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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

12 week scan shows empty sac - feeling numb

24 replies

gonnabeamum · 07/03/2013 18:38

hi. have had no bleeding, cramps or anything to suggest that there was a problem - my stomach had even started expanding! got to get another scan next week to "just make sure" - we are absolutely gutted. im also feeling a bit scared about what happens next. tablets have been briefly mentioned... also, so many people seem to know about my pregnancy - just dont know how to deal with this (this was my first pregnancy)

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gloti · 07/03/2013 18:42

oh hun I'm very sorry to hear that... I don't have any advice for you really but just wanted to show support. big hugs xxx

Cavort · 07/03/2013 18:42

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I'm afriad I can't offer any advice but there's a MMC thread on here which others have said they found to be really supportive xxx

Fairy130389 · 07/03/2013 18:43

Ahh hun I am so so sorry, I don't know what to say, just didn't want to read and run. I'm not sure about the process but I'm sure somebody more knowledgable will be along soon... in the meantime, take it easy and take support from those around you, I'm sure all those that know will be supportive.

I'm so sorry.

gillian88 · 07/03/2013 18:44

I've been here before, it's called blighted ovum, and it's heartbreaking. Big hugs xo

wishfulthinking1 · 07/03/2013 18:46

I'm so sorry- look after yourself x

schobe · 07/03/2013 18:51

Oh I'm so sorry, I've had similar and it is devastating.

Give yourself time, don't be hard on yourself. Insist that the health care professionals explain your options to you very clearly and then take all the time you need to make a decision - don't let anyone imply that you should choose to do x, y or z. It's completely up to you. I was very clear I wanted a surgical procedure, but each of us is very different and you will choose what feels right for you.

I would take some time off work if you can. It's very distressing and you deserve some time to think and rest and talk about things with your partner/family/friends.

Original poster

gonnabeamum · 07/03/2013 18:51

thanks for the messages - this wasnt a planned pregnancy but it doesnt make it hurt any less - we quickly got used to the idea of being parents. it was just so unexpected. x

OP posts:

Fakebook · 07/03/2013 19:25

I'm really sorry for your loss. I had two missed miscarriages and its the most painful type of miscarriage IMO.

Could you ask a friend or family member to let everyone know so you won't have to do it yourself?

I know it all sounds very daunting, do you know or have any information about the options you have?

hokeycakey · 07/03/2013 20:19

I'm so sorry for your loss experienced the same at 12 week scan it is so unfair & heartbreaking to find out like that

I was offered an ERPC in hospital after the 2nd scan which was pretty quick and painless psychologically though it is hard, sending thoughts and prayers so sorry you are going through this

Original poster

gonnabeamum · 07/03/2013 20:35

Havent been given a huge amount of info really, it more a case of do a 2nd scan and take it from there - ive actually gained a lot more info via google. x

OP posts:

Fakebook · 07/03/2013 20:58

Gonnabe, that's crap. They should have talked through everything with you. I received a leaflet like this when I miscarried. You may find it quite helpful and informative.

The miscarriage association website is really good and supportive too.

Geekster · 07/03/2013 21:05

Sorry for your loss.

I think the limbo that you are in at the moment is almost the worst part.

I had a missed miscarriage with with one of my miscarriages and I had a ERPC. It was pretty much painless from a physical point of view and quickly over with. I have also experienced natural miscarriage which was harder physically from pain and bleeding point of view. Mentally both sorts were equally hard.

It's horrible having to tell everyone but at least they know so can be understanding.

I hope you get sorted out soon and give yourself lots of time to grieve and don't feel you have to just get over it, you don't it takes time.

Take care x

monsterchild · 07/03/2013 21:10

Op, I'm sorry to hear that. the same thing happened to my first pregnancy. It was really hard.

However, I am writing this with my 9 week old perfect-in-every-way son asleep on my lap, so don't think it means more than that this ovum wasn't viable.

Damash12 · 07/03/2013 22:09

Hi just wanted to send hugs, having had 3 miscarriages and the last one like this without any bleeding I can truly relate to how sad and low you feel right now. It is soo devastating and I don't think enough support is out there, all I ever seemed too hear was how common it was and 1 in 4 ends in mc. That didn't make if easier for me, I wanted my baby and for me once I saw my blue line on the test I already imagined the day I'd hold my dc. I now have a 4.5 year old and a 7 week old boys. Don't give up hope and although I doubt you are thinking along these lines right now and need time to heal first but you are highly fertile for the next 6 months. My last miscarriage was oct 11 and I was pg by April on second attempt! Good luck and please be kind to yourself.

mama04 · 07/03/2013 22:13

No words hunny just hugs big squeezy hugs xxx

2kidsintow · 07/03/2013 22:22

I waited to share the news with my first pg until I was 12 weeks. Then at 13 weeks I started bleeding and it was a missed miscarriage.

I (personally) think that this was easier for me to deal with than 'proper' mc as in my head I was able to deal with it along the lines of "I was pregnant, and now I'm not" rather than "I've lost a baby".

I know other people find it equally difficult though.

