Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

second miscarriage

16 replies

Hopingforagirl · 12/03/2013 15:10

Hello everyone,

I'm new here, just sat at home after coming out of hospital following my second miscarriage under 12 weeks, all still very raw and I'm still sore....Just feeling down and been doing some reading on the web, I was wondering if there are other women on here who have had two early miscarriages and gone on to have a healthy baby next time around?
I don't know of anyone to talk to in real life...Thank you.

OP posts:

Josie314 · 12/03/2013 15:22

First off I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a miscarriage followed by an ectopic pregnancy, and now have a healthy 9 month old dd after a "boringly normal" pregnancy (according to my doctor).

Good luck with your next try!

Carolra · 12/03/2013 15:30

Hi Hoping, so sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time, I can't imagine what you must be going through, but I hope you are getting lots of love and support. My best friend had 2 early miscarriages (9 and 7 weeks) and went on to have a wonderful daughter and she's currently expecting baby number 2, concieved in the first month of trying. So it is absolutely possible and you should not give up hope.

Be really kind to yourself in the next few weeks xxx

MammaCici · 12/03/2013 15:38

I am in week 33 of pregnancy after two m/cs last year. I also have a 2.5 year old.

I am very sorry for your losses. I remember how empty it made me feel, wondering if I could have a successful pregnancy again.

My sister had 3 m/cs before going on to have 3 healthy children.

Good luck. I wish you a healthy pregnancy next time. xxx

specialknickers · 12/03/2013 16:01

Yes, I do! I have a friend who had 3 miscarriages and then a perfectly healthy gorgeous little boy.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I had two miscarriages myself last year, I know how hard it is. I'm now nearly 6 months pregnant (after being told I had a 50/50 chance of another miscarriage due to my age and medical history) and all is great so far. Miniknickers is kicking away at one of my internal organs as I type.

Sending you

starsthatshine · 12/03/2013 16:03

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am nearly 35wk pregnant after a mc at 8wks & mc at 6wks. I also have a 3yr old. Be kind to yourself x

PaulineFossil · 12/03/2013 16:24

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It's just awful. But yes, I've had 3 early mcs and am sitting here next to my gorgeous stroppy 2 yr old and pg with dc2. Be kind to yourself now and I really hope it all works out for you in the future.

Original poster

Hopingforagirl · 12/03/2013 16:36

Thank you everyone for some positive messages. All the women I know of having babies/just had them generally have no problems, that I've heard of. I'm in my early thirties and my younger sister is four months pregnant with her first :(
I was quite reserved the first time I was pregnant but this time I had so many plans, now I'm back to the start, feeling much older.
And very anxious about trying again.

OP posts:

redbunnyfruitcake · 12/03/2013 22:10

Hi Hoping, I had a miscarriage before DD, 3 after and am now 17 weeks with an unexpected pregnancy that occurred the next month after my last miscarriage. I am proof that anything can happen. Take heart, miracles happen every day. You will know when you are ready to try again and you will also know when to stop if needs be. Good luck.

Geekster · 12/03/2013 22:17

Hi Hoping, sorry you are going through this horrible time. We had six miscarriages before having our daughter who has just turned one. So it is very possible to have children after miscarriage. Not that I'm saying you are going to have anymore miscarriages. Take care of yourself and the best of luck for the future x

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy · 12/03/2013 22:22

I'm sorry you've been through this.

Miscarriage is really, really common - which isn't to take away one bit from the pain and the cruelty of it when it does happen. I've had four. I miscarried my first pregnancy then had dc1, then had two more miscarriages then dc2, then a longish gap where we weren't ttc and then an unexpected pregnancy last year which I miscarried. Now ttc again.

It may very well be that you have 'just' (ha) had bad luck (IIRC the chances of having two consecutive mcs without cause are more than double those of having three). However, even though guidelines are usually only to refer for tests after three consecutive mcs, you might want to ask your GP now if he or she will refer you for blood tests at least, especially if you are over 35. My gynaecologist ordered tests after my last mc due to my history and we have found I have Factor V Leiden, which might well have had a hand in the mcs.

Even after two consecutive mcs, the odds that the next pg will work out, even without intervention, are still very much in your favour, so that might help you take heart.

Good luck. I know how grim it is.

DewDr0p · 12/03/2013 22:27

Hopeful I'm so sorry for your losses.

I had 2 early mcs in a year and then had 3 successful pregnancies in the following 3 years. I remember feeling very scared that it would never happen for me but statistics are still on your side - you are 4 times more likely to have a happy outcome next time than not. Hang on in there.

My dcs are now 8, 6 and 5.

SillyCalamari · 12/03/2013 22:48

I'm sorry and I understand what you're going through.
You can just be very unlucky, unfortunately miscarriage is so common, but of course that doesn't stop you hurting inside.
I had 3 early miscarriages before having my daughter 6 months ago at the age of 41.
Hang on in there... good luck

Original poster

Hopingforagirl · 13/03/2013 08:26

Thank you again for more messages. It must take so much strength to keep going through miscarriage after miscarriage, i'm not ready to give up yet, but have a complete fear of the inside of the scan room at the hospital - I think scans are the absolutely worst bit, even worse than deciding how to deal with the miscarriage. I've had five scans now over two early pregnancies and dread looking at the 'poker' faces, even though I know everyone is just doing their job and trying to be professional....

OP posts:

Shellywelly1973 · 13/03/2013 12:44

Hi Hoping.

So sorry your going through this again...

2 weeks ago i had a MMC at 12 weeks. Ive never had a mc & very little knowledge of mc.

Its incredibly difficult, honestly one of the most difficult times I've ever been through.

If you look in the Body&Soul section, there is a section on miscarriage. Honestly without the amazing support&advice i recieved, i would have gone mad. In RL i had no support or advice after the scan, they are lovely over there!

Take care of yourself...

PaulineFossil · 13/03/2013 15:03

Hi Hoping,
I have the same fear of the scan rooms. I don't think it'll ever go away but for my 12wk scan with this pregnancy I ended up having to go into the same room with the same sonographer who had told me that my first baby had died. When she introduced herself I said that we had met before and explained. She said that she had been able to see from my face when she called me that she had given me bad news in the past and she was absolutely wonderful. I felt she took far more care of me than any of the previous scans I'd had (and I'd clocked up another 9 by then!) so I really recommend just telling them how you're feeling in the future - wish I had - the fear is entirely natural and they will understand.

MrsMillions · 15/03/2013 18:38

I'm 23 weeks with my first baby after 2 miscarriages, all seems to be going well this time and I am now able to enjoy it. Hang in there, you will get there.

Just before we got this BFP, a friend announced her pregnancy that whilst planned clearly happened in month 1, and we were coming up to the 1 year anniversary of the first mc, so I felt very low and can empathise with the situation with your younger sister. The early weeks of this pg were then hard after what had happened before, but when the nausea kicked in around 7 weeks I began to be reassured, and by the time we went for our 12 week scan we both felt optimistic. In our case it helped that all the scans during our MCs had been at EPAU whereas the 12-wk was the antenatal clinic, might this be the case for you in future? DH really hated hospitals even before the MCs (maybe due to sick relatives) but is finding it easier now.

In the meantime look after yourself and your DH. If you can plan a holiday to get away from it all I really recommend it. My second mc was in late July, we went on a relaxing holiday in September where we enjoyed dtd for the fun of it (being surrounded by honeymooners might have inspired us ...and 50 Shades!), got us both in a better state of mind and health and we got our BFP in November (so conceived in October once home). Obviously can't guarantee this will work for everyone but the physical and psychological benefits for us both were great.

Flip