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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

24 weeks and still smoking! anyone else?

82 replies

mumtobe88 · 19/05/2013 21:22

I'm 24 weeks and 3 days and am still smoking. When I first discovered I was pregnant I tried to give up and managed to cut down to like 2 per day. Since then however, my husband and I got married and now we're looking for a place together and I'm back on a 20 a day habit.
Can't really use patches as I appear to be allergic to them and have braces so can't chew gum, has anyone got any ideas to help me quit?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Aoifebelle · 19/05/2013 23:13

Mumtobe you are taking some pretty big risks with the health of your child. I have been a sporadic smoker for years, but have up this Nye, as I was concentrating on getting healthy to conceive, I am now pregnant. I had a miscarriage last year, the pregnancy was unplanned, and I didn't find out until I was about six weeks. I had been merrily smoking and drinking, then I lost the baby at about ten weeks. Would it have been different if I had been looking after myself, I'll never know, but it's certainly a doubt I would rather not be living with.

I gave up with the help of electronic cigarettes. It wasn't easy but I couldn't imagine being knowingly pregnant and lighting up. From your post it didn't appear that you have tried that hard to give up. What worked for me was making that the most important thing in my life. For example, if I was feeling weak I wouldn't go out, I stayed sober all January, as fags and booze seem to be partners in crime, and I had said I would start trying to conceive until I was happy I had stopped. My partner also stopped- which I think made it so much easier for both of us.

You are soon to be a mother, you will have a small person totally dependent on you. You are totally responsible for their well being. You will have to make tough choices and sacrifices for your child for the rest of your life, you may as well start now.

themilkmonster · 20/05/2013 00:33

Is your partner ok with you smoking?

I know how hard it is to give up as I've been there. I've tried and failed many times in the past but getting pregnant was all the incentive I needed and I've been a non-smoker ever since.

Just stop smoking. You have to.

Good luck.

Trishstar · 20/05/2013 01:02

Agree with Bear!!!

It was probably my placenta that meant my DS wasn't happy and had to have an EMCS, and I am a non smoker, don't drink alcohol, eat crap etc!!

My little man ended up in special care for his first 16 days

Willingly doing this to your child is disgusting and it pissed me off that there were lots like you in hospital (who ended up having healthy babies), also there are plenty of people who desperately want and can't have children who would do their utmost to give their unborn child the best start were they fortunate enough to be pregnant!

Like another poster says "man up"! And get help!

ClocksInALine · 20/05/2013 01:16

CooEeeEldridge · 20/05/2013 01:21

Really wouldn't worry. Lots if people seem to be in same situation these days and all works out ok. Just do your best.

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 20/05/2013 02:02

Cold turkey. It's the only way. I was a 20 a day smoker and I quit the day I found out I was pregnant with surprise baby. If I can do it anyone can. Force yourself to read about what it's doing to your baby, don't allow yourself denial and use that to fuel your willpower.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 20/05/2013 08:17

Cooeeeldridge - that's awful advice! if you saw a mother forcing her newborn baby to smoke a cigarette would you tell her not to worry??

vix206 · 20/05/2013 08:33

You just need to stop. Immediately. If you can't stop for your child, well, I don't know what that says really.

Sorry to be harsh, I am an ex smoker by the way, but can't imagine ever smoking when pregnant.

Forgetfulmog · 20/05/2013 08:36

Bear & trishstar I completely agree with you. I was in a very similar situation - baby had IUGR & I had to have EMCS at 36 weeks after 2 failed inductions. Dd spent 10 days in NICU & it took me 3 months to bond with her because of all the initial trauma. I avoided all the foods I should during pg, didn't drink or smoke & still wasn't able to have a healthy pregnancy.

OP, your post has made me really angry. If you weren't ready to put another person first then you shouldn't have got pg in the first place. Stop trying to pass the buck. You have a responsibility to your baby & need to give up smoking now.

WentOnABearHunt · 20/05/2013 08:37

I dont really think telling op she is a twit etc is very productive. I am sure OP is aware of the very real risks to her baby by smoking.

Smoking is complex and extremely addictive - why do you think so many people continue to do so despite numerous, graphic warnings? Its often not as simple as to 'just stop'.

That aside, OP there is lots of support available if you DO wish to quit although it will take a considerable amount of hard work. Stopping at any point during pregnancy can have very positive effects for your baby. As others have mentioned, a smoking cessation service should be available for you to access. If you are serious, why not make that change today, give your midwife a ring (don't wait to the next appointment) she will be none judgmental and supportive, and if she is not then she's not doing her job. The help is their and you CAN do it :) releasing that you need to is the first step - well done, you've cut down before - great you know you can do it! So what are you waiting for, make that next step :) Good luck xx

Forgetfulmog · 20/05/2013 08:37

CooEee, wtaf?? "Just do your best" Jesus. I have no words

WentOnABearHunt · 20/05/2013 08:40

forgetfulmog - its a shame those things happened even though you did everything right - but you have no reason to be angry at OP - she didnt cause those problems for you. No one ever quit cos they were shouted, made to feel guilty at or told they were stupid - often this can have a negative effect. People need support, not 'telling off'.

Teaandflapjacks · 20/05/2013 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Forgetfulmog · 20/05/2013 08:56

Bearhunt, I'm afraid I can't offer support to people who are unable to put their unborn child first. If the OP was an abusive father-to-be who repeatedly beat up the mother-to-be, thus putting the unborn child at risk, would you be so willing to offer support? Smoking during pregnancy can cause so many problems, as previous posters have said. When you become pregnant, you cease to be responsible just for yourself.

