37w and getting irrationally anxious about EVERYTHING. Any advice???

[emeraldgirl1]

Oddly enough my anxiety is entirely focussed on post-birth and the baby's health rather than labour. I say 'oddly' because most other pg women I know are stressing out about the birth aspect at this point. But I'm not too stressed about that (at least, it's certainly not the thing keeping me up at night!!)

I'm just getting anxious to almost the point of sickness about whether or not the baby will be ok. I have suffered anxiety disorder almost all my life so it's not exactly surprising a life-changing event like this would tip me over the edge. I have spoken to my counsellor about it and she has been very helpful in trying to rationalise my fears. But nothing helps me through the nights when I can't sleep and when I obsess about it all.

I know that my fears are quite specific and not entirely irrational (though the level to which I am panicking IS irrational IYSWIM) because we have a specific disability issue to worry about the baby inheriting. We were told it was only a 5% likelihood and I rationalised it very successfully until now, but now that we are starting to get the baby's clothes ready, build the cot etc it is all becoming very real and I am getting myself into a total state about it.

On top of that I also imagine all kinds of unexpected health problems rearing their head. Totally absurd things.

Distraction works up to a point but I am constantly anxious, can't sleep, and of course am worried that my worry (!) is not at all good for the baby. I know I 'inherited' my own anxiety problems from my mother and I honestly think a lot of it began in the womb, what with stress hormones etc. I am frustrated with myself too because I have been so calm until now and I don't want to ruin the last few weeks of pregnancy worrying about things that I KNOW I can't control.

I don't know what I am asking for, really - maybe just advice from anyone who has been where I am, and maybe a bit of hand-holding . The trouble is that it is v hard to tell anyone IRL apart from my counsellor and DH as people just think you are bonkers. Who wants to sit and listen to mad rantings about an unhealthy or disabled baby, after all???

It makes it so much worse too now that friends and family are getting so excited and buying presents for the baby etc. I just feel like they are tempting fate and also that all this (perfectly natural) excitement would feel so misplaced if, God forbid, something did turn out to go wrong.

Sorry for sounding nuts :(

Oh my god I thought it was just me!

Am 37 weeks tomorrow and for some reason NOW is the time I have chosen to panic about every little thing. For instance, baby usually starts moving as soon as I awake in the morning - didn't yesterday and I flew into a blind panic, imagining all worst case scenarios. I don't think this had been helped by the fact my DH's mum died last week very unexpectedly and it seems to have triggered some kind of panicky chaos in my mind.

Is it normal to start worrying this much so late on? I've been pretty relaxed throughout the rest of this pregnancy, and it's driving memad that ice decided to go nuts now!

So although I have no advice, OP, I can totally sympathise and will definitely be available for hand holding through the next 3-5 weeks!!

Thank you so much phoenix - I am so sorry to hear about your MIL :( and I am sure that is one of the triggers for you feeling so anxious. I don't want to wish this anxiety on anyone else but I am glad to hear that I am not the only one

Part of me thinks that is it sort of normal (well, not totally ABnormal) to be suddenly anxious now when it is all starting to get so real. But I agree it is frustrating and it is certainly not going to be helpful for as stress-free a labour as possible.

"blind panic' is the way I feel a lot too, especially in the middle of the night. It's better in the daytime but I dread waking up at 3 and getting into a state.

I keep waking up hours earlier than DH, my head swimming with worries... I feel the same as you in that I don't want baby to be feeling what I'm feeling, but I just feel so overwhelmingly anxious that it ends up sending me in circles.

I've just been eating curries and going for long walks in the hopes that my LO will arrive sooner rather than later and perhaps all the worries will begin to ease... Once baby is here I will be able to focus on what I need to be doing, whereas right now I just feel like I'm waiting!! I want a stress free labour too but knowing me that won't happen...

Maybe it is just us 2 though as nobody else seems to have chipped in??

I'm just the same! I'm quite a worrier by nature anyway but had managed to relax for the past few months but I'm now 39 weeks and just paranoid and scared about baby being born healthy and well and the longer I wait for him to arrive, the worse it gets! :(

Hey everyone im 34 weeks tomorrow, and suffer from stress and anxiety and am in the same situation i take anti depressants and NEED them although some people think i shouldnt be taking them. In fact 4 days ago a got into such a state about the baby having mental health problems or heart defects because of me that i stopped taking medication completely, and as you can imagine im hitting rock bottom very quickly, i told my DP and he went mad at me and i promised to tell the consultant tomorrow and start retaking ADs. Although its not