there really is no compromise here, is there?

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

Feeling sad as Dp disagree on whether to have another baby. Someone's going to lose. I want another, he doesn't.

Has anyone else been in the same situation? What did you do? Did he change his mind? Did you come to terms with it?

Any thoughts welcome x

HP sauce, I also think he should when it comes down to it - so if he really, really doesn't want to of course no man should have to have a baby. BUT there is a difference in the quality of what the person is being asked to do. And in view of that I think it is different if the person who will carry the baby and give birth wants it, from if the one who won't wants it.

It's not man/woman think in fact - in a gay relationship I can imagine if a woman wanted another baby and she would carry it, that would be more arguable than if the partner who wouldn't carry it put pressure on her. IYSWIM.

I'm eldest of 6! Dh of 2.

I'd have loved a large family, but I really didn't cope with pregnancy well. We had 2 and were happy, we had dd2 due to a mirena failure (it was hard, we had 3 surgical procedures in pg and an air-ambulance out to give birth.

There's nothing we regret about (now) 9 yo dd2. But it wasn't easy!

We have 2, now teens. I've wanted another for at least a decade! DP wouldn't consider it. Then at Christmas I got PG. it was not right from the beginning, (turned out to be MC ectopic) and DP was incredibly supportive. EVERYONE who knew was great and the Dcs were thrilled. DP was always afraid that people would be negative about us having 3. He now sees how great everyone was and how happy the PG made me, and has agreed to try again.

I've been reading through all of your comments and there have been some very valid and well thought out points made which have given me a lot to think about. DH has agreed to another but its a bittersweet 'victory' as he says his desire to make me happy is stronger than his desire not to have a 3rd which makes me feel awful and just shows what a truly lovely man he is.

We've had unprotected a few times and now I'm starting to think maybe we shouldn't as it doesn't feel right with him not being onboard for the right reasons. I feel selfish. I should appreciate the 2 dc we have and maybe as Tea suggested, get a pet instead? He's allergic to, and has no time for pets having never been brought up with them and being at work all day it wouldn't be fair on the animal I feel.

I really don't know the answer, maybe there isn't, just make a decision and get on with it cos we will be fine whatever we decide I feel, its whether I have to adjust my future vision or he does.

Dh didn't want any more, I desperately wanted a third. He realised how much it meant to me and started to come around to the idea. Now she is here he is very pleased to be a dad again.