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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant after ttc-when to tell friends?

11 replies

spinamum · 03/05/2006 21:42

Need your wisdom everyone.

i'm pg (hooray) after ttc for about a year. Friends know i was ttc( cos i didn't expect it to take so long!!)Think everyone is feeling sorry for me and trying to encourage me it will be OK.

How would you feel if you were someone's support team and they told you after a few mths that actually they were pg all along.(i'm 6wks btw so tooo early to tell anyone really)

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Olipop · 03/05/2006 21:52

Firstly congratulations!!!
I would tell everyone straight away....I think you need the support. Own personal choice mind you but I told my family and close friends the minute the stick went blue!

cece · 03/05/2006 21:52

Congratulations

People will understand, a lot of people do not tell till after their 12 week scan, so it is not unusual to keep it a secret.

notasheep · 03/05/2006 21:54

Well Done you!

I would wait to after first scan too,shouldnt be a problem for anyone surely

kayzed · 03/05/2006 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobblehead · 04/05/2006 03:51

Same as Kayzed, I told the people I would have told if I had a mc, but if you didn't want to let anyone know until 12 weeks I think they should respect that and I'm sure they'll just be so happy for you they won't care.

Congratulations btw

Waswondering · 04/05/2006 06:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laura032004 · 04/05/2006 09:03

Same here - I told the people that I would need support from if I had a mc.

If I found out from a friend at 12w, I wouldn't think anything of it at all - it's quite common to keep things quiet until 12w, and I'm sure anybody with children already would completely understand.

I asked my parents and my MIL to keep the news completely to themselves, as I didn't want commiserations from their friends (mainly strangers to me) at some time in the future, if anything was to go wrong.

But I'm sure nothing will for you, so congratulations :) :)

schneebly · 04/05/2006 09:06

I would just be really happy for you and amazed that you could keep it secret - I coudn't! Congratulations BTW!

Flamesparrow · 04/05/2006 09:21

I was a telling those I would turn to for support if the worst happened kind of girl. But in answer to your question - I would completely understand not being told... When you have been trying for a long time the pregnancy is even more precious (that sounds wrong, but I know that I fall pregnant easily and so far have been blessed with no complications, and I do think I feel a bit too complacent about it at times) - it makes sense that you might want to wait.

Pinchypants · 04/05/2006 13:29

Spinamum, I'm with most of the others on this. We had been trying for 2 years when we finally conceived last November, and we didn't want to lie/omit this very important fact to close friends and family who had been so supportive. My mum had somehow cottoned onto which cycle day I was on so she was super-alert for me confirming whether I'd come on or not every month! (not recommended...)
Told best friends the day we did the test at five weeks, and the grandparents/aunts and uncles to be within a week when we next saw them face to face, and other close friends and family all knew by 10 weeks. Also based decision on who we would tell if it didn't work out, but we had been trying for so long by then that I had to stay convinced that it was meant to be and would all be fine, and of course it was. Lovely to have support in the early days when I felt like cack, as well, and not having to lie about alcohol/food limitations.
Pinchy x

Original poster

spinamum · 05/05/2006 17:14

Thanks everyone. It's been useful to get an outside perspective on this. this will hopefully be number two for us and we conceived really easily first time and now realise how lucky we were. we told parents,a very close (pg) friend and brothers and sisters (ours) at first line on the test. This time noboby knows. i've already decided i am going to tell my dad. For two reasons, firstly because i'm really excited and want him to know and secondly, we lost my mum during my first pg and i don't want to have to tell him i've had a m/c, without at least some shred of good news first. not sure if that makes any sense. i'm hoping the m/c conversation doesn't become an issue obviously.

the local friends who are on pg alert all the time in our group will just have to be told if i'm asked directly. If i manage to get to 12 wks without telling them, they'll be as surprised as i will be. I'm a bit of a chatterbox.

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