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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I am sooo sick and tired of people saying...

47 replies

emkana · 02/05/2006 20:09

..."oh my god you're huge"

What am I supposed to say to that???

Also always makes me wonder whether I should explain about having too much amniotic fluid and the implications of that...
but why would people be interested?

Honestly I'd love to go into hiding for the next five-ish weeks until this baby is born, with all the question marks over the baby's health I just can't stand the comments, or questions like "Are you getting excited?" etc.

Before somebody tells me off btw, I know people mean well etc., but it still doesn't make it easier for me.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

koshka1984 · 03/05/2006 14:03

You know... some people! We have a resident loony in my town, who is a regular in out town hospital mental unit. He came up to me in town, poked my belly and said "you are having a boy" and then stroked my tummy then walked off. I was so freaked out i waddled off and cried!

thing is i am having a boy....

MeAndMyBoy · 03/05/2006 14:13

Maybe practise a good Paddington Stare to put them off, or can you raise 1 eyebrow? No need to reply and they get the feeling they've been told off without you saying a word

Fingers crossed for the next 5 weeks for you.

morethan1 · 04/05/2006 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nome · 04/05/2006 10:11

I got the,'Gosh, you're huge!' quite a lot. I was enormous - my bump looked like Katie Holmes, but that didn't mean it was ok to say it. I found the reply of,'Gosh, you're rude!' was simple, easy to remember and made a couple of friends think more carefully about what they commented on. Inside, of course, I was wishing for willow's bricks...

biglips · 04/05/2006 10:17

i had that too as my work colleagues convinced i had a twin hiding in there as i was all baby till the last 3 weeks and started to get water rentention. Even the midwives were saying "its gonna be a BIG baby".. i used to think i dont really wanna know that!! as it was making me more nervous!

she was 9lb 1oz and didnt have a twin either

robin3 · 04/05/2006 10:28

I'm afraid that this is just the start of people making daft comments so my advice is start to block the negatives now...wait til you have the baby and people start to comment on the name, the size of your baby, breastfeeding v's bottles, cups v's bottles, potty training, weaning, waking sleeping babies, wait til they start to walk...they....

My brother came to see me three days after DS being born and first thing he said was 'God you look awful.' Cheers!

blobsmummy · 04/05/2006 10:50

emkana - I so sympathise with you - I hate being commented on. It is possible in the same day to be told that 'you're huge' and 'you're not very big are you?'

I've actually had the opposite prob to you - my bump isn't really big enough (though it certainly feels big to me with 5 weeks to go). But because I'm petite, I keep getting told that I'll never carry to full term, and there's NO WAY that I'll have a natural birth (why does everyone consider themselves an expert in childbirth all of a sudden?!)

MIL told me last night that she thinks I look so much better now I have a fatter face - was gobsmacked !!!!!!!!

LilacBump · 04/05/2006 10:58

i've had

"how long to go?" "5 weeks" "oh you look about due to me!"

"not long now!" about 50 times a day

"gosh, that's a big belly. do you know what it is?" "a boy" "oh i thought boy bumps were supposed to be smaller!"

and neverending repeats of birth stories. arggghh! one lady at DD's school has told me the story of her kids being born at least 10 times already, with all the disgusting details. and i just smile.

Firefox · 04/05/2006 11:24

I can completely empathise too. I can never understand why other people think that it is perfectly OK to make these kind of rude comments. Also being pg again, gets comments such as "OMG - I remember you were so huge last time" etc. Sadly I tend more thoughtless comments like these made instead of nice ones saying how wonderful I look. It makes me livid when I get rude comments or have people trying to touch my bump.

Original poster

emkana · 04/05/2006 20:01

Today I had
"You're sure you're not having twins?"
"How long to go? Five weeks? Nooooooooooo"
In M&S: "Oh you look as if you might go into labour now, please don't, I don't do labour"

and they all think they're being so f*ing witty and clever...

I just give a very VERY weak smile now and don't say a thing

OP posts:

MerlinsBeard · 04/05/2006 20:04

tell them ur not pregant just fat and that their size could do with alook at

I did at around the same time. or scowl and walk away

SoupDragon · 04/05/2006 20:05

Or clutch your bump and shreik "OH MY GOD I THINK MY WATERS HAVE GONE!"

frumpygrumpy · 04/05/2006 20:10

I sympathise hugely. I had that from a particular 'friend' and it was quite hurtful. Thing was I was smaller (with DTs) than I had been with DD. Its so rude of people to think they have a right to comment at all. I wish they'd try "hi, how's things?" if they don't know what else to say. Good luck honey and I think you look just fab xx.

