If you knew then what you know now..

[stacey212528]

Just a bit of fun, and some advice for a very nervous first timer. 16+3

I would have made more of my spd-free pregnancy period (up to 20-ish weeks) by doing more exercise/ getting out and about more. That's about all I can offer (as I'm only 34 wks w/ my first).

You don't need all the shite that's listed in mum to be mags

Take things easy but stay active

Get informed about labour/c sections/epiostomies/pain relief etc

Enjoy being pregnant. Don't wish him/her out when you're fed up with the bump. I promise they'll be times afterwards you'll wish you could send them back for half an hour!

And don't forget dad.

A lot of focus is on mum and baby. But dad is going to become a parent too. So make sure he gets involved and has things to do while you're pg, in labour, once baby is here.

hi, congrats.. when bubba arrives really make sure you have time with your dh yourself and baby...before everyone comes!! As lovely as it is, it can be exhausting.. my mil came round, I had a long labour followed by cs... She stayed for 4 hours!!!!! Could have cried when she accepted another brew! good luck but mostly enjoy.

"Dad" has walked out while uttering that I shouldn't count on him coming back. So unfortunately that isn't going to be an issue.

Will take note of the rest though (:

Get the baby's room/area ready in plenty of time so you don't get caught out with 4 weeks to go!

Don't buy all the things that everyone says you need. You don't.

Relax, you're not going to 'do it wrong', you're mum and mum is ALWAYS right. ;)

Sorry op.

Hope you have lots of rl support then

Do some research about pain relief, induction etc. I was in complete denial that I was actually going to give birth at all and refused to read or listen to any info. That was to my cost later on!

Don't buy tons of baby stuff.

Accept all help from anyone who offers and if people want to visit make sure you give them a little job to do while they are there. Even if its just making you a cuppa and a sandwich.

Enjoy time to yourself before baby comes.
I miss being able to curl up with a good book and read for hours.
So read, go to the movies, go swimming or whatever you enjoy as for people so small they take up lots of time (and get a thermal mug - cuppas arent nice cold!)

Trust yourself. Do your own research. Make up your own mind and do what works for you.

Don't count on it taking ages as its your first. My labour was 6h start to finish with most of it done on public transport / in a car!

O and onesies - everyone buys you onesies! Great expect if you have a short baby. My DD only now fits into some of her newborn ones at almost 5 months!

except*

Don't ...
"stock-up" on the 1st size nappies. They are out of them so quickly.
Panic if you don't know why baby is crying when he's not tired/dirty/wet/hungry/windy/in pain/over stimulated/bored etc. sometimes some babies just want to cry. my dd1 liked the sound of her own voice

Do ...
have lots of easy meals and snacks for you in the house.
Take any offer for help with meals/house work/errands.
Ask for help if you need it.
Take it easy in the 1st few weeks (it is easy to over-do things and be drained)
Waste time just watching baby sleep
Sleep when you need to
Enjoy it.

Thanks everyone some really good tips (:

Hi OP - am pg (29 weeks) with DC2. I would have exercised more in first pregnancy, spent more time pampering myself, more time sleeping and after baby is born I would not have invited FIL and MIL round ours for dinner (cooked by DH!!) just a week after DD1 arrived. Get others to bring food round and concentrate on baby. Oh - and I would have made more of an effort to breast feed - intend to for longer this time round.

SLEEP. NOW.

Take many afternoon naps whilst you can. I wish I had and I wish I'd finished work sooner (I worked 3 days before planned c section. Idiot)

Don't be afraid to ask for help. It doesn't mean you're a crap mother.

Enjoy having long baths and wearing what ever you feel comfy in
Take the weight of your feet when you can
Have tea tree and lavender oil mixed in a little milk ready to use in bath afterwards
Buy small flannels to clean their face and hands, much cheaper and better for skin than wipes
Find somewhere in living room to keep box with nappies, lots of baby vests, cotton wool etc as is easier than going upstairs all the time
Use olive oil on sore spots on baby skin rather than DSudo crem which is a bugger to clean off sore skin
Go to baby groups to make some mum friends as they will keep you sane and be a life line for you
Good luck

Don't forget to drink & stay active as long as possible during labour. I made the mistake of trying to get some sleep when I thought I'd have hours to go so lay down in bed & didn't get up again until DS was born & I was v dehydrated! & as others have said, do your own research & make sure you know your options, the potential complications & how your body works at each stage. I found it oddly comforting during contractions to be able to visualise what the muscles were doing & why & to know that's what they were supposed to be doing!