Tbf though the OP has got plenty of support on this thread & I applaud those posters who are able to be supportive. I, however, am unable to be one of them.

rainbowfeet · 20/05/2013 09:07

I smoked 20 a day a for years before I got pregnant & had tried to give up many times, but the minute I saw that positive result I threw away whatever cigarettes I had left!!! It's not that hard really, just think about the baby in your tummy!!!

HeffalumpTheFlump · 20/05/2013 09:17

Bearhunt - obviously it's a complex addiction. I used it as my emotional support, my boredom reliever, my appetite suppressor, my confidence builder (it was something to have when I was nervous talking to people), and it had been my friend since my shitty childhood. I still gave up for my baby!!

The midwife/ smoking cessation people will do all the softly softly crap, as they are not allowed to scream in someone's face that what they are doing is disgusting. Luckily enough such rules don't apply on MN, so we can give the OP the kick up the arse she so obviously needs!! My DH has been so hard on me when I have struggled with staying smoke free and that is exactly right, otherwise I might have slipped up and harmed my baby!

Lj8893 · 20/05/2013 09:26

Just quit!!!! Many many many people do!!!! Heck even my partner (who was one of the biggest smokers i knew) has managed to cut right down since we found out I'm pregnant and he's not the one with the baby inside of him!!!

Some women arnt fortunate to ever get pregnant or have extreme difficulty trying. Speaking as someone who took 4 years to fall pregnant, I think you need to have a serious look at yourself and what you are doing to your unborn child. You have been lucky and fortunate to fall pregnant, why throw that all away?!

Midori1999 · 20/05/2013 09:38

I can't describe how walking in and out of NICU everyday to see my daughter on a ventilator, knowing she would probably die and seeing heavily pregnant women smoking made me feel. I also cannot describe how disgusting it is to walk through a cloud of smoke made by pregnant women to get to my antenatal appointments, which are at the hospital.

I firmly believe that if people want to stop smoking they can. My Mum was a smoker for almost 50 years. She repeatedly 'tried' to give up, saying she couldn't, it was too hard. Then she was diagnosed with emphasema and told she was going to die and she would die a lot faster if she didn't stop smoking and low and behold, she managed to stop. She now admits the reason she couldn't stop for all those years was that she never really wanted to or saw why she should. She is now horrified when she realises what smoking around her babies could have done to them, but it wasn't really known when she was pregnant.

If the health of your baby isn't enough to make you stop smoking, what is?!

honey86 · 20/05/2013 09:39

i quit at new year. i was on 20-30 a day. i wont lie, if i wasnt pregnant, id prob have caved in as even now i have the odd craving where i think 'cor a cuppa coffee n a fag in the garden would be so nice right now' but i think of my baby and slap some sense into myself (not literally obvs) and ive not had a single fag since before i got pregnant. you really have to be self disciplined and think ' i would like a fag, but i dont NEED it and my baby dont want it either'

im on day 138 now. i was practically puffing like a chimney 6 months ago. if i cn do it you can too x

Foxeym · 20/05/2013 09:48

I too smoked over 20 a day and the day I found out I was pregnant i stopped and haven't touched one since even though my other half has continued to smoke.
I really do not understand anyone who would do this to their unborn baby and feel very strongly about it, especially having done midwifery and we looked at different placentas, from smokers, drinkers etc and the smokers ones were smaller and had areas of grey dead patches where the oxygen etc just wasn't getting through, you are putting the life of your baby at risk!!!!

Bunnylion · 20/05/2013 10:02

Bearhunt I agree that just yelling at the OP isn't productive, but (as an ex heavy smoker) it really IS THAT EASY to just stop.

It's not a lot of fun and you might feel quite agitated for a couple of weeks but you really won't feel that bad if you stick to it.

Good luck OP.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 20/05/2013 10:08

Please stop. Pregnancy can be risky enough without smoking. You have no idea how vulnerable a small baby is. And every day they have to spend in hospital as a result of their size or gestation causing concern is a day they could catch a hospital based infection.

You could kill your baby. Please remember that.

Seek what help you can its free and its life changing!!!

MaryannM · 20/05/2013 10:11

I think that if you genuinely want to stop, you will find the will power to do so. I admit im not a smoker, never have been but my partner was on 20 day, has been smoking since he was 14, he's 32 now. Well when I found out I was pregnant, he decided to stop because of the baby and he did, he doesn't even smoke when he's at work, I'm 26wks now and he's still determined never to touch them again. It's not easy but it can be done. So, what I'm saying is, you can do it and you have the best motivation ever to do it now.

You say you tried the tablets from GP but they made you feel sick, if they are safe to take during pregnancy perhaps this is your best bet. I think feeling sick all the time is a lot less harm to your baby than smoking.

Good luck :-)

WentOnABearHunt · 20/05/2013 10:16

midwives don't do the 'softly softly' crap because they are not allowed to yell at women... (i am sure some midwives would love to yell at women though). They do it because they want people to engage with them so they can help them change. OP has recognized that she needs to change. OP asked for ideas to help her quit... not to be shouted at and told she could kill her baby....

toni1bump · 20/05/2013 10:27

Some peoples comments are rude. This lady has posted for advice on quitting and doesnt need lectures off people telling her how bad it/she is...

lots of people smoke during pregnancy and their baby is fine, but others not so lucky.. i was a 20 a day smoker also and wanted to quit for me. Before i even found out i was pregnant i bought an electric cig.. i quit real cigs instantly and still using it. All my health care provders (midwife, doctor, gynecologist) have told me it wont do any harm as nicotine doesnt hurt baby. But eventually go onto lower strength liquid. And saves u a lot of money. Different flavours aswell... Give it a go.. Good luck

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