I have 2 children already and have recently started to get rid of everything as we had thought we were done having children. Our youngest is 19 months and eldest is 5.
I have recently found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant and when i told my partner he appeared less than happy and said that although he did not want to tell me what to do about it but that i knew he did not want any more (he has a 17 years old with his ex wife)
I am really upset as he will not talk about it and it is like if we don't mention it it is not happening. I have said that i don't think i could go through with a termination as i have no medical reason to and already have 2 children, his only answer was, "OH!"
I feel completely breathless most of the time with fear and don't know what to do about it, I want to cry and scream but feel like i'm in a different world most of the time.
A few months before this happened we had a scare and i had been devastated as i thought he was going to be angry about it, but he surprised me and said "oh well, we'll manage" and was very caring, now it is really happening it's like he is pretending it isn't.
I asked him to have a vasectomy if he didn't want any more as i don't want to have to go back on the pill due to previous blood pressure issues and weight gain.
What am i meant to do? I feel totally lost and alone.
I know my mum will be angry (even though i am 36) as recently her neighbour asked if i was going to have any more and before i could answer my mum said "No, they can't afford another one!"
I work part time (evenings and weekends, we pay our rent and run two cars and I care for my other 2 with very little support from anyone.
I want to be happy about this but wonder if i would be better off not going through with it to keep the peace :(