I'm pregnant but not jumping for joy yet, I'm scared!

[Festen]

Hello everyone, I'm new here and nearly 5 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and was planned. We only decided to start trying at the beginning of Feb so got lucky, but I knew that it could take a few months to conceive so didn't expect to be pregnant so soon ! I must say I'm blummin' terrified at the moment and am much more scared than I am happy. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic with what I am sure are very common concerns - I'm scared that I won't love the baby and that my lovely relationship with my partner will be affected.

I have never been a girly girl and have no interest in other people's babies - when people bring babies into work my reaction is that of a typical bloke, I put my head down and hope I don't have to do any cuddling or coo-ing! However when my first niece was born 18 mths ago I was instantly and completely besotted with her! I knew then that when I decided I wanted to become a parent I would be just fine. Now it's here though I feel scared and can't wait to feel a bit more pregnant so the feelings kick in. Does/did anyone else feel this way? Or can you point me to any threads where this has been discussed already? Thanks!

Hi
I knew I wanted to be a mum for a long time but now I am 6 weeks pregnant and terrified!! I'm scared that something will go wrong!! But I'm also scared that my whole life is going to change and I won't be able to handle it!! So no your not the only one!!
I keep thinking of all the things I can't do anymore and things like that and it really freaks me out.
But I also know how much I will love the baby when its here and although I will have to change some things in my life I will get all new experiences and be able to do new things with friends that I haven't been involved in in the past.
Keep your chin up as I'm sure the further u get the calmer u will feel about it all xxx

Hi Festen and congratulations! I am 26+2 with my first and I still haven't done any jumping for joy yet. I will possibly stretch to a small one after the birth when this pregnancy malarkey is all over!

I too started TTC and found myself pregnant quickly, which is a shock, but the fact is that pregnancy is a very worrying time and your reaction sounds quite normal to me. The first 12 weeks were the slowest of my life!

I found setting myself little milestones helped me come to terms with it. When I was at your stage I was keen to get past 6 weeks because that meant (to me) the pregnancy was 'real' rather then chemical, then it was the MW booking appointment at 8 weeks, then it was the 12 week scan, etc.

As my pregnancy progresses the feelings you are currently having have disappeared for me as my bump grows and I can feel my baby moving. Up until 12 weeks it just didn't seem real.

It is very early days for you and you are probably still in shock. Give yourself some time to adjust and your brain will catch up with your body. Good luck!

I'm with you on this and feel terrible about it! I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and so far, I've felt nervous, panicky, worried and sick!

My DH is super excited and is already talking to my stomach, and whenever he talks to people about it, there's a definite sparkle in his eyes. Me? When I talk to people I moan about feeling sick and say how overwhelming it is...

I think it's hard when you're the mother though because you're having to deal with the emotional and physical side of things and I worry that if something goes wrong, it will be my fault. As far as my DH is concerned, he has a baby on order and he's excited about its arrival!

I'm holding onto the thought of holding my baby in my arms and that will be when the relief excitement kicks in!

Thanks for your thoughtful replies and congratulations to you both. It is just so strange that life has been flipped upside down but at the moment nothing feels different. I agree I must still be in shock at the moment. Thankfully I'm on holiday so I can just try to relax :)

I got pregnant first cycle and simialrly I'm not a girly girl (was really worried when I found out I was having a girl). Best advice I got was from Dh's boss. He said "When the baby is born you'll just know how to do stuff". He said his wife was just able to do everything and I was so sceptical at the time but it was true.

I felt exactly the same. I'd never been interested in babies and would come out in a cold sweat and cry buckets at what I'd done whenever I thought about it.
Actually I hated being pregnant but ohhhhh do I love my baby now she's here.

I was exactly the same when I found out I was pregnant. I really hadn't expected it to happen as quickly as it did and was very very nervous for the first three months. To the point that I told my mum and rather than it being this lovely exciting announcement I hastily followed it with 'but try not to get too excited until it's established!!'. I still feel pretty horrible about it all this time later (am 33 weeks now). Even when my partner came home and I told him he says I had a look of dread on my face the entire time. Then I had to take him to A&E but that's a whole other thread!

I was just utterly convinced something was going to go wrong and I'd lose the baby so I realise now I wasn't allowing anyone to get excited because I'd have felt even worse if something sinister happened. Knowing now that things have gone well I wish my attitude had been different but you can't change the past. I'm very very excited and settled about the whole thing now. You'll still have niggly days where something worries or concerns you (yesterdays was that the baby didn't move a lot of the day and when she did it was all muffled - cue me assuming she had the cord wrapped around her neck and was suffocating ) but I guess that's going to happen for the rest of their life unless you're massively chilled out which I'm not.