SenoraPostrophe · 04/05/2006 20:15

em, I don't mean to belittle your feelings about it, but this thread has made me realise that actually I find commenst like "blimey, you're big" really refreshing. and I suppose it's probably a relief in some way for the people saying it.

I think it's very sad actually that weight is such a touchy subject for so many people (don't worry - I dohave other hang ups and I'm not usually unnaturally skinny - it's just a thing I've missed out on).

SenoraPostrophe · 04/05/2006 20:16

anyway sorry - was just posting random thoughts there. isn't pregnancy scary/crap/uncomfortable?

Riddo · 04/05/2006 20:26

I had "arn't you big?" and "arn't you small" from two people in town within 5 minutes of each other. People have no idea how hurtful it is to have your size commented on. I really empathise Emkana. Mine were both 10 days late and the rudest thing I said (although I thought many more) was when asked "Haven't you had it yet, then?". I said "Yes, I have, this is a cushion". It was remarkably effective - he hasn't spoken to me since - 6 years later!

lovecloud · 04/05/2006 20:28

I was on Sainsburys today and some young cashier said to me...

"oh my god, your massive, is there one or two in there?" she said it so seriously.

I let her off because of her age, lucky im not the sensitive type!

Tommy · 04/05/2006 20:45

or you could just get a t shirt printed with "I'm not pregnant - I'm just really fat - what are you going to say about that?"

elizabuff · 04/05/2006 20:46

I don't find the comments hurtful (although used to being big and dealing with everybody feeling they have a right to comment) but it is very, very strange how some people just seem to think that I actually want to talk to them about my baby. Normally the Asdas cashier will just say 'That's seventy-two pounds and twelve pence please,' not 'How long have you got left?' with a patronising (supposedly maternal) smile. I've had all sorts of responses, from the shocked 'oh really? 6 weeks?' (actually more like 4 now but have been getting the raised eyebrows and 'god, you're huge already!' for about the last 8 weeks) to 'Well, it'll fly dear.' Funny, the last thing time seems to be doing at the moment is flying. Can't wait for this baby to stop kicking the crap out of my ribs but it's slower than waiting for Christmas when you're 6!

Also had a waitress come up to me the other day when at a meal with lots of other people, and say loudly 'Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but are you having twins?' I was gobsmacked, and only managed a jolly smile and 'Oh no, just the one.' Later wished I could have come up with something far more cutting, along the lines of 'Well why are you being rude then?'

Ah well, suppose we must grin and bear it.

diddle · 05/05/2006 08:01

emkana - sounds like you're living my life. I have 5 wks to go now too, and for the last ten weeks at least people have commented on my size. even people who i see every day in the school playground. When they say it i very sarcastically say "thanks" what also annoys me is when they don't say it directly they say things like "you're looking "swell"
Noody can believe i have 5 wks to go and i'm going to get bigger. if someone else suggests i'm having twins i'm going to brain them.
I know if i was getting comments like that and had concerns with the pregnancy i'd tell them exactly what i thought.
I love being pregnant and i'm very proud of my bump, but it does worry me when people jokingly tell me that i'm going to have a ten pounder.

Tell them to sod off. and if you really don't mind what they think about you, tell them that at least you have a reason for it.

aprilgirl1 · 05/05/2006 16:09

im sick of getting you look small for being 6 1/2 months...... aghhhhhhh seriously pees me off so much so i went to the midwife and asked ifi was small for how far in i was, she measured me and my bump was 1/2 cm bigger than it 'should be' so there!!
some people have even said well youve put the weight on round your face n bum quite a bit... wtf!! why cant people just leave us pregnant ladies to it as if there werent enough things to have to worry about to have to worry if the size of your bump is to other peoples approvals ...phew glad i got that off my chest xx

BigHotMama · 05/05/2006 16:44

Well I seem to get the rudest comments off my own parents, like 'your massive' or 'you wont go the 9 months', 'it'll be hard to shift the weight afterwards'. Everyone else says I'm blooming and glowing and that being pregnant really 'suits' me. Had the 'twins' thing mentioned too and I'm only 6 months! Luckily I'm quite laid back and comments like that dont really hurt me at all, in fact I'm sure I was sticking my belly out at 5 weeks in hope somebody would notice so am lapping the attention to be honest! It will probably be a different story after the bab is born as people will prebably still think I'm pg which will p* me off! Wont be leaving the house for months ha!

If people are rude to you and it upsets you, have a peck back at them see how they like it, or just an evil stare should do the trick! Why waste your breath and energy on losers like that! They are probably jealous!

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