Sensitive subject but really need some advice on surgical abortion

[Summer20]

Hi, I posted previously explaining I've just found out I'm pregnant and due to a number of reasons (financial problems, would need bigger house, coming to the end of a degree) I have come to the hard decision of having a termination. I have decided to go private through BPAs and have my consultation on Thursday, where I will be 8 weeks, I'm am thinking of having a surgical procedure under local anesthetic however after reading horror stories I am now really scared and confused, just wanted a bit of advice really? And experiences of the surgical procedure and how painful they are? Sorry again about sensitive subject.

I've no idea about this but I had tablets when I was 16 (so 21 years ago!) and it was awful, very painful and awful to deal with too as you see it all. Having my abortion screwed me up for years and probably wasn't helped by the visual stuff to deal with. I had an ERPC following a miscarriage years laters and this was terribly sad but much easier to deal with and I guess is similar to what you want to have.

I have had three ERPCs under GA - which I imagine to be fairly similar to what you will be going through, although I have never had a termination - and I would not have liked to have them under local. If you are able to be collected by someone, i.e. don't have to drive home, I would ask for GA.

It is over quickly and for me, the physical recovery was quick and straightforward.

I'm sorry you have this to deal with.

I also had an ERPC following a miscarriage so essentially the same procedure as a termination. I had it under general. I could not have contemplated having it done under local as I would have been in pieces. If you think you will be scared during the procedure then perhaps general is the way forward. However, the local anaesthetic would mean that you would not feel pain at the time. You'll have a week or so of bleeding afterwards and the first day afterwards the period type cramps might be quite painful - you'll need to take nurofen or cocodamol but it shouldn't be agonising.

I'm afraid I found the tablets much more traumatic. I had to spend the day in the hospital sitting on a commode with awful cramps just waiting to pass the remains of the pregnancy. I was 9 weeks at the time. Seeing and feeling it all come out was not nice and the pain was bad too although the hospital could have given me something more useful than gas and air I suppose. If I am ever in that position again I'd expect I would go surgical every time.

Thanks for all your advice, unfortunately I can't have general as I have to drive home and look after my daughter later on in the day as my partner works away and to be honest we can't afford for him to take time off work at the moment.

Does anyone know how painful it is with local? I'm just so scared and starting to get anxious about the whole thing, thanks

Will email you with my experience if you pm me your email address - I'd rather not post about it here, sorry xxx

I had general, and think that would be best if at all possible. Could you get a cab home?

I can't imagine driving would be great, even with the local, as you might be feeling very mixed up. Is there no way you can get a friend/family to help out with looking after your daughter?

Could you not have an early medical instead? I thought they were a bit kinder on your body and could be done under 9 weeks.

I know you are looking for experiences with surgical, but just wanted to post to say I had a medical abortion at 8 weeks & it was very straightforward. I have no regrets.

Whatever procedure you have, you will not be able to drive home and you probably won't feel up to looking after your daughter either. Even if it is inconvenient, i think your partner should take some time off. Even if you are happy about your choice and know it is the right thing, it isn't an easy thing to go through while it is happening. You will be feeling a bit physically rubbish for a couple of days afterwards and may need a bit of support. I don't think the hospital will allow you to drive yourself home.

Thanks for all your answers, starting to think your right I shouldn't really drive, especially as the clinic is an hour away! Don't think I really thought it through properly, mite just see about getting a medical as the clinic near me does so early medical procedures. I know it sounds awful but starting to think it will be a relief (and upsetting) when it's all over.

Even with the medical I would recommend somebody else driving you to and from the clinic. What if the pessary worked really fast on you and you started the contractions and passing the clots while driving the car? It isn't safe.

