Another BFP after repeat miscarriages - anyone else getting on that rollercoaster again?

[User21276799]

Hi ladies,

I got a BFP last night after feeling a bit off for a week. I must be just over four weeks pregnant.

I'm incredibly fortunate to have a DD of nearly one, who was conceived naturally after four miscarriages. I had another miscarriage at eight weeks when DD was only a few months old (a happy surprise pregnancy).

After that we decided just to let things happen and hope to get pregnant again. When I took the test last night, I showed DH and said "that's a cross isn't it?", he said "yep. Explains why you feel crap. We know not to get our hopes up". That'll probably be the last time we mention it until we get to at least eight weeks, if we get that far.

I realise I am very lucky to manage to get pregnant at all, but I feel bad that we don't/can't get excited about what should be a really joyful thing. Having looked at the birth club boards and seeing how excited everyone is at four weeks pg, it makes me feel sad and jaded. I've tried so hard to put it out of my mind when I' ve been pregnant and take a 'what will be, will be' attitude - no plans, no dreaming of names. I hardly cried last time when there was no heartbeat on the scan, not because I didn't want the baby (I did, very much) but because I knew it could go either way.

Is anyone else going through this kind of psychological limbo with their pregnancy? I can't tell my RL friends for obvious reasons and I'm feeling a bit alone with it all.

If you scroll down bit there is a thread for pregnancy after miscarriage, that may help?

I am lucky enough to have four living DC, but lost my twin girls after they were born very prematurely at 24 weeks and have had two early miscarriages too. It turns out I have a blood disorder that causes miscarriages, but particularly lane miscarriage and late loss, so I've been quite lucky in some ways really.

Have you been diagnosed with any condition or had investigation?

I have decided to tell friends, as if I have a miscarriage I will need their support and maybe practical help with school runs etc. plus, having had things go wrong after 12 weeks, I know only too well that things can go badly wrong at any time. my DH will not tell any of his friends or family though.

Midori1999 I am so sorry for you loss. I can't imagine losing babies so late, that is so incredibly sad. You sound like you are being really strong heading into this pregnancy.

Thanks for the pointer on the other board, I'll have a look.

We've had extensive tests before DD was conceived and they can't find anything wrong with either of us. I believe the consultant's only diagnosis was 'bad luck'. I was only 30 when we started trying so age wasn't a factor (although is probably becoming more of one by now ).

If I make it through another few weeks I might tell the odd close friend, esp. as I just can't face the whole charade of pretending to be on antibiotics or whatever to explain no alcohol! I do think you're right that if you don't tell people they then don't know to support you if things do go wrong.

Wishing you good luck xxxx