Anyone else having baby number 2 and more scared about giving birth

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I am 37 wks and really beginning to panic about giving birth. I had a natural birth last time with a 2nd degree tear. It was all too quick to get any pain killers but feel very lucky that it wasn't too long.

For some reason I have convinced myself that I'm going to tear really badly this time and it will last for a lot longer. Am I being completely irrational? Anyone else feel like this? Anyone know whether 2nd births are easier or harder.....

You see I'm all a panic

My SIL said this to me before I gave birth to No. 2 (and I was worrying abouy it).

"After No. 1, I was scared to give birth again. But having had No. 2, I wouldn't be afraid to give birth a third time."

Those words proved true to me - it really was SO much easier the second time.

I had a crash section with DD1 and it was a long road to recovery. I was frightened of ending up either with another crash section or another emcs with a spinal/epidural (terrified of the idea of a needle in my spine - yuk) and obviously had no idea what a normal delivery would be like. As it turned out, my second birth couldn't have been better - gas & air, reasonably quick, no tears or stitches - it was amazing.

I have been anecdotally told by non-expert friends that the main thing with avoiding tears is to listen when the midwife tells you not to push. I listened and was very careful to avoid pushing at this point having been warned about the possibility of tearing at this point by a number of friends. I have no idea how true this is but worth a shot!

Yy emsyj is right my sil told me that too & it was all I thought about dont push don't push & it worked

I was petrified with dc2 I think it's because you know what's coming so its worse but you know you will be fine.... All labours are hard but you have done it before & you can do it.... I am pregnant with dc4 thoughso this could be a case of suppressing memories! Good luck

thank you for taking the time to reassure me! I will try not to push unless told- although last time was told just to push with legs up in stirrups and ignore contractions. I am beginning to think that's why I had a tear........

Hop everyone has a good pregnancy and birth, for those expecting!

Yes! I am petrified this time, whereas I was more blaze (or in denial) last time. I think it's worse this time as we know what it can be like! But 99% of people I have spoken to have said it is easier the second time around, so just hang on to that. Chat to your midwife about how you feel though, I plan to nearer the time. I was scared of being induced last time and chatting about it with my midwife made me feel less afraid. Good luck! x

Oh goodness, stirrups???? Were they necessary, or just for the midwife's convenience? I was leaning over the sofa when pushing and my midwife said baby wasn't coming as my bum was too high and I needed to get more upright - as soon as I hauled myself up onto my knees she was out in minutes. Worth thinking and reading about birth positions, I was upright and mobile in labour and fairly upright for delivery and I think it might make a difference if it's possible to get into the best position.

Good luck, and congratulations!