Booked in for ELCS - mixed feelings :-((

[CareerGirl01]

Had EMCS after long labour/forceps/ventouse and failed epidural with dd1. Was hoping to try for a VBAC with dc2 (35 weeks pg) but after a bleed and fears of prem labour at 30 weeks and with my DH worried that he'll have to witness 'Texas chainsaw massacre part 2) I've asked for an ELCS. My consultant didnt even question my decision (although I heard the midwife giving him a grilling in the corridor outside as he booked me in on the hospital computer).
I know I probably could have the baby vaginally. If she comes earlier I've said I will see how my labour progresses. Hope I've made the right decision.

I don't have experience in this as I had both of my two vaginally, but just wanted to remind you that it's up to you in the end, not your DH, and ultimately it's only your feelings about it that matter (sorry to your DH but that's how it is, though he may want to consider counselling if he had a bad experience; my DP was offered counselling after I had a difficult time with DC1).
Hopefully some others who've been in your situation will be along soon to share their thoughts.

For what it's worth, I thought that natural vaginal childbirth was straightforward until I delivered my first, which ended up with forceps delivery and episiotomy, taking 2 years to repair, and I don't want to risk it again a second time so have elected for a CS.

My sister has had 4 kids; 2 VB and 2 ELCS, and she swears the CS are easier to recover from!

I know everyone is different but I am looking forward to a 6 (ish) week recovery with the CS, over a 2 year recovery with a vaginal birth.

You could be spared untold misery by having a CS!!!!!!!

I persuaded my Dsis to have a Vbac. I found recovery very quick.

She still hasn't forgiven me I believe that electives are very calm procedures in comparison. That's the problem with this childbearing business, you don't really know what might happen until it happens.

You don't sound happy with your decision - are you really sure that is what YOU want? If your DH is not mentally up to being your birth partner, have someone else (a female friend or relative maybe). Some men can't deal with child birth, but child birth isn't about them so the woman's wishes should still come first.

I had a VBAC, it was fine, gruelling, but fine, and I was up and about same day, and managed a walk to the shops the day after. It was ventouse, so not without intervention, but recovery has been very very quick. 4 weeks after and I'm back to my old self. Just because your last labour was traumatic does not mean this one will be too.

hello careergirl01...i read this book on ELCS and it has really helped and informed me (due to medical reasons this is liekly my only option)

it might help.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00867U590/ref=oh_d__o00_details_o00__i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Thanks kelly. I think I'm happier with the idea of ELCS than VBAC. But if I do go into labour earlier I will try to see how things progress. I'm just so aware that both options come with pros and cons.

Hi Careergirl - I can understand your dilemma. I had an EMCS with my daughter after a horrid failed induction. I'm 95% sure that I want a section this time round but there is still a tiny part of me that thinks it would be nice to VBAC. DP caught the end of one born every minute last night - which showed a woman giving birth and developing shoulder dystocia . He made the comment that he was so glad that I was having s section, which made me wonder just how supportive he would be if I wanted to VBAC.

Do you have a birth options clinic you could visit ?

I had mixed feelings right to the end second time round. I'd had an emcs first time round after an 8hr 2nd stage, ventouse, attempted rotation and a lot of trauma. I don't think that you ever feel truly confident second time round after a difficult first time and I realised quite quickly it was because neither option was 100% what I wanted. I would have liked a natural delivery without the trauma and intervention but knew firsthand how wrong that can go and knew if I opted for a vbac, there was the chance of another emcs. With an elcs, I had to shut the door on any chance of vaginal delivery and I didn't want to do that either.

In the end, the only option was to make a choice and exercise control within that as far as possible. So if you choose a vbac attempt, be clear with your cons what you would like within that, discuss how and why decisions would be made, when you would move to intervention, how long they would like to let you labour. If you choose elcs then do you want the screens lowered, music, skin to skin etc. You can only make decisions on the variables available within the option which you think suits you best. Probably not perfectly, but best for YOU.

I attempted a vbac btw and after a 3 day labour.... had an emcs! BUT it was much calmer than first time round, no trauma, I wasn't exhausted and sobbing. I recovered quickly, up and around later that day, no pain relief needed and was back running at 8 weeks. I felt in control and that was the difference.

I kept telling myself that the labour and delivery were just the process by which the baby got here and all I could do was make it as positive as possible regardless of method and look forward to bringing another baby into the world.

Thanks for sharing show the hospital I'm booked in to have ELCS are very good at gentle c sections - even after my EMCS with DD1 we had skin on skin and she was breastfeeding when I Watson the recovery room. I will insist on this second time round - though I probably won't need to.

Hi careergirl,

I had an ELCS exactly 2 weeks ago, following a traumatic ventouse delivery 3.5years ago with my DD. My scar with dd didn't heal, so I needed surgery when she was 6months old. it took me a long time to recover physically & an ever longer time to recover emotionally from dd's birth.

Personally, the decision to have an ELCS with ds was the best decision I ever made. Like you say, I did have a little niggling doubt 'what if it would have been fine this time?' but I didn't want to have to risk finding out, to be honest.

The op itself was amazing. Very chilled out, and they delivered Ds straight on to my chest & we had loads of lively skin to skin. In terms of recovery, I feel pretty good two weeks on. I haven't taken any paracetamol since day 8, and am feeling nothing more than the odd period like twinge.

I think a huge part of it for me was being sure of my decision, so make sure you feel comfy with your choice.

Good Luck!

With my 2nd emcs, they let dh watch the whole procedure and tell me what was happening. That was nice. Apparently I look like lasagne inside.

There might be lots and lots of ways you can be involved in the birth if it's elective.

I have 2 friends who went for elec sects after traumatic first births.

I think they too had reservations but they believe that they made the right decisions. Their experiences were calm and "ok".

Another friend pushed on with VBAC and had similar complications to first birth, she had lots of problems and they nearly lost the baby.

I do also know friend's who have had successful VBACs.

I think either 'path' has pros and cons. You need to try to reach a place of vague acceptance of your choice.

As others have said though it does sound like you are making choices based on others. If you really want a VBAC could you find another birth partner etc or somehow help DH to feel better about the prospect of VBAC.

Feel for you, know from other threads you have a lot on your plate.

Thanks MrsMargot I'm a bit all overthrow place but the more I think about it the more right it feels choosing an ELCS.