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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

A troubled pregnant smoker

43 replies

Ashling · 02/05/2006 11:51

I immediately stopped smoking when I found out I was pregnant at 11 wks with no difficulty. I always knew I would never smoke if I was pregnant. I am now 27 weeks and have been sneakily smoking cigarettes at home for the last couple of weeks. The guilt is killing me and I lay awake at night worrying about what I may be doing to my baby but even that'doesn't seem to be enough to stop me. I know I am a fool and I feel like the only fool in the world but some words of wisdom, advice or similar experiences would be of help to me at this stage I am desperate.

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BigHotMama · 04/05/2006 09:27

Hi all, I was never an everyday smoker but could binge-smoke 20-30 a night if out with friends and had started having the sly two or three at work. I packed in as soon as I found out I was pg at 5 weeks and tbh dont think I'll ever smoke again as I feel so much healthier and my skin is glowing. Hope you can find a way because you will feel so much better in the long run for it and you can give your baby a good start in life. Good Luck x

nailpolish · 04/05/2006 09:29

i fyou are pg and desperate to give up smoking why not use patches? they are not really recommended when pg but they are surely better than fags

a pg friend of mine i am sure asked her dr if it was ok as she was having a nightmare cold turkey, and he agreed it was sort of ok

i think she bought the lowest strength and cut them in half, used them for a few weeks and then was off for good

TheBlonde · 04/05/2006 09:53

Ashling, I've not read the whole thread but you can ask to see a smoking-cessation midwife and they will provide extra support in your battle with the fags

Dunnyjo · 04/05/2006 10:31

hello Ashling
your not the only one smoking in pregnancy. I am 36wks and i have smoked through it the whole time. I started to read the alan carr stop smoking book but then my mum died suddenly and i have not tried since. I have also drank in this pregancy the guilt is awful but i am still tring to come to terms with what has happened. I have some very bad days and others which i seem to cope with better. I did not touch alcohol with ds but i still smoked. He was 7lb 7oz and is very healthy but i am petrified with this baby as i know i have not had a good pregnancy and all the emotional stress has left me as weak as anything. My diet ahs not been great either i could not bring myself to eat anything for a few wks i was in such shock.
With the advice given try the alan carr book and a hypmotist and seek as much help as you can.
Your not a bad person, it is hard to give up.
Wish you all the best x x

LilacHamster · 04/05/2006 10:43

I had an absolutely tortured childhood because of my mother being a heavy smoker. I was always ill with chest infections and coughs. I was miserable all the time. Anyone who smokes, please quit before it is too late as it is a real possibility your child could be permanently damaged. I lived with passive smoke for 20 years and I honestly can say that I equate it with child abuse because of how I suffered. My mother would not stop smoking around me even though I asked her to go outside if she could not stop. She could see how ill I was from it but all she cared about was her addiction. I am still to this day very allergic to cigarette smoke but at least now I can make the choice to always avoid it. I get breathless a lot and cough more than most non-smokers even now, I think I probably have slight asthma or something similar from all the passive smoking. I don't think my lungs will ever be right.

girleighmummy · 04/05/2006 19:30

I would just like to empathise with you Ashling, I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks, I built myself up for a few days and stopped completely, about three weeks after that I went out for a works party, I had one and then another and another and another, then I bought some(whilst thinking one night won't matter) my friend Vickey who is also pg did the same thing, when we got to work the next morning, instead if doing the sensible thing and binning the remainders, we decided to finish our packet. I ahve been buying 10 every 2 days since, I am now 17 weeks and sometimes I cry at night when I think about how irresponsible I am being!!
Don't think you are alone, I ahve read books, tried patches but unless you really REALLY want to do it darling it doesnt work, give yourself a break, take some time out and think about why you want to stop, I have picked Monday 8th to stop again. Wish me luck and good luck to you darling!!! (sorry it was so long)

notasheep · 04/05/2006 19:38

Charlie Cat is the Mumsnet guru on support for anyne trying to quit

purpleduck · 05/05/2006 12:57

Hi! Anyone try hypnotherapy? It has the added bonus of being sooo relaxing, and a good therapist can teach you self hypnosis (lovely and calming!!). The bsch website has lots of good therapists

jamiesoldier · 05/05/2006 16:15

Hi, I just caught your message and I wanted to say that I was smoking when I was pregnant with my first child 2+ years ago. I did manage to cut down - I was still working so only smoked at work in breaks, not once I'd left for the day. I managed to get it down to 3 a day from 20 over a period of months. When I eventually left work about 6 weeks before I was due, the fact that I was no longer smoking at home and hadn't been for months meant that I hardly thought about cigarettes because they were a "work" thing and I'd left all that behind.

