To buy or not to buy?

[elizabuff]

Hope someone can give me some advice about this as I'm trying to stock up on things for baby's arrival and really can't decide whether or not to get a baby monitor with a sensor mat. My sister had one for all 3 of hers and I don't really know whether I want one or not - obviously if something terrible happened I would never forgive myself if I thought that I could have prevented it, but I'm not sure if it will just make me ultra paranoid instead of actually being some help. Also, the baby will be in a carrycot downstairs during the day and in a cot in the bedroom at night, so I would have to move the mat around when I move her. It's not the expense (though they are quite costly), but I'm starting to feel like a bad mother before I even become one for even contemplating not getting it! Is this daft or should I go for one?

we bought one.......ds early arrival caught us unawares so hadn't had the chance to buy a monitor before bringing him home.

my experience is that i slept much better for having the 'safety' of the sensor mat. it just helped me relax instead of watching my baby all night.(we were at home three weeks without any kind of monitor, and hardly slept)

i know it'll be kept for if we have another one.

elizabuff, i got one too, but not till about a month or 2 later....one night whilst baby was sleeping in with me, i suddenly woke up realising i couldnt hear the rhythym of breathing, and it was awful and what felt like probably 10mins was probably only a minute but i swear if i wasnt sleeping right next to him i wouldnt have heard the breathing stop...doctor said we will never ever know if the baby would have just started breathing again or by me waking him up from his deep sleep i stopped him from something worse....

...after that we bought a sensor mat, and i was really assured then, and i felt i could sleep properly.....but baby didnt always like sleeping in his cot, so in the end he slept with me, and you cant use the mat then cos obviously it wouldnt work the same!

what im trying to say is, its good for peace of mind, especially if you want to put baby in cot whilst you and dh spend quality time downstairs, so i would recommend it.

but your not a bad mother if you dont buy it!! couldnt your sister lend hers to you for a few months?

good luck what ever you decide, but dont forget, the market out there will have all sorts of gadgets, some good and some bad, but they know that new mothers will tend to feel guilty and buy a lot of stuff cos they know how to pull your strings

We bought loads of things for dd's arrival and if I could do the shopping again with hindsight I wiuldn't buy 99% of the things we bought. However, the monitor with sensor mat is in the 1% of things I would keep on my list as it gives me peace of mind when dd is sleeping on her own before we come to bed and during the night I don't keep feeling the need to keep waking up to check she's breathing. That said, don't feel you're a bad mother for not buying one (or indeed anything else) you can be a good mother and buy nothing at all (although a few nappies might make your life easier ).

Bought a normal monitor without sensor mat. Never took it out of its packaging. Baby slept so little I was happy for every peace and quiet I got. Never remember checking breathing.

Plus my baby had a heart condition and underwent open heart surgery at 4 months. So there were bigger issues at stake.

Buy one if you think it will give you peace of mind. I agree with Mrs Fogi that 99% of baby things you buy you could probably do without. In my case, the monitor was one of them.

Bubbly, that's the whole point of co-sleeping, or at least having the baby next to you if not in the same bed with you. You are what helps the baby to restart breathing. Babies sleeping very near their mother breathe better.

We got a monitor when ds was a few months old, because we were going on holiday to a cottage and didn't know what the room arangements would be like, and whether we would hear him crying if we were downstairs in the evening.

I wouldn't other with a sensor mat. From what I have heard they are either so sensitive that, if you have a very placid sleeper, they go off all the time, or they are so insensitive that they aren't worth the agro.

Babies are far tougher than you realise, especialy when you're a first-time-mum (not intending to patronise! ). By all means get a baby monitor, they're very useful if you're out of ear-shot, but if you are very worried about your baby's breathing then the best thing to do is to keep him near you: at night in or right by your bed, in the daytime in a basket or swing in the same room as you.

I thought about buying one with a sensor mat but decided it would make me more paranoid so just bought a normal one instead. BTW there is no evidence that they actually prevent cot death. From the SIDS website:

Do movement (breathing) monitors prevent cot death?

