Possible change of hospital at the last minute...

[FormerlyKnownAsPrincessChick]

I'm 32 weeks and we're in the midst of a nightmare renovation. We may be into our house before the baby is due but it's looking like it will be tight. We should have been in months ago but have been hit with problem after problem and delay after delay.

We've been staying with our in laws, who are localish to our new home and the hospital we should be going to for the birth of baby. However, we can't stay here with a new born. It's just not feasible for lots and lots of different reasons.

If we can't be into the new house in time, which is looking more and more likely as the weeks go by I'll have to move in with my parents (who are 50 miles away). If this happens, I'll not be able to go to the hospital near our new home - it's simply too far away.

Obviously I want to be in my home with the baby and would ideally leave it up until the last minute to decide based on what's going on. I'm not really loving the idea of going back to mum and dad's for the last few weeks of my pregnancy, having to call DH to let him know when I've gone into labour with my mum and dad flapping around with me and then going back from a strange hospital with a new born and potentially being away from DH during the first few weeks of baby's life.

However, we have to be practical and I have to face up to this as something that could happen (sort of plan for the worst and hope for the best). We also have to make a decision at some point, we can't just keep bumbling along hoping it will all be ok because there are so many things to sort out. I like to know what's going on, am a natural planner and I'm finding this situation frightening and stressful. DH is more of a winger and so he doesn't find it so problematic.

The other concern is that my midwife appointments are held at the hospital near our house and by moving up to Mum and Dad's and hoping that we'll be in on time will mean to-ing and fro-ing from mum and dad's back down to near where our house is. This won't be easy as DH will be staying with his Mum and Dad for work / overseeing renovations etc and we only have one car, which he needs. It would mean him coming up to get me to take me down for appointments or I'd have to get a train, which is do-able but not great.

I'm at a loss of what to do at the moment. I don't want to make any rash decisions as we've still got 8 weeks to go but on the otherhand I want to be prepared and not spending the last few weeks of pregnancy in complete stress about not knowing where I'm going to be / traveling up and down from. I'd be going up to stay with Mum and Dad in mid-May anyway, so do I just wait and see until then?

This is really playing on my mind. DH is brilliant but is being a bit "I'm doing all I can to get the house ready, I can't make any promises, just wait and see". He's under a lot of stress as he has taken responsibility for the house, has a stressful job to do and is also doing his best to support me. I don't want to go on and on about this as it makes him feel under more and more pressure when he's already got a lot on his plate. I fear I've already gone on and on about it too much already and we're not really getting to any sensible place - just him keeping on saying that he's trying his best and me wanting a concrete answer, which just isn't there.

If anyone has any practical advice or similar experiences, I'd love to hear from you. Is it easy to switch hospitals? Could I just rock up at a different hospital to give birth in if I don't make any changes / switch over beforehand?

Hi, didn't want to read and run,

Is it possible to stay with your inlaws until your labour, go to the planned hospital then travel to your parents afterwards, saves you changing, MW, Hospital and all other plans?

Hope it all works out for you, couldn't imagine how stressed you must feel.

Congrats and good luck

YummyMummy that's a very good idea. I had been planning to go and stay with mum and dad during maternity to have a break from the in laws but there is no reason why I couldn't go up there for a week or two for the break, get a temporary nursery sorted, and then come back down again. If we were in our house then I could just get mum and dad to bring the baby stuff down to us. It's definitely something to consider. I'm not sure my powers of rational thinking are on my side at the moment!

Sounds like a fantastic plan, make a bad situation better, you shouldn't be stressed at the moment and I hope it all works out for you, sometimes someone else's input can put a lightbulb on

I'm sure you will work something out and I'm positive your parents won't mind travelling down with temp nursery if must be.

Good luck!

Sounds like your labour problems are all sorted, congratulations!

Just thought though, is there any chance your DH could get someone else in to help him finish off the renovation faster? I know that it's a huge extra expense, but if he's doing this on his own evening and weekends so he can also go to work full time (stop me if I've presumed too much, but it sounds like he's mega busy) he may feel it is worth the cost if you can afford it.

A hired person would also be able to give you a date for completion too, and will (hopefully, seeing you're 32 weeks pg and all) pull out all of the stops to make sure you get in on time.

Good luck!

I wasn't in your situation when having DD, but owing to the due date being so close to Christmas we were at my in laws when I was 38 weeks. They live 2.5 hours from us. When I discussed it all with my midwife she said that as long as I had all my notes, hospital bag and car seat there too, I could go to any hospital with a maternity dept. I just needed to be aware that if there were complications, we would have to stay put once baby arrived, but as it was with family there would have been no issue. So I made sure I had the hospital phone number and knew where it all was, and that was that. Didn't need it after all but it meant I could relax knowing that it would be ok. The unexpected occurs all the time in pregnancy! As it is, my midwife appointments are all done in the community and the hospital is completely separate for delivery, so it will not be 'my' midwife who delivers DS. They talk about possible birth locations and plans but ultimately you can ask for a preference (birth unit, main hospital) when it happens, and if they have space fine but if not, you get what you get here.

Not sure if that helps, but good luck anyway!

Thanks for the info snowflake I really wasn't sure what would happen if I wasn't near the preferred hospital / in a different trust area if I started to go into labour. The hospital near my mum and dad's is really close and I could probably walk there if needed. I'll just make sure I have their phone number. I hadn't considered that I may be turned away from the hospital we had chosen - god knows why as I know plenty of people it's happened to. I think it's the not being in my own home / knowing where I'll be setting up for the new arrival that's making me feel so disorientated.

stackingcups we have a plasterer coming in to replaster ceilings; electrician doing all of the electrics; DH's Dad helping with the tiles - so we are getting help, obviously it's not being completely done by trades but we are at the limit of what we can spend having already gone massively over budget with all the problems we've uncovered. It's a valid suggestion though. Luckily DH is freelance and only on a 3 day a week contract at the moment but 3 days of full on work and 4 days of renovations for the last year and bit is taking its toll.

I had a little cry at lunch time over this. The realisation that we may not be in our home is sinking and really getting to me. I've already done 7 months at the in laws, I was really looking forward to new home and new baby :(