Oh God, I think I'm pregnant. Eeek.

[ShadowsCollideWithPeople]

Bit of history - DP and I were TTC for several years, I had four MCs, was last pregnant in Jan 2010. We continued to TTC for two years after my last MC, then decided to take a break, moved forward with our careers, began to make our peace with the idea that it might never happen for us.

Now, my period is not due for two more days. However, am feeling a bit 'pregnant'. I have been so weepy - watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy earlier (one where Meredith picks up Zola and says 'Mama's here') and sobbed uncontrollably. I have been doing a lot of sobbing over the past few days. I normally only drink water at room temp, to the extent that I buy bottled water and store it at room temp, as even though our tap water is perfectly drinkable, it is normally too cold for me, straight form the tap. For the past few days, I cannot get enough of ice cold tap water. I adore it, drank about 2 litres today. Also, I have loved coarse peel marmalade for as long as I can remember - as of 3 days ago, I cannot abide marmalade with peel, had to go buy the no peel stuff.

My boobs are massive and very sore. I am full of energy, currently bouncing around the sitting room. I am also filled with an intense sense of euphoria. Am so damn happy I'm almost exploding with happiness. I know high energy is not a pg symptom as such, but it has been for me, every time. Also the happiness - I am usually a cynical, pessimistic person, but have always been euphoric in early pg. Finally, I had to go to Aldi tonight and buy some of their frozen jam and cream doughnuts - the last time I ate them was the first time I was pregnant. Oh, and (tmi alert) I have an obscene amount of vaginal discharge.

So, I know the obvious answer is to POAS, but DP is fast asleep and I don't drive, closest 24 hour store is a good 30 min walk away, so going to have to wait until tomorrow. Also, do not want to get DP's hopes up / freak him out. No idea what I actually want from this thread, as obviously no-one can tell me if I am pg. Just need to thrash it all out. Can anyone help keep me sane until I can POAS tomorrow? Aaaargh.

really really hope you get the answer you want

So......

Any news, OP? I've been keeping my fingers crossed thinking about you all day.

Oh, so sorry for not getting back to this earlier, guys. Had a long hellish day at work, no chance to get online at all, and now am feeling all sniffley again reading all of your lovely posts . Was a BFN, but am holding out a bit of hope, as AF is not due until tomorrow. And am still ridiculously hormonal (so either pg or PMSing big time), almost burst into tears dealing with a bitchy passenger earlier, then cried when I dropped the peas making dinner .

AWhistlingWoman, was off yesterday and decided to catch up on Greys. Was a bloody sobbing wreck! Seriously, tears and snots everywhere.

Okay, so going to stay level headed, test again in a couple of days if poxy fecking period doesn't arrive. One good thing - normally have hideous, crippling period pains from at least a day before it is due, due tomorrow and no pains at all yet . Have not mentioned anything to DP yet, which feels a bit weird or perhaps sneaky, but no sense in getting his hopes up / stressing him out.

Thanks so much for all of your thoughts/well wishes/crossed fingers. You are all amazing. Don't want to talk to DP just yet, can't talk to my Mum as she has been shite every time I have MC'd (she is not good at sympathy) and my best buddy has 2 DCs and is dying for DP and I to have babies, so will just get totally over-excited at the mere thought of me being pregnant. It's fab to be able to -ramble on endlessly-- get my thoughts on here .

Best of luck! Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you Shadows. I never test positive until 3 days after AF is due

Ramble away on here!

Remember to keep us posted.

While I clearly need to go and get a life as I'm getting far too excited about someone else POAS!!

Ah, thank you xigris. Will need a virtual vase for all the virtual . . Have lots of lovely white wine in the booze fridge, was tempted to have a big glass, but am playing it safe and having a large hot chocolate instead. Need something to calm me - due to fretting about whether or not I'm pregnant, and also because I just went in to the kitchen, flicked on the light, heard a huge popping noise, whilst at the same time all the lights went out, and a bulb exploded out of the ceiling and shot past my head all glow-y and orange .

I knew in myself I was pg and done test after test for about 2 weeks then the day after af was due got my bfp that's after 3 mc I am now just reaching 9 weeks pg so still possible good luck hoe u get the result u r after xxx

Ha, PipsWife, I have spent many hours on here with my fingers crossed that some internet stranger is pregnant. MN does funny things to you!

Okay, if I have free rein to ramble, here is another thing I am stressing about. My sister is getting married in a few months. I am one of her bridesmaids. If I am pregnant, she will be rather furious, I suspect. She will not want a tubby bridesmaid. She is buying us designer shoes, very expensive dresses, paying for teeth whitening, facials, etc etc. That makes her sound a bit of an arsehole, really she is lovely, but a total perfectionist. She would hate me being pregnant for her wedding, and I think, feel a bit like I am 'stealing her thunder'. FFS. Never mind counting my chickens before they hatch, now I am fretting about them before the eggs are even laid, so to speak. Aaaargh!!

