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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

*******MELSY*********

24 replies

Nbg · 08/05/2006 13:49

Here you go deary Smile

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melsy · 08/05/2006 14:03

aww thank you NBG.

I think its a big fear of medical staff , hospital envoirment , being out of control , everything being done on a need to know basis and of course , the actual pain and control of myself in labour. I lost a litre of blood and wasnt treated to well during the labour on the ward and birth , as they didnt treat my bloodloss until It was very apparent from my strange behavoiur , colour and general slurred speach that something really was very wrong with me. A day later after my mum screaming at the doctors to check my blood, did they tell me IN THE CORRIDOR , that I needed 3 units of transfusion. I really did feel like a peice of meat with no human feelings taken into consideration. It didnt help that for the 24hrs in my room in hospital leading up to the birth I was not taken very seriously , told to be quiet , they wouldnt put my tens machine on and didnt realise I was in in actual labour (I had been 3cm dilated that morning) and having problems and bubs was back to back. They kept on telling me to go back to bed with paracetomel and treated me like a nuisance. I had no family around as I wasnt in a labour room,my waters burst everywere and I had no one to look after me as I collapsed on the floor of my room in hospital. I was frightened beyond belief and no one cared.

sorry Im going on and on and its all over the place , but I think Im still haunted by it all , as you can see and its ever more apparent knowing Im going to be doing it all again come 15wks.

Nbg · 08/05/2006 14:33
Shock

Gosh that is pretty bad. I can see why you feel like you do then.

Have you had the chance to discuss this with your MW yet? If not I think that would be a good start.
Also will you be in the same hospital?

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melsy · 08/05/2006 14:41

I was assigned to a consultant due to my obstretic history, I saw his registrar a few weeks ago and he couldnt understand why I was seeing him as everything pregnancy wise apart from nasty illnesses and low bp . At the time all this hadnt yet reared its head again, so it wasnt discussed.

Im seeing the gp this week who helped me get into a different hospital, (THANKGAWD although if theyre too busy on d-day then I have to go back to the other hospital), Im not really sure what they can do. There is a post natal illness grp at the hospital , but Im not sure if I fit with it this being pre natal fear?.

eenywifemum · 08/05/2006 14:47

god melsy that sounds awful. I am so sorry. No one deserves their labour to be like that. Can you make sure that no matter what you are never left alone this time around? Like you always have your birth partner with you? i dont know how I would cope in the situation you were in by myself - well done though for getting through it.

Nbg · 08/05/2006 14:48

They may see you. I would say it depends on who you speak to.
Some will see it as illness others may not.

Thats great that you are in a different hospital too.
Would a trip around the old hospital maybe help in some way just in case you have to go back?

The chances of you getting the same care team again would be very slim.

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melsy · 08/05/2006 22:12

I went back at 5 weeks for an early scan and the scan room was directly opposite the ward I jad problems in and I was a right mess that morning, spontanous crying episode right in the waiting room, as if the ghost of me was re living it all again . Although emotions werent good that day anyway due to early bleeding. Ive also had to go there a few times since being pg to see emergnecy gp. Its not a good place for me.

I was on a post natal ward in labour and they had strict visiting hrs , I was heartbroken and angry as I should have been down on labour ward 24hrs before (with my birthing partners present), but there were no midwives or beds available. Unfortuntaley it was a mad mad time , as Royal free had shut their maternity unit and Barnet had closed its doors that day , as they couldnt cope with the excess from Royal free. It was crazy , there were queue's of women in labour just all sitting around the day rooms.

Nbg · 08/05/2006 22:24

I know it may seem really hard to imagine or maybe you are feeling quite positive but just because you had a bad experience then it doesn't mean you will this time.

Like you have just mentioned, it was a bad time for the hospital then so things will be different this time.

I hope that doesn't sound harsh but you get what I'm trying to say Smile

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melsy · 08/05/2006 22:34

I know what your saying is the rational way of looking at it and my mum and sister have said the same, and I try and say it to myself, I hear it but just find it hard to believe. Ptsd was very hard to recover from and it came about due to so many different factors, Im not sure its something I can treat myself.

Nbg · 08/05/2006 22:37

No I know what you mean. It's ok for someone who hasn't been through it to say these things.

What about CBT rather than hypnotherapy? You could get a referal through your gp for that but it may take a while depending on waitlists.

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melsy · 08/05/2006 22:44

I actually have an asessmant in a couple of weeks with physchology/mental health team , Its meant to be for CBT , but there wasnt any cbt specialists in my borough , but they put me on a list anyway. So not sure whats going on with that, I will go and see anyway. Bascially they had to offer what the phychiatrist had reccomeneded (even if not available then on NHS)after an episode one evening in 2004 with ptsd/ pnd / panic attacks/ambulance & certain type of unit in the same damn hospital. Being cryptic as I suddenly feel wierd spelling it all out.

