Wedding invite 2.5 weeks after due date.

[Bejeena]

We have a wedding invite for reasonably close friends and the wedding is 2.5 days after my due date. It is just under an hours drive from where we live.

Of course I would love to go and I know my friend will be upset if we decline but I am wondering if it is really feesible? Of course I could go overdue, could have baby early, might have to have a c section (althogh hope not) and be recovering, we just don't know.

Of course the friend doesn't have children and doesn't really understand how difficult it could be. Also since it is my first I don't really know myself. What if I am having trouble breast feeding and baby takes long to feed?

Also I am a bit worried about everyone wanting to touch and hold baby after been drinking and smoking and everyone just cooing over him/her.

Has anyone been to a wedding so shortly after?

I am hoping that my friend might be a bit understanding about it all and accept that maybe we might have to pull out. Also I really hope she'll understand that we can really only go for the day and not stay into the night (I am assuming she'd like everyone to stay at reception hotel as it is a big place and pre baby we wouldn't have hesitated to do this)

Or should we just decline from the start? I don't know what to do.

Hi all. I am so glad I stumbled on this post as I knew there must be others in similar situations.

LucyCamille- this seems very strange and I totally agree that what you have organised already with ex is v. generous and reasonable. Maybe they have similar feelings as my post below?

I am just 7 wks preg at the mo (our first) and approx due date 3 wks before hubbies only sisters wedding (hope to god it's not going to be any later). Not gone down well at all with them (hurt that we'd even try for near their special day, we may not get to the wedding, first grandbaby so stealing lime light in the build up, stealing their day - it will be like a christening for us not their wedding and we wont have as big a part to play). I'm struggling as not told any friends yet as hoped to wait for dating scan for conf that all ok so turning to you lovelies.

I knew deep down this would be the reaction we'd get once saying the news-and have already thought of ways of minimising impact. only had one congratulations from them immediately after we told them the news and nothing else...even when we had 'the discussion' recently - oh well not everyone is the same.... Although several posts haven't given me much faith in being able to go - at the mo I really intend on going to the wedding and our situation having as little impact as poss on their day. Call me ambitious but saying now that we wont be going isn't really an option. Obv if complications arise that's a different story. My family are going to be there too so have extra help all day (already asked!!) and we've said we'll do as much as possible to fit in with their day -eg make sure family/friends see baby before, stress no fuss and equally the family friends should realise that they shouldn't be fussing too much either.

I've set the ground rules in terms of baby has to come along but over and above that the rest is for them to suggest and us to sort within reason I suppose. I'm just freaking out a little bit about it as it's so much unknown!

Anyone have any thoughts? Thanks for reading, typing this out has helped already!

I'd decline but I went 2 weeks I over!

I was bridesmaid for one best friend 5 weeks after ds1 was born, 2 1/2 hour drive from home. I only agreed because she cried when I said I couldn't do it! I have to be honest the night before the wedding I was dreading it, but it was a breeze! We had said we were going back to our room after the meal but lasted til 10.30 with ds asleep in his pram (in quiet bar area not disco!). When they are that little they mostly feed and sleep so if you book a room to stay over so you have a private place to feed you should be fine. A sling or carrier is really useful as

Both mine tended to stay settled for longer in one than if lay in a pram. It also keeps them safe from being picked up, kissed or generally mauled by wedding guests! You'll be fine, pick yourself an outfit you can feed in though!

We went to a wedding when DD was 4 days old and it was absolutely fine. Having said that I had a straightforward normal delivery and am by nature a bit of a coper. We went on holiday when she was 6 days old. That was fun

Thank you so much ladies for the replies, I suppose its the unknown that is concerning us but we are trying to be as positive as possible about the situation as now know in laws not happy about the timing/impact either... to me, this is life, not everything is perfect timing but we just have to be positive and be accommodating of their wishes as possible on their day. We have got a room etc so should be ok

I went to bil's wedding when dd was 4.5 months old, so quite old really. Don't know if it was growth spurt or being in a weird environment but she just wanted to bf all the time otherwise would cry. It was exhausting, I ended up eating my meal (cut up for me by dh) in a room outside the main reception room, breastfeeding, and then most of the speeches etc in the hotel room, breastfeeding. Might have been worse because she was a bit older (and the fucking 'feeding again?' comments) but it might be an idea to book a room at the hotel if you really want to go so you can just hole yourself up there if it's all a bit stressful but still go down, show your face and be at the wedding iyswim.

If you've got family who you sense have issues around you bf, then I wouldn't go tbh. If you're feeding on demand you never know when that day will be when you're feeding every hour. And it can be stressful feeling like you have to justify how often you're doing it, no matter how well meant the enquiries are.

Thanks beanonoir, useful thoughts consider tho hope most people will understand the feeding regime, whatever that will be! Xx