The things people say

[Simian0]

Am 40 weeks+ 3 and have been getting floods of 'advice' from people as to how to get things started. It's made me reflect on all the things people have said over the past few months. I don't know about you guys but being pregnant seems to attract a number of comments/advice/opinion from people (known and random) about everything to do with your pregnancy. Thought it could be fun to try to capture some of the funnier ones here.

What types of things have people said to you during your pregnancy that have made you roll your eyes back in your head, or made you want to drop an anvil on them?

Things like....

1. "Make sure you get plenty of sleep to see you through when the baby comes" - like you can 'bank' sleep reserves. If you could wouldn't we all do this all of the time anyway? Sleep for 48hours non-stop then don't again for 6 months. Genius!

1. " it's best not finding out the sex as it's what keeps you going through labour" - like if I knew it were a boy or a girl I'd be tempted just to give up half way through and not push the whole thing out!

1. "Ooh, you're all out the front so it must be a girl"

1. "Ooh, you're all out the front so it must be a boy"

These have all amused me untold over the months.

Any to add?....

People who confuse morning sickness (which is vile) with hyperemesis (which can be a life threatening condition and mostly needs hospital treatment) are most annoying. I just say that I have had morning sickness in previous pregnancies and it is NOTHING like hyperemesis.

I've also had the "oh not sleeping now is just your body preparing for when the baby comes and you need to be up in the night". Really????! I thought it was more because there's something inside my stomach trying to beat it's way out, and kicking my bladder, but there you go...

'are you STILL pregnant' - Looks that way doesnt it! hahah

I've also had the "oh you're having a boy, never mind!" (There are lots of little boys in the family already)

I'm showing early in this pregnancy, the amount of people who have said it's twins is ridiculous! There's only one for sure!

This was after my ds was born and i was breastfeeding, my grandmother in law told me I shouldn't eat cauliflower because it will give me and the baby a bad tummy!

Receptionist at work every week if I dare say I had a bad night sleep/woke at 3/4/5/am ooh that's what time the baby will wake up. Every week for months now.

"You're quite small, how far along are you?"

Six months.

"Really? Are you sure?"

Am I sure?!

"Wow, you're huge! Are you sure it's just one?"

"How are you feeling, you look terrible?!"

Thanks.

Waiting by the photocopier at work...

Co-worker: "My sister was like you when she was pregnant."

Me: "oh yeah, how so?"

Co-worker: "she ballooned out on the back as well as the front too."

Me:

Also endless, "are you sure it's not twins? Oh, well have they measured the baby?"

No - I've not bothered with hospital and midwife appointments, just going to wait and see what and how many pop out.

Oh I forgot the best one I ever had. On announcing my pregnancy to work colleagues...

"Oh my God, are you happy about it?"

No, I'm not continuing with it but I just thought I'd share it with you all first.

soursweets lol

Ha ha soursweets! Some people must just think all pregnancies are unplanned and just think you've messed your life up! x

Oh yes the bump speculation. I had everything from 'Is it twins?' To 'Are you sure they have your dates right?' and my favourite Well it's not going to be a small baby, is it? Er she was 5lb 4oz!

Put sleep in the sleep bank is ridiculous. At 9 days old although the amount of sleep varies its better quality than waking with awful heartburn and being in agony with my bladder!

"Are you really keeping it?" no I just fancied telling you before I got rid. Why does age always have to = chances of keeping a baby. Im happier about this baby than my married, 31 yr old now pregnant relative.

beth I'm 27 and married and was overjoyed but a very good friends first words after I told her were 'oh, are you keeping it'. EXCUSE ME?!

The doom and gloom brigade:
Me:
Them: IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE.

FIL when finding out we were having a girl: Oh that's such a shame for [DH].
Me: and why is that?
FIL: Oh well he won't be able to do anything with a girl, they don't play.
Me:

FIL, when I had the audacity to have a chippy tea in the early months: You'll need to watch your figure, you don't want to disappoint your husband by becoming fat.
Me: grrrrrrrr

My DM: You'll have to have an epidural, they let you have your husband in the delivery suite if you have an epidural you see.