Hi Summer20, I would strongly advise you to have the procedure under general. It's not just the practicalities like getting there and home again you need to consider but also your emotional self. If you go under a general you will be 'asleep' whilst everything happens, if you're under a local you will be able to hear everything. Hope all goes well for you x

I know this isn't maybe what you want to hear but... I had a termination at 11 weeks. Words cannot express how much emotional (huge sense of loss) and psychological damage this caused me not just in the short term but years on too. It's a huge decision, I know lots of people who have had terminations and regretted it for the rest of their lives. I don't know of anyone who regretted having kids, despite them not being in the financial position to raise a child.

It sounds like you have made your decision and I 100% respect that. I just want you to realise that no matter how prepared you are for this, nothing quite prepares for the live after it. Best of luck x

I would very strongly advise against thinking of driving/looking after others. I have helped 2 friends who had terminations under GA at about your stage. They were both very wobbly, disorientated and sore for the whole day (after early morning procedures) - one fainted when I was helping her out of the taxi at her flat. They both had sore cramps, bleeding and felt rather poorly for a number of days after. It's not an easy thing to decide to do, but I would suggest you really need someone to look after YOU for at least 24 hours after. It is surgery and it does have physical (never mind the psychological) repercussions. Take care, good luck x

I had a medical abortion many years ago and they were pretty insistent on having someone there to collect me, just incase.

I didn't feel any pain or anything, just a bit woozy but then the nurse I'd give me an unnamed painkiller before inserting the pessary so it may well have been that. I just went home, comfort ate and got an early night after that. I bled heavily for the first 24 hours and then it was just like a normal period, i went to work the next day. It didn't traumatise me at all and I do not regret it in the slightest. I was in no position whatsoever to have a child. However I'm lucky in the sense that when needed, I can be very clinical and black & white about things.

That's just my experience though. Take care of yourself

I'm with Dannillion. The impact on my life would have been horrendous. I have no doubt of that now, and I had no doubt then. I genuinely believe the "rightness" of my decision, for me, helped me contextualise any feelings of remorse I may have had.

I had a medical under GA. No problems, beyond period type pains for a few hours.

No one wants to go through it OP, stay focused on what lies the other side and the best outcome for your family.

Good luck xx

Thanks for the messages, I will get a taxi to and from the clinic and arrange for my daughter to be looked after over night. Thanks plinkyplonks, I have made me decision, however I am expecting to feel emotional afterwards for a good while, especially as I a, already an emotional person.
Thanks Dannilion it's nice to hear an experience that isn't so negative, if I have the medical I plan to go home and get plenty of rest, I feel it is the right decision for me and my daughter at this moment in time.

Summer has your GP offered you any counselling? It might be a comfort to talk it through afterwards.

I am going through bpas, I am due my consultation on Thursday where I am sure they will offer me the counselling, which if I feel I need it after I will deffinatly have it

Hi Summer I had the tablets as was under 10 weeks and it was all straight forward. The pain didn't start until I took the second tablet so it would be after taking the second one I would be arranging over night care for your DD. After taking the first one l was left feeling quite numb, especially as my reasons for having a termination were similar sounding to yours and it was one of practicalities rather than because I didn't want a baby, but I was not in pain. You will definitely need someone to drive you back so a taxi is a good choice if your partner can't be there, although for emotional reasons I would recommend him to be with you, it's not something I would like you face alone. I was in a lot of pain after the second tablet and the clinic told me to go home, I'd been home about 10 minutes when i had the feeling of needing to bear down, I passed the clot straight into the toilet. It was all a bit surreal and I just went through the motions. The night I took the second tablet I found out my auntie was pregnant, we share the same birthday and it appears we conceived around the same time. My beautiful cousin Is a constant reminder that I should have a 7 year old by now but I don't regret the decision I made

I'm with KatAndKit all the way here - I too have had ERPCs for miscarriages plus I had one 'natural' miscarriage. Going under general was so much better for me - not a pleasant waiting room experience but it's all taken care of for you and I didn't have any pain afterwards. A far cry from the trauma and bloodbath of the so-called 'natural way'.
Good luck.

Thanks for all your advice I've decided to get it done under local, as not many places near me do general so it would mean a lot of travelling which I'm sure I won't feel up too.