Oh, make sure that your birth partner, if you choose to have one, knows what your preferences are & is prepared to fight your corner. I made a booklet of all the research I did so DH could look things up if necessary! My mum, on the other hand, wouldn't have been an ideal birthing partner for me because she would've been reluctant to fight for what I wanted & would've spent that time trying to convince me to just do what I was told!

Don't worry if you don't feel that instant rush of intense love when your baby is born. Some people do, some don't (I didn't) but we all get there in the end.

There isn't a 'right' or 'wrong' way to look after your baby, only your own way. You're mum & mum's always right!

-Taken more time off after the birth. 3 days is not enough (I run my own business) even if it was an uncomplicated birth.
-Talked more to DS. I felt quite uncomfortable talking, especially in public. It took me a few months to feel more comfortable and over a year to feel comfortable talking to him in public.
-Started using cloth nappies sooner

Don't have any expectations of either labour or the first few weeks with a baby. None of it will be how you thought it would- in both good ways and bad.

For me, labour hurt a lot more than I expected. Having a newborn was a lot harder than I expected. But it's more wonderful and I love her more than I expected and more than I ever thought I was capable.

Don't spend your whole pregnancy worrying about your baby's position. I was obsessed and was constantly bouncing on a ball and staying on all fours and never slouching. She was in the perfect position from 27 weeks until the end. Still had an awful 3 day back labour wish I'd spend my last few weeks slouching back on the sofa. Take it as it comes.

Keep as active as you can, do your research into what can happen during labour, don't be scared of labour but don't underestimate how intense it can be.

prepare for labour mentally - I dod this but didn't think at all about stitches afterwards. my labour was easy, my stitches not so.

dont buy loads of kit cos 'you won't possibly be able to live without it'. buy it as you need it.

sleepsuits - get ones that fasten down the front with poppers or zips. over the head ones are a pita, as are buttons.

be prepared for every hp you come across to have a different opinion on things. ie. ds had sore bum during antibiotics. iwas putting sudocream on it onky to be told my my afternoon mw to use bepanthan. she brought a tube from neo so started to use it, onky to be told by evening mw that sudocream is better. grrr.

believe in your own opinions and do things your way. it took me a good few weeks to realise that noone was going to take my baby off me for letting him sleep on his tummy (only way he'll sleep), or how I make his feed up. They're guidelines there to help, not law.

picture how you think the first few months will be! now erase it, it won't be like that at all!

forget the housework in those early weeks. look after baby and yourself and enjoy him/her. housework will wait.

my ds is a challenging little mite - he has suffered from reflux, colic etc and has really struggled adjusting to the outside world (still is). I would get myself all upset that I didn't have a contented little baby that I could walk out in the pram like a proud new mummy. its been hard work and I dont mind admitting it. ask for help if you need it and accept help if it's offered.

try to enjoy every single day cos you won't get that day again.

Don't read baby books - the baby hasn't and they will probably just make you feel inadequate when baby doesn't do what they're supposed to. Buy a thermal cup. The shops will still be open once the baby is born so no need to buy absolutely everything for baby's first year before they arrive :)

Oh and accept you will feel teary after baby is born! I cried at 6pm every day for two weeks - I didn't have PND and I sure as goodness didn't miss being pregnant! Becoming a mum is an emotional rollercoaster - and you have to ride it (as a certain boy band singer once said)

Make sure you do your Pelvic floor exercises DAILY for at least 15 mins. I did do the exercises in my first pregnancy but obviously not enough as I'm leaking wee now in my second pregnancy....I'm only 17 weeks.

Back to pelvic floor exercises...see ya!