Struggling with 2nd pregnancy

[louloutheshamed]

Apologies in advance - this is going to be very moany....

I am 15 weeks with dc 2. I had a v straightforward pg with ds, a bit tired at the beginning but that was it really, and I loved being pregnant. This time round it's very different. I feel sick all the time and have a horrid horrid taste in my mouth that doesn't go away unless I eat. My bmi has gone up from 26 to 30 since my last pg so I am trying to watch what I eat so feel consumed by guilt whenever I eat anything, which I know is stupid, but I am worried about gd.

At the same time I am absolutely exhausted, I have no energy at all, and go to bed at 8pm most nights. I work full time as a teacher and am studying for a masters so I feel bad that I am not devoting enough time to everything.

My ds is 2 and is totally amazing, but I just feel I don't have the energy to keep up with him. He still wakes up v early, this morning he came into our bed at 5am and just wants to cuddle me and climb on me and fidget and I feel all 'touched out', but then I feel guilty about that too.

I'm also worried hat I am starting to resent this baby for being more 'difficult' than ds! I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love him, or even comparing to him, as he is so sweet and funny, but that's terrible isn't it?!

I think I feel disappointed that this pg is so hard, as I was actually looking forward to being pg again, and the reality had been v different.

Am I crazy to feel this way? Has anyone else had a difficult 2nd pg?

I'm struggling too, 30 weeks now so not long thank god. I am EXHAUSTED. I mean it; I feel like my bones are made of lead. I am being a crap mum to DS (2.3), we just watch cbeebies and I lie on the sofa. I can't wait to give birth and feel like myself again. And this is my absolute last child!

DH doesn't really understand either, although he is trying

Its tough! My ds is 5 now and goes to school but I also work. I finished studying last year and could not have been pregnant and done everything. 26 + 5 now, the sickness has eased but have HG so its still there and will be till baby comes.

I am exhausted and have been since the beginning. I have spd which kills me and is beginning to reduce what I can physically do. Thankfully my dh has been brilliant and really does help with as much as he can without question or complaint. He does sometimes forget but he soon remembers when I start to throw up again and have to take to my bed.

I have a very close friend who is also finding her 2nd pregnancy very hard going compared to the first time. We have a good hormonal moan and giggle together and it really helps!

I go to bed when ds goes to bed. I am in pjs by 6 most nights and at weekends I get as much rest as possible. DS gets to watch tv far more than ever before and I am becoming a fan of the afternoon bath at weekends. It gives me a break and means ds and dh have to get on with it. I am going to start and get my supermarket shopping delivered from this week. I dont cook as much as I did simply because I cant face it so frozen pizza, beans on toast etc is for days I just cant manage.

Can you get a cleaner in once a fortnight/week to give you a break from the housework? Have you got family/friends that could help out. Can you put dc into nursery for some of the school holidays? I know it all costs money but sometimes it has to be done.

I think you need to cut yourself some slack!

A 2 year old? Full time teacher? Masters degree?
Something needs to give, and only you can decide which one.

You need to slow down. How you can juggle all that, I don't know.
At the moment. It's obvious you're the one who's 'giving'... and this is
not good for you, your unborn baby and your toddler!

I'm amazed nobody else, family or friends has said that
to you.

Continue going to bed early, that's what's probably keeping you going.
Regarding the sickness, see an Osteopath.
My Osteo fixed my sickness in one 30 minute session!
Bloody marvellous... So marvellous, I was convinced I was having a girl,
[as I'm only sick with boys... I'm 32 weeks preggers with no 4].
Then, had to ask the scanner to triple check when she said it was a boy!!
I paid £45 for a 30 min session, I know it's expensive, but it was blooming
worth it. I went once for sickness, then I've been once for my sore pelvis
and lower back.... and I'm going once again in a couple of weeks. So, you
don't need to go many times. Look into it, it's the best thing I ever did.

Parenthood is one massive guilt trip after another. You need to make some changes to your life now, as you're not superhuman. And, it's not fair to resent your little toddler. He sounds like a normal 2 year old. You are burning the candle at both ends, so of course you'll be twitchy/resentful. You're exhausted. My youngest is two, and he's absolutely scrumptious, but bloody hard work!!!!!!!!

Everything you're feeling is perfectly normal.... honest.

Resentful of pregnancy... Resentful of toddler... We all get like that. We're human. It's hard sometimes.... Pregnancy is like one massive roller coaster. I was up and down throughout all pregnancies. Somedays, I can remember screaming inside "EVERYONE WANTS A PIECE OF ME!! ARGGHH!!!!"

Just you wait until you hold your new baby in your arms... And he or she is looking at you... You wait until your little two year old comes and meets his little baby sibling for the first time. It is the best feeling ever.
You will instantly love your new baby, just as much as your little boy.
We all worry about this.. And it's just one of the hormonal worries we all suffer with when pregnant.

No one's being a bad Mum... Who cares if you up tv for a while.. Lying on the sofa with little ones is lovely, lots of Mummy cuddles... Sounds lovely.
My two year old loves watching The Incredibles with me.. He laughs all the way through it, babbling away... It's lush!
When I have bursts of energy, rare they are, but when I do, we nip out and do something.. We have to get the big girls to school and back everyday, and he loves it!! Bless him.

