said, "of course, because so many things can go wrong at this stage and then you'd have to tell people and you'd be devastated"

smoothieooo · 22/05/2013 10:22

Not so much an insensitive comment, but news of my second pregnancy was greeted with silence by my delightful (STB-ex) in-laws. Total silence.

It had a lot to do with the fact that we weren't actually married at the time!

WeeS · 22/05/2013 11:28

PoppettyPing - cunt gut! So funny

MrsMc82 · 22/05/2013 11:29

"Wow you're huuuuge" from several people at work. ... all assuming that am going on mat leave v soon. ... nope, and cheers!!! Am huge I suppose but only im allowed to say that - am only 23 weeks! Wait till im 8 months - then you'll see huge!

DS told me that I look like a whale this morning too but he's 3 so I'll forgive him! xxxx

MrsMc82 · 22/05/2013 11:31

Ooops didn't mean to put the xxxx in there how terribly netmums of me! ha!

kittencuddles · 22/05/2013 11:47

During a discussion at work colleagues were saying how I was 'all bump' and hadn't put on weight elsewhere. Was feeling very until someone said 'no, your bum is bigger and your face has got fat'.

I walked away and cried.

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