I'd just like to say, yes, there are all sorts of statistics about what harm you do the baby and maybe they're true. However, my midwife at the time promised to put me in touch with an NHS help quit smoking in pregnancy woman - she never contacted me - not quite so urgent to stop as you might think eh?

Anyway, to cut a long story short, all ended happily for me. I had a bouncing 10lb 5oz boy (no underweight baby for me - God knows how big he would have been if I had stopped smoking all the way through!)so if you are still smoking a bit, try not to beat yourself up about it - the stress involved in trying to stop is probably far worse for your baby than the nicotine.

Good luck!

beckymatt · 07/05/2006 21:34

Hi im 20 weeks and i gave up completely for 3months, just had 1 evry few weeks or so, ive now gone back to buying 10 every few days, my baby kicks well but i ripped my fags in half earlier and chucked erm in the bin after reading this

Granard · 08/05/2006 14:16

Hi Ashling, I was a 40 a day smoker until I got pregnant but even when I realised I was expecting, I just couldn't stop. So I went to a hypnotist and came out of his office a non-smoker after a 40 minute session and I never had any cravings. The hyponotist had advised that I wouldn't have cravings as such but that there would be 40 times in the day when I might feel that something was missing. That was true to a certain degree but I've never smoked since. The main advantage of hypnosis is that you come out with very little memory of smoking and certainly, for me, with no memory of how much I enjoyed it (and I loved smoking!). Very quickly I was at the point where I thought people who smoked looked stupid and were to be pitied. Also, quitting with hypnosis limits the risk of lapses in the future due to a stressful situation. Previously if I was off cigarettes for any period of time, I would immeidately reach for one if I was stressed. This doesn't happy with hypnosis as the memory of cigarettes has been dulled. It might be worth considering.

PurpleLostPrincess · 10/10/2006 10:52

I smoked all the way through my first pregnancy (I was only 16 at the time) but managed to give up with my 2nd, kind of - I had one every couple of days or so... I'm now pregnant again and I am determined to give up but my hubby is still smoking. We have made the house smoke free except for the office (his room!) but I keep sneaking in there as I know he has got fags. It may only be 5 a day or less but I'm feeling really guilty. I really want to give up - you have all given me inspiration so thank you to everybody!

QueenQuootieSpookypieBee · 10/10/2006 10:58

get DH to give up aswell... even after pregnancy, smoke can affect babies, even from clothes and breath. Great your giving up though!

Creena · 10/10/2006 11:22

Hello Ashling. I'm not currently a smoker (have smoked lightly in the past but found it easy to give up) but I can add to the Allen Carr recommendations. I used to work with someone who was a committed and dedicated smoker. He absolutely loved smoking. So much so that he would set his alarm clock to go off in the middle of the night just so he could have a cigarette! He eventually decided to try to give up for health reasons and the only thing that worked for him was reading Allen Carr's book - I think it worked pretty quickly too.

Good luck with this - you're doing the right thing!

CornflakeKid · 10/10/2006 12:38

I gave up when I found out was pg with my first - someone said 'imagine everytime you smoke, your womb fills with smoke' and that was it! Along with the thought that you wouldn't put a cigarette in your newborn baby's mouth! I'm not judging you by the way - it is hard - I found visualisation worked wonders. Good luck xx

FredBassett · 10/10/2006 12:54

What is she, an elephant???

CornflakeKid · 10/10/2006 17:13

eh?

FredBassett · 10/10/2006 17:22

Ashling was 27 weeks pregnant when she started this thread at the beginning of May

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