DH, they don't really have a bloody clue! But, they wouldn't, as it's us that's doing everything and feeling everything. I find the bigger bump gets, and the more huffy and puffy I get, my DH steps up, and says go lie down and he'll watch the kids. Or take them to the shop or park. I've noticed he's more involved with me and bump recently...
Speak to your OH's, tell them how you're feeling. They won't know otherwise. Say you need some help, or support. And tell them what they can do to help and be more part of you and bump.

When you're pregnant and you feel low, and feel these feelings, you feel so lonely, as you feel silly and bad for having these feelings.
But don't feel bad.... We all feel them, and they pass.

Just be kind to yourselves, share your feelings and don't beat yourself up about it.

OP, in four weeks time, you'll have your 20 week scan! Yay! You'll get to see little baby again. And that will lift you... and bring you and OH together, sharing it.

Bigkids... Not long now, the final stretch.. And, I warn you, this bit always drags for me! Lol! Lots more cuddles on the sofa with your little one, and enjoy the special time you have together before baby arrives.

Xxx

I think you need to cut yourself some slack!

A 2 year old? Full time teacher? Masters degree?
Something needs to give, and only you can decide which one.

You need to slow down. How you can juggle all that, I don't know.
At the moment. It's obvious you're the one who's 'giving'... and this is
not good for you, your unborn baby and your toddler!

I'm amazed nobody else, family or friends has said that
to you.

Continue going to bed early, that's what's probably keeping you going.
Regarding the sickness, see an Osteopath.
My Osteo fixed my sickness in one 30 minute session!
Bloody marvellous... So marvellous, I was convinced I was having a girl,
[as I'm only sick with boys... I'm 32 weeks preggers with no 4].
Then, had to ask the scanner to triple check when she said it was a boy!!
I paid £45 for a 30 min session, I know it's expensive, but it was blooming
worth it. I went once for sickness, then I've been once for my sore pelvis
and lower back.... and I'm going once again in a couple of weeks. So, you
don't need to go many times. Look into it, it's the best thing I ever did.

Parenthood is one massive guilt trip after another. You need to make some changes to your life now, as you're not superhuman. And, it's not fair to resent your little toddler. He sounds like a normal 2 year old. You are burning the candle at both ends, so of course you'll be twitchy/resentful. You're exhausted. My youngest is two, and he's absolutely scrumptious, but bloody hard work!!!!!!!!

Everything you're feeling is perfectly normal.... honest.

Resentful of pregnancy... Resentful of toddler... We all get like that. We're human. It's hard sometimes.... Pregnancy is like one massive roller coaster. I was up and down throughout all pregnancies. Somedays, I can remember screaming inside "EVERYONE WANTS A PIECE OF ME!! ARGGHH!!!!"

Just you wait until you hold your new baby in your arms... And he or she is looking at you... You wait until your little two year old comes and meets his little baby sibling for the first time. It is the best feeling ever.
You will instantly love your new baby, just as much as your little boy.
We all worry about this.. And it's just one of the hormonal worries we all suffer with when pregnant.

No one's being a bad Mum... Who cares if you up tv for a while.. Lying on the sofa with little ones is lovely, lots of Mummy cuddles... Sounds lovely.
My two year old loves watching The Incredibles with me.. He laughs all the way through it, babbling away... It's lush!
When I have bursts of energy, rare they are, but when I do, we nip out and do something.. We have to get the big girls to school and back everyday, and he loves it!! Bless him.

DH, they don't really have a bloody clue! But, they wouldn't, as it's us that's doing everything and feeling everything. I find the bigger bump gets, and the more huffy and puffy I get, my DH steps up, and says go lie down and he'll watch the kids. Or take them to the shop or park. I've noticed he's more involved with me and bump recently...
Speak to your OH's, tell them how you're feeling. They won't know otherwise. Say you need some help, or support. And tell them what they can do to help and be more part of you and bump.

When you're pregnant and you feel low, and feel these feelings, you feel so lonely, as you feel silly and bad for having these feelings.
But don't feel bad.... We all feel them, and they pass.

Just be kind to yourselves, share your feelings and don't beat yourself up about it.

OP, in four weeks time, you'll have your 20 week scan! Yay! You'll get to see little baby again. And that will lift you... and bring you and OH together, sharing it.

Bigkids... Not long now, the final stretch.. And, I warn you, this bit always drags for me! Lol! Lots more cuddles on the sofa with your little one, and enjoy the special time you have together before baby arrives.

Xxx

It's very normal to wonder if you're ever going to be able to love another child as much as you do the first, but you do, you just do! :) (And then the same guilty feelings happen when you get pg with 3rd child etc etc)

15 weeks is still quite early, so feelings of utter exhaustion and sickness are likely to wear off (not definitely, but likely).

It will all get better! And congratulations btw

i found 2nd pregnanacy harder dd1 was 2.5 years we mostly watched cbbebies
too it is so hard running after another one

Thank you for your replies, I know it's a lot on my plate, but the masters is finished in May, and I will have a hugely reduced timetable by then at work as I teach a lot of exam classes so i feel like I just have to survive the next few weeks.

I don't resent my ds but I do feel bad that I haven't got enough energy to keep up with him.