Said in a way that seemed to imply the epidural was a way of making a labouring woman behave herself in an appropriate manner so that her husband would not be appalled by her behaviour.

My DM, ever since I got past 12 weeks, said with enthusiasm and glee: You could deliver at any time!
At 25 weeks plus: Oh I'm so excited, you could give birth any day now!

Me, mentally, over and over, and then very loud ranting once she'd gone: WHY do you want me to have such a premature baby that she would have to be hooked up to all kinds of wires, tubes and monitors just to SURVIVE let alone thrive????

Not sure I'll ever forgive her for that. I'm 38 weeks now. Apparently I'll give birth on Sunday according to her, think as long as I give birth before my due date, she'll be able to smugly say she predicted an early birth for the rest of time. On Sunday I am sitting down and concentrating on keeping my cervix and general fanjo area well and truly shut, aside from wee breaks...

Sorry for the major ranting but ohhhhhhh that feels better!

May I join...

After a former colleague found out I was pregnant and subsequently spread it to whoever would listen before I stepped through the door, launch upon me grilling me to death with questions despite me not knowing her very well.

Was it planned?
I bet your hoping for a boy so you can ask for -best friends- stuff
What are you going to do about work? - before I could reply to this she was already telling me I couldn't do what I planned (this is really expert knowledge that I'm convinced she has researched prior to this conversation)
I attempted to walk away at various points she just doesn't get it!
It's the fact that I barely know her and now I'm pregnant she feels that she can ask such personal questions. What's wrong with people!?

Every time I go near any food whatso ever an otherwise lovely older colleague says 'don't touch your stomach whilst you're craving! (Cos all eating is cravings?) You'll give the baby a birthmark!

I've never heard that one!

I reckon s/he made it up for a laugh or is secretly a MNer and wanted to make it onto this thread

My god purrpurr! I don't know how you haven't committed murder yet! Sounds like your dm is just being a bit thick, don't hate her forever! x

I am 32 weeks. This is in the last few days.

"Wow you look massive".
"You look like you are about to burst"

"You are much bigger than XX" (I am due one week before XX. She is 5ft 10 and this is her first baby. I am 5ft and this is my second dc).

I am going to get bigger.
I am aware that my 26" waist is now 41".
I do not need people to comment every where I go on my body.
I am very happy to be having this baby. Poo bum willy bum wee to them all.

Oh my god.. if I had to give an award to the most insulting comment a woman got on here it would have to be 'another boy.. sad face'... what a disgrace.. People are so weird.

I've had 'em all, including 'oh, I bet your husband's gutted' from a work colleague when I told her we're having a girl. WTF?

I also hate it when people say 'so-and-so's bump was much bigger at your stage' as they give me a worrying look. I don't mind the 'you're huge' ones but it's the 'small bump' ones that irrationally worry me! I start to wonder if the baby's disappeared or stopped growing!

The ones that realllllly annoy me are the 'why on earth can't you have a glass of wine / bit of pate / some brie, women ate stuff like that before all the guidelines came out and we all turned out fine' (from my sis-in-law). Plus: 'God, you're already letting this baby rule your life, surely you can come out clubbing for one night'.

Oh, and then there's the 'God, can't believe you're breast-feeding, it's disgusting, boobs aren't meant for THAT. And doesn't it chain you to your baby? Ergh, I'd never breast-feed' (again, from sister-in-law ;-)

Me and DP work in the same place so we are constantly bombarded by all sorts. Worst one i think when colleague being a total prat gets snappy reaction and is like 'ooo she's all hormones stay away from becca today!' No your just an idiot.
Staff room full, eating tea. "Omg are you not scared I wouldn't know what to do if I was pregnant now" yes because your single and weren't planning a baby!
And to the breastfeeding. "You won't do it out of the house will you!" No when I venture outside I just won't feed dc!
Almost everyone outside of work first said we all thought it would be Samantha way before you! Samantha is my younger sister shes only 17!!!
And all the huge comments too.

Trixielox - that is unbelievable! What, exactly, does she think they are for???