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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Don't know what to say to her

26 replies

Jenie · 28/01/2004 09:22

I'll start by saying that my db and his gf are expecting a baby - gf is only 1month gone but has told everyone already..... well I know that my db didn't want children and feel that his gf has done this deliberatly as I know that she was on the pill at the time.

I'm realy cross about it as I feel that she's done this deliberatly and against my db's wishes as he has always said that he doesn't want children and she is adamant that she is going to keep the baby.

They do live together but their relationship isn't all that great infact it's terrible where by my db has been contemplating leaving for some time but as they own the house and are paying the mortgage he feels unable to do so, understandably db isn't forcing his gf to have an abortion or anything but is saying that it has to be her decision and that he'll do his best either way, she has seen this as lack of support and is cross with him saying that it's just another decision that she has to make.....

Her father is delighted but I don't think he understands that their relationship is in such a bad way due to her controlling nature - db can't even go out to see his friends anymore without her having a major strop so he has virtually stoppped just ot keep the peace.

She is using me and my dp as an example of if they can do it then so can we.

I know that she's going to phone me on Friday to give me the news but I don't think that I can even pretend to be happy for her, afterall she has gone against my db's wishes in falling pregnant in the 1st place and then I feel as though she's belittling me in that it obviously can't be that hard to raise a family if and can do it! I know that she's used those exact words as my sil told me wish she hadn't.

What would any of you do? Any help appreciated I know I've ranted and not made much sense but please help.

OP posts:
happy1 · 29/01/2004 14:36

Hi Jenie, it sounds like the gf has a self esteem problem. She sounds alot like my BIL gf who recently got pregnant. They have only been together a couple of months and they are now getting married in April. Unfortunately she lost the baby, but they are still getting married. She is totally controlling, not letting answer any questions or talk for himself about anything. My MIL and FIL don't like her, nor does my other BIL. When my BIL is out of the room however she gets upset and woories that he's cheating on her (he was engaged to someone else when he got together with her- this is why MIL and FIL don't like her) and she thinks shes ugly etc. We (me and dp) think this is why she feels the need to be in control of his life to hide how crap she feels. We also think she got pregnant on purpose because shes scared of him leaving her. Obviously we don't know any of this for sure its just what it looks like to us and the other BIL. but we can't say anything because it is his life and he could walk away if he wanted. My advice is just sit back, be civil to the girl and be there for your brother if he needs you. Keep your chin up!

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