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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Hen weekend three weeks before due date...

22 replies

LouiseD29 · 21/02/2013 15:06

... and wedding a week before.

It's one of my best best friends, so don't want to miss it, and only in the UK a couple of hours fom where I live. First pregnancy though, so don't know what to expect - am I crazy?

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sheeplikessleep · 21/02/2013 15:13

I wouldn't commit personally.
But then both DS1 and DS2 were born at 37 weeks.

SpottyTeacakes · 21/02/2013 15:15

Dd born at 36+1

Ds born at 35+4

I wouldn't commit either. Also a whole weekend away with late nights, uncomfy bed etc. I personally wouldn't have.

Bejeena · 21/02/2013 15:18

I would say you really want to come and hope it is ok for you to decide last minute. You might be fine and hopefully up to going. But you never know. Surely your friend will understand this?

sheeplikessleep · 21/02/2013 15:18

How would you feel if you did start contracting on the hen weekend?
Could you take your partner with you (stay in a hotel with him), so that if anything did happen, he is there and you might end up in a hospital 2 hours from home?
But then I am a pessimist and think of worst type situations . Chances are you'll go 2 weeks over

fedupwithdeployment · 21/02/2013 15:34

I went to a wedding in deepest darkest Cornwall on my own (DH away at sea) when I was 37 weeks. I had to drive from London with the bump. It was fine and I enjoyed it immensely. But I appreciate that not everyone will feel the same.

If you are up for it great...but be warned (and warn the bride) that things could change.

li41lh · 21/02/2013 15:58

I went to a wedding a week after my due date. It was nice to get dressed up and out of the house at that point! Didn't go into labour for another week. Just told our friends that we would only decide whether to come on the day, as they preferred that to us saying it was an outright no.

angeltattoo · 21/02/2013 16:19

I went to a wedding this Saturday at 32 weeks, wouldn't have missed it.

A friend there was 40 weeks, she had her bagsin the car and her DH stayed sober, no start of labour and they left at 10.30pm...

But really, it will depend on how you feel...

angeltattoo · 21/02/2013 16:20

Actually, the cople of hours thing is a big consideration.

If you go, take the car seat ;-)

Original poster

LouiseD29 · 21/02/2013 17:27

Thanks for the advice. DH has happily accepted a separate invite that weekend to a friend's 40th in Italy, so I might have to recruit a back-up birthing partner from the other hen do guests!

Think I will be miserable if I'm sitting at home while friends are having a blast and DH is getting hammered on Lake Como, but will see how it goes. Appreciate the advice from those with the experience. Thanks!

OP posts:

sundaesundae · 21/02/2013 17:32

I think you'll be fine, I am 36 weeks and still travelling and staying away with my job, hotel staff look worried, but no reason to think I won't go to term. Be prepared to cancel if you fel crud, but I wouldn't worry overly.

learnermummy · 21/02/2013 18:25

I went to a hen do 3/4 weeks before due date and had planned on going to the wedding, but told them not to include us in the seating plan just in case. We didn't make it as DS1 was born 2 days beforehand. At least I can always remember her anniversary and how long she's been married!

Msbluesky32 · 21/02/2013 19:12

How many weeks are you now? Do you feel ok? I only ask because I'm coming up to 34 weeks and have really hit a wall of tiredness. Because baby is quite low I find I can only sit comfortably in a car for a short bit before needing to get up and move about. If you go maybe take everything with you as others have suggested and factor in stopping on the way etc.

Original poster

LouiseD29 · 21/02/2013 19:50

I'm still pretty early on - 16 weeks. Just forward planning. Sorry you're feeling so tired! Hope you can it easy.

OP posts:

Jayne266 · 21/02/2013 20:03

A month before I was due I didn't go anywhere new or on my own for fear of going into labour.

Chesterado · 21/02/2013 22:48

I managed a hen weekend at 35 weeks and has a great time, still felt good etc. didn't make the wedding at 38 weeks as didn't want to be far from home at that stage, but regretted that when dd finally turned up 11 days late and I was bored rigid! I would Ask the organisers what it the latest point they need to know to plan and decide then.

CitizenOscar · 23/02/2013 22:09

Agree - I'd ask the organisers what & when they need to know.

I turned down hen do but it was going to be quite active (dance class & karaoke) and boozy so just not really what I wanted to be doing at that point!

Wedding, "I'd say I'd love to go but understand if you need to know definitely yes/no as I just won't be able up say for sure."

glossyflower · 24/02/2013 15:22

For me being 2 hours away would discourage me from going.
If you went into labour, would you get yourself home in time? Would DP be around?
If it was more local I would still go but then it's upto you if you want to take a chance!

noblegiraffe · 24/02/2013 16:54

I went to a wedding 3 hours away at 39+weeks. It was my brother's wedding so I couldn't miss it but travelling a long distance at that point was bloody awful. I spent a lot of time worried I was going to go into labour and ruin everything and I was so tired I had to go to bed at 9pm. Apart from that, there's the worry of giving birth miles away from home.

What if you give birth there and have to have a c-section or a long hospital stay? A two hour journey home after a c-section would be hideous.

Before I gave birth I thought it would be ok, and luckily it was. Now I've actually given birth twice, I think I was crazy to risk it.

On a separate note, what the bloody hell is your DH doing going to Italy when you're due?

bluer · 24/02/2013 20:42

Why would the journey home be horrendous? I only ask as our hospital is well over and hour away...if I have a section is this something to worry about? So far I've just been worrying about the journey there!
Op...I'd say yes provisionally and go if you're well!

sittinginthesun · 24/02/2013 20:47

I wouldn't be worried about going into labour (if you do, you do...), but I started to struggle at 36 weeks with DS1. I was still working, but really just wanted to stay at home and nest.

A friend of mine actually went into labour with twins on the way to my wedding.

noblegiraffe · 24/02/2013 20:59

Bluer, if you have a section, you have a massive wound exactly where the seatbelt sits. Every jolt of the car feels like it might do you damage, so you want a really sedate driver who brakes very, very gently.

A tip I read on here was to put a big thick maternity pad on top of your wound to cushion it from the seatbelt. I used two! It did really help.

bluer · 24/02/2013 21:21

Ah thanks...hadn't even thought about that!

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