Stupidly stressed about work...

[2Labradors]

...and it's really getting me down.

I'm only 11 weeks pregnant, due at beginning of December. I work in the NHS in an admin role and it seems like every week I'm given something new to do, something extra I'm expected to do within the same time frame.

I work as part of a small team, there's 8 of us. Everyone works 37 hours (bar 1 other lady) except me, I work mon-fri but work 30 hours. I get no less work. Just yesterday, a new task was split equally between 3 of us, well actually I was given a slightly more complex part as I grasp things quickly!

I had 3 days off recently due to bleeding and came back to my huge work load. There is no one to do my work if I'm not there. I was questioned yesterday why 2 recent phone calls weren't answered instantly (I'm not a receptionist) but its impossible for me to answer every call instantly as I'm always working on something, that's what my answer machine is for! If I can take a call, I take a call. 2 out of about 10-20 per day, in my part time hours.

I'm also the only member of the team with young children (aged 9 & 7). So, I have to use my holidays to take care of my children during the school holidays. If things are getting too much for the other members they can take a Friday or a Monday to have a long weekend, but I can't, I can't have any time off until August now as I need to take 2 weeks during this time. My parents are having my children during the next half term in June.

My manager is currently off sick, due to stress we think, and not everyone is aware I'm pregnant as we haven't had the 12 week scan.

I really feel like work is getting on top of me, it's becoming too much, and its the weekend and I'm waking up thinking about it. How do I possibly do all my work? I've been having to do more hours as its been impossible but I don't get paid for them, I'm hoping I could take them back at some point but we're not meant to do that as there's not enough of us.

I'm just so exhausted. I finish work and then make tea for kids (hubby has been helping a lot) and take them to clubs. They've not been to swimming lessons in 2 weeks as I've just been too tired.

I couldn't leave my job, we need the money, and I've got to go back after having the baby. I used to love my job. But I don't do much of 'my job' anymore, I do so much other crap too.

Sorry for having a moan, I just needed to off-load a bit. Going to try and enjoy my weekend and relax a bit, hopefully.

It seems your hormones more.. in starting you feel very tired and put off by work and lack of concentration.. but in later weeks you will be all right.. have patience .. then again after 30 weeks this situation will come .. but hope by that time you will be near maternity leave.. hold tight..

That sounds horrible. But remember that you're in the bad, exhausted stage of pregnancy, when you can't talk about it openly but you feel dreadful.

It won't be long till you can go public. That would be a good time to be really clear about your hours, to point out that you can't do more than your fair share, and to protect your time. It sounds like you get on well with most of the people at work - is there someone you can enlist to stick up for you? Your line manager? Or someone on your level who will be able to argue your case even when you feel too tired or embarrassed to?

Try not to compare yourself to your colleagues. You don't really know what stresses they're dealing with at home or on their days off.

Can you plan in some weekends or days of relaxation over the coming months, to make you feel less frazzled? E.g. a pregnancy massage, or a day out with your DP without the kids, or a movie night in where you all get pizza and someone else does all the cleaning up? It seems like a really long slog when you're at 11 wks but you can get through it.

Thank you for your replies.

It's so hard to stop and remind myself that my hormones are mad right now. Hopefully it will be easier in just under 2 weeks after the scan when everyone will know.

I just want to sit and cry when I think about going back tomorrow, and I never usually feel like that about work. No one likes a Monday morning but I do actually like my job usually.

On the plus side, one of the girls has a birthday and is bringing in cake.