Despite their widespread use there is no research evidence that monitors, also known as apnoea or breathing monitors, prevent cot death. Babies can and do die whilst on a monitor. They are designed to sound an alarm after 20 seconds if they can’t detect a baby’s breathing movement. They may use sensor pads on the tummy, an elastic belt, a pressure pad under the baby or an ultrasound beam. They do not monitor air flow and therefore can not detect a blocked airway until breathing movements stop.

We bought one without a mat and have been really happy with it Didnt want one with a sensor mat as I too thought it would make me paranoid. Ours has a thing where you can play a lulaby from the parent part and turn a light on and talk. Have ofund it really usefulll as could close the doors so he was not disturbed but still hear even if he just sturred. Found that reasurring. He has nearly always slept well and found that when he was in my room still, I worried when I was in the room sleeping more than when I was downstairs. Also let him sleep in the lounge in a carrycot in the day when he was very young.

I found it worthwhile because it helped to make me less paranoid -- but it depends largely on your personality type. If you think it'll make you stress more then don't buy one.

I got one for DS1 and found that it gave me reassurance. DS2 has now come along and we have had a few probs just before and after the birth so having the sensor mat just makes me feel more secure. If we didn't have it then I don't think that I would sleep at all.

Thanks for all the advice - going to have a chat to DP about it later and see what he thinks (though he has already expressed the opinion that if the baby's asleep he'll just be happy it's quiet - has also said it might be more of a mother thing [certainly where he's concerned] getting paranoid about it).

Seona1973 - after I saw your post I googled 'breathing monitors' and came up with a huge number of hits that basically said that unless there is something wrong with your baby, it's extrenmely premature or you've lost a child to cot death before, then doctors don't recommend using the monitors at all. It did seem to be that virtually everyone (including an Horizon expose) said that the monitors wouldn't prevent cot death anyway and only served to either fuel parental paranoia or sets parents' minds at rest (depending on which way inclined you are I think). Unsurprisingly, the only people really advocating them to any degree were the ones selling them.

I think unless (god forbid) there is something wrong that means we need/would feel happier with a monitor, we will probably do without. But do feel much more comfortable now having your opinions and making an educated decision. Thank you!

Can't you borrow your sisters?

Afraid not - she's still using it at the moment and got another one on the way that she'll need it for.

we got the angel care baby monitor and it offers us the reasurrance we need. Sure people/friends think we are OTT (esp as this is the 2nd monitor we bought for dd..we needed to be reasurred) BUT it allows us to put dd to sleep and not worry as much. We have had a few "false" alarms when dd sleeps at the very top/bottom of her cot in a ball BUT we would rather have false alarms than not be be prepared iykwim...

We find it brilliant and will prob be using it until dd is 16 ..!!!!

It´s daft to start feeling like a bad mother for contemplating not buying a baby monitor!

Less is definitely more imo. For me, a new baby needs mum, milk, adequate clothing, comfy cot/pram and a sling. Don´t waste your money on anything flash, you´ll leave it in its box for at least 6 months then it´ll be too late to use it and you won´t have missed it anyway! You only see what you need when baby is born, most stuff is ott.

I agree with everyone who's said that it helps you sleep better. Even if you don't buy it for babies safety, then buy it for your sanity and sleep!

Although now ds is rolling we have had a couple of scares where he's rolled right to the end of the cot and the monitor can't pick up his movements so it's gone off!

Definitly would have one again for the next baby.

I think it depends on your house. We bought one whends was a few days old and took it back a few days after that. The only part of the house we couldn't hear him (gr flr bathroom at back of house - ds front bedroom upstairs) couldn't get a reception.
If you do get one I'd say go to Argos becuase if it doesn't do what you think it will you can take it back without any argument as to why it isn't suitable - Mothercare couldn't.

We had one and I would recommend it. Think we have the Tommee Tippee. When baby is in its own room you can switch the sound down but see breathing via a light that comes on with each breath. It is very useful if your baby has a cold, blocked nose etc and you are in bed you can just look up at the monitor and know they are breathing properly.

When they are old enough you can detach the sensor pad and use as normal monitor.