LandsN, congratulations, and good luck. I hope that everything goes brilliantly for you. It is rather scary, isn't it? You must be over the moon, though. Have you told people yet or are you waiting?

It is very scary just day by day at the mo and no I have not told anyone except close friend my parents don't even know as soon as I know everything is ok I will tell them x

Hey ShadowsCollide - how's things? I have fingers crossed that AF has not appeared and that you are currently waving a wee soaked stick in dh's shocked face!!

@ daff!

Any news?

Good luck, hope you get the news you want! X

Hi, Lovelies. Last night, got a bit carried away and told DP that I thought I was pregnant, even though I had promised myself that I would say nothing until I was sure. His face just lit up, he looked so very happy. Tested this morning with FMU, and again this evening. Both BFNs. DP is at work, and I can't call him when he is at work. So sat on my couch, having a big fat glass of wine, shedding a few tears, feeling utterly sorry for myself. Sorry. I know that that is a big disappointing downer. Have to disappoint DP now too, again. Why did I get so carried away and tell him? Bollocks.

Though, Daffs, I do rather love the idea of waving a pee soaked stick in DP's face. I may do that anyway, to cheer myself up . Thank you all so much for all your loveliness.

Aww Shadows

Sorry for the BFNs, am in similar position (never been pg but ttc for nearly 2 years) and I know how hard it is to control excitement, and the crushing downer that has always followed.

Enjoy the x

It is bloody awful, isn't it, ImpatientOne? I am becoming a horrid, bitter person. I was last pg in Jan 2010. Two weeks to the day after my last mc, DP's brother and his wife announced that she was pregnant. I burst in to tears in the middle of Sainsbury's. They first met after DP and I started TTC, now they have 2 DCs. I feel envious of them, and I hate myself for it.

It is so easy to get carried away with excitement, and then feel crushed. Big hugs to you, ImpatientOne. Sorry you are dealing with this. Hope you get everything you want, and soon. Am currently trying to enjoy my big glass of wine, but would much prefer to be sipping a hot chocolate and wishing I could have a big glass of wine, IYKWIM

I totally know what you mean.

I'm on CD25 lying in bed wide awake (obviously pg insomnia) with achey boobs (pg obviously) and funny cramps (must be implantation)

Only snag is that this has happened most months for the last year or two!

I'm not going to offer any of the usual therefore by now completely infuriating however well intentionedplatitudes, just some x

Aww shadows - I am sorry it hasn't happened this month. Ignore if this is too nosey but have you and dh had tests to see if there is any treatable problem?
I know sometimes there is just no discernable reason.
Don't know what to say really, I just really hope you are pg soon. Take care.

And you too impatientone

Thanks Daffs

Any news Shadows ? Has AF arrived?

AF has arrived today. So now I have hideous period pains also. Grrrr. Daffs, not too nosey, if I can talk vaginal discharge on here, I can talk about anything . No tests, have been considering seeing the Doc about it, but tbh, I'm nervous. Or scared, or something. I'm not nervous of doctors (quite the opposite, love hospitals, enjoy having blood tests, I know, I'm an oddball), but I have a hard time admitting that I am not bullet-proof and invincible, physically. I've been known to walk around all day on a broken foot, or need to be dragged to A&E with a (as it turned out) ruptured appendix. I should do it. I plan on doing it. Then I get all waver-y and think, maybe we just are not supposed to have children. Maybe we would be shite parents. Maybe this is just how things are meant to be. Gaaah. Sorry. Rambling now. Again. Apparently I use the maximum possible number of words to convey my thoughts.

Thanks so much for all the very, very kind posts. A luffly nest of vipers, ye are .

B'stard AF. Sorry Shadows.

Actually I quite like hospitals too - freaks unite! I love all the medical stuff, it's really interesting and exciting

Ok, so you know what you should do. Docs may just say nothing wrong - keep trying but they may also say, ah we just need to do this and taaaa daaaaah. My friend had to have a very minor op - something to do with tubes I think (honest I was listening but it was years ago), and having failed to get pg for several years, became pg within a few months.

Because y'know maybe you will be ace parents and really are meant to be someone's mum. Don't let a bit of invincibility related fear stop you.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Great post Daffs

Sorry about AF Shadows although I hate it turning up it does at least set the reset button... I'm due any day now too.

Oh and you're both mad, liking hospitals! I work in the NHS and hate them and get terrible white coat syndrome! For our fertility tests I had to ask to be referred to the next town so that I don't get treated by or bump into too many people I know.