Nbg · 08/05/2006 22:45

FWIW I suffered quite badly with anxiety after dd was born well actually when she was 2 weeks old. I think its more bordering on OCD tbh but whatever it was there and it's not a nice thing to go through.

I never had it treated. My gp prescribed some Ad's but I never took them and I'm glad I didn't.
I still have it now and it's alot more under control but the mind is a powerful thing.
I am worried that it's going to become bad again when baby arrives but I'd like to think that I can control it better this time.

So I can kind of sympathise how your feeling and it just sort of hit the nail on the head when you said about your anxieties rearing their ugly head again because thats exactly what it is.

Sorry if I'm rambling I have dd jumping in and out of bed atm!

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Nbg · 08/05/2006 22:47

Only say what your comfortable with Smile

I just hope that they can give you the help you need so that your more comfortable when you have baby no.2.

It's such an awful thing to go through.

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melsy · 08/05/2006 22:48

Not rambling NBG , just sorry to hear your worried about things. Anxietys hard to control at the best of times , having a baby can take it up several notches.

Nbg · 08/05/2006 22:52

I've told the MW's who have wrote it on my notes but it's never been mentioned since and with us moving to a new area I don't know how they will "deal" with it there.
I had a bout of it last night. DD woke up at 4am ish and I couldn't get back to sleep and it just hit me, you know that stomach churning feeling.

I know now alot of it is connected to dh working away. If I know he's not coming home that can make it worse.

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melsy · 08/05/2006 22:53

I suppose my spewing this all now is natures way of getting me to try and deal with it before hand and heal . I really do want to be more in control,positive stronger and calmer , and also more assertive in not allowing the treatment I got.The anxiety stops me being able to think about the kind of experience I want to have, as I felt so robbed before. I think 2nd time around I hope to be more savvy , more of a vetaran , but emotions deeply routed can do funny things hey. I just need some itense tools to help me with it.

melsy · 08/05/2006 22:59

I know exactly what yuor feeling, is there any way you can find out if you can just speak on the phone to one of the midwives in the area you are going to ? Im not even assigned a midwife team ,as Im supposed to be under consultant care what a joke, as now Ive been handed back to gp surgery.It all seems to buerocratic the whole system.

sorry about all the spelling, its terrible tonight!!!

Nbg · 08/05/2006 23:04

No they won't entertain me until we have actually moved in [sigh]
It would have been nice just to make a phone call to someone and say "hey I'll be here in a few weeks time can you just introduce yourself", but no can't do that.

Even things like my blood tests are all out of the window. They'll need doing in 2 weeks time and lord knows where we'll be then!

It really doesn't have to be as complicated as it is does it? They put me on shared care because wait for it,

I have had urine infections in the past!
Total waste of time.

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melsy · 08/05/2006 23:10

uurrghhh how damn frustrating, reminds me I got asked to leave my surgery whilst pg with dd, as we suddenly had the wrong postcode. I think it also took a few weeks to sort out being seen. So ridiculous , when they say dont give yourself added stress and then they add some themselves.

Nbg · 08/05/2006 23:13

Exactly!
I've called the local gp's to where we are moving to and explained our situation so they should know but I have a feeling that things won't be as simple as just registering and seeing a MW.
I bet I end up waiting weeks to get an appt.

Arghhhhhhhhhhh

rant over Grin

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melsy · 08/05/2006 23:14

corr must get to bed , wondred why I felt a bit yuck !!!

Would be good to talk some more, thank you for talking with me today NBG . I wonder if anyone else had the same as me 1st time around and is on 2nd??

This is like a little therapy in itself, I need to define what is at the heart of my fears about this.

melsy · 08/05/2006 23:20

rant away NBG , better out than in, I think !!!

melsy · 08/05/2006 23:20

rant away NBG , better out than in, I think !!!

Nbg · 08/05/2006 23:23

Yes get it out of your system Grin

Get yourself to bed and have a good kip Grin

I have to be up early as I promised dd I would take her to playgroup.

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fenny1 · 09/05/2006 08:51

Melsy

All hositals have to have a PALS group, Patient and Advice Liaison Service (although it may have a different name). Even if you are going to a differetn hospital from your first awful experience it may be worth contacting them and discussing your fears. They will be able to explain any systems in place in the current hospital and what the general levels of care are you should expect, which may be useful if you do end up in the other one.

Good Luck!!

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