2nd baby nerves

[beccypower]

Hi, just found out I'm pregnant with number 2. I always wanted 2 children and I'm really happy but soooooo nervous. Had a hideous labour first time & I'm dreading doing it again. My contractions stalled & I had to be induced, g&a made me sick as a parrot, the epidural didn't work properly, poor baby had cord wrapped round his neck twice so had to have forceps delivery. When it was finally over I was too wasted from the epidural drugs that I didn't even feel happy about meeting my gorgeous baby :-( Looking for some reassurance if anyone else has similar experience. Thanks

Hi Beccy, were in the same position. Always thought if I have another baby it would be by elective section! It took me a long time to get over that horrific birth I have relayed my fears to my midwife who has referred me for an appointment with consultant midwife at hospital. She is gonna go through old notes and try to make sense of what went wrong last time. Maybe this is a option for you??If no sense can be made of it, I'm going to have an early epidural to ensure rest n hopefully not any agonising frightening episodes again (it vontoose/forceps/episiotomy without anaesthetic). This may sound so extreme but i thought I was gonna die during my last labour. I just can't have the same experience again.

Hello I had a horrific first labour and was terrified to do it again. Had a bit of a meltdown at midwife clinic this time round at about 20 weeks (told midwife there was no way it was coming out/ wept snottily etc) and she suggested hypnobirthing. Just finished the course and I'm feeling super calm and even excited about the labour. I'm 39 weeks and literally can't wait for the experience. Even if the labour is equally horrible this time (which i dont believe it will be) I think the hypnobirthing course has been worth it just to get me to this point where I feel calm and happy to do it again

me too. im dreading the whole labour bit. i had awful birth with Ds which ended up in having forceps i never got chance to hold my baby and got rushed to theater to be stiched. i had a 2nd degree tear as well as the episiotomy and lost alot of blood, it took 2 hours for the operation. i got taken back to a very scared and upset Dp who was left with baby and had no idea what was happening to me. I had 3 units of blood via transfuion and stayed in for a week total. never managed to breast feed.
so i no how you feel. it makes it worse the fact it was only a year ago. curently at 23 weeks and as time gets closer im starting to panic.

i hope you get the birth you want. talking about your fears will help your not on your own. x

Hi beccypower I felt exactly the same as you when I found out I was pregnant with DD.

When DS was born I had a 2 day labour, back-to-back, patchy epidural, blood taken from his head, failed ventouse, rotational forceps, episiotomy delivery. And I was bloody terrified.

I hope it helps you to know that DD popped out in a dignified 8 hours with just g&a because I didn't need extra pain relief because not one of her contractions was anywhere near the agony of the contractions I had throughout the whole of my labour with DS.

My midwives and HV laughed at me because I was so positive about DD's labour after the event.

I hope your 2nd labour goes as smoothly.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Had a horrid birth with DS1. In agony, epidural that only took on one side, episiostomy, ventouse, couldn't walk properly for days etc........ Took me 4 years to pluck up the courage to have another baby!

Was imagining DS2 birth would be worse as it was an induction, my body wasn't ready etc.

It took 1 hour from first twinge to delivery, only had a bit of gas and air (no time for anything stronger) and he was born in the lift going up to the delivery suite . I got up, had a shower and felt amazing.

It was a completely different experience!

Another vote for hypnobirthing - it helps you get over anxieties as well as teaching you how to relax properly in labour. But second ones do tend to be less trouble. Good luck.

I have had counselling throughout my pregnancy to come to terms with the last one. I strongly recommend it. My midwife instigated it when i had a massive panic attack in my first appointment. I am a week away from having my baby now and am feeling really relaxed and positive about it (admittedly thats partly because im getting elcs).

Hi and thank you so much everyone for your messages. It is so reassuring to hear that the second labour won't necessarily be as traumatic as the first. No panic attacks yet - only had 4 days to think about it. I will be clinging on to your positive experiences over the next eight months. Some useful tips there too. I'm feeling more positive already. Thanks

I also had a horrific labour and delivery first time. I am now 36 weeks with DC2 and have been panicking SOO much about a repeat performance. Have been talking with friends and looking on forums for advice too .. I am starting to calm down a little now after hearing many positive stories about the second time being so much easier. Just been given a hypnobirthing book and CDs which I am going to swot up on till the baby is born.

My advice? Keep talking about your worries, it's normal to feel anxiety, but also enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can! Just know that this time will be easier and look at how many women have more than one baby, even after awful experiences. Gotta be worth it, right?!