If they offer a D&C then I recommend accepting. I was given the choice the first time around and it took months for everything to get back to normal. The next 2 MCs I had, I took the D&C option and everything got back to normal far more quickly (and less painfully actually).

I hope things are handled well for you by the hosptial (we were shuffled off to the nurses staffroom as they had no-where else to put us - and on another occasion was sent up to the prenatal ward with all the other pregnant ladies as the ward I needed was closed for the night).

We had lots of tests due to having 3x mc, but there was nothing wrong. And I'm currently enjoying the peace and quiet as my 2 healthy DDs are in bed.

MrsHoolie · 08/03/2013 00:34

Hello. I had a similar experience,although discovered at 9 weeks. I had a tiny blob of blood and then a scan.
There was a sac but it was empty.
I had am ERPC which was a choice I made rather than have tablets as I wanted it over ASAP.
The OP was straightforward and I felt fine physically. It took me 6 weeks to have a period and then we started ttc again.
I know it's a common thing to happen but it's a shock when it happens to you and your body. Plus I found it made me alot more anxious when I got pregnant again (although all was fine that time).
The miscarriage association is apparently good for support.

Original poster

gonnabeamum · 08/03/2013 13:29

its encouraging to hear that im not alone with this - being in limbo def doesnt help either. i appreciate all the comments tho'. my fiance has taken the day off work so that i dont spend all day by myself - dont really feel like talking to anyone else or leaving the house either. what scares me now tho is what happens next, i kinda want to get it all over with instead of waiting for another scan which is only confirming what i already know. it feels like nature has just played a really cruel practical joke on me. thanx again for the comments - i know it will get easier and i do have plenty of support around me for when i want it. xx

OP posts:

IrnBruTheNoo · 08/03/2013 13:42

Sorry to hear of your pregnancy loss. I had this happen to me in 2009. Heartbreaking to chat to others around the same stage as yourself and then be told by sonographer than 'something's wrong'.

Please feel free to talk to others who've been there. We're all here to support each other.

EuroShaggleton · 08/03/2013 14:11

Sorry to hear this gonna. I had it confirmed yesterday that our little bean has stopped growing and there is no heartbeat so I am waiting to miscarry too. This was a much wanted IVF pregnancy after more than 2 years of ttc and we are both absolutely gutted.

I've found the miscarriage boards on MN to be enormously supportive and informative (under the Body and Soul section). The miscarriage section on a website called Fertility Friends is also worth a look (the website is aimed at folks struggling with fertility issues but an mc is an mc, however the pregnancy was achieved so it might be useful reading). It's awful that so many people have been through experiences similar to yours or mine, but it does mean there is a lot of info and support out there.

I am hoping to mc naturally as after all the prodding and poking of fertility treatment I have no desire to see the inside of a hospital for a while, but from what I have read the majority of people who have gone for the surgical option seem to have had a positive experience (well, as positive as this can be), with little pain and things getting back to normal pretty quickly.

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 08/03/2013 14:28

So sorry for your loss Gonnabe, and yours too Euro.

Gonnabe - I had this happen to me in September although at 8 weeks. I was scanned after I had a tiny amount of bleeding. I can't imagine how awful it feels to have no indication anything may be wrong and then to receive that news at the 12 week scan.

I had to wait 2 weeks for a second scan and I also found this the hardest time. I knew it was over and couldn't stand to wait. I just wanted it over physically so that I could start to move on. I felt that I couldn't even begin to move on emotionally until it was over physically. I found that these desperate feelings calmed down a bit after a few days and I began to accept that I would just have to wait for the 2 weeks for the second scan. After the 2nd scan, things moved quickly and I had the ERPC only 2 days later.

I had the ERPC because I didn't want to make my miscarriage any worse than it was already by having to go through bleeding and pain of natural or medically managed. Although I was a jibbering wreck before the ERPC, terrified that something would go wrong, I was fine after it, had no pain and barely any bleeding, and felt a sense of relief that it was over. I did go to see my GP a few days later because I felt a bit unwell and had a temperature and she put me on antibiotics out of an abundance of caution in case there was an infection. A swab test came back clear though so it was obviously just a bit of a bug because I was run down than anything connected with the ERPC.

I started my period 4 weeks to the day after the ERPC and fell pregnant the following month. I am now 16 weeks pregnant and everything is looking good so far, despite a couple of scares.

If I was in that situation again, I would have the ERPC again. I didn't want to put myself through a worse experience than I was already dealing with.

Sending the biggest hugs to you.

EuroShaggleton · 08/03/2013 14:51

For me, the waiting for the second scan was the worst bit. As the sac wasn't empty, there was some hope that what was there might grow, although it really didn't look good. So for that week, I was swinging between preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. I have actually found it much easier since the second scan confirmed that it is non-viable.

FoofFighter · 08/03/2013 17:35

Thinking of you all :(

Original poster

gonnabeamum · 08/03/2013 18:01

hi euro - sorry to hear you are currently going through this too - gonna have a little look at the other boards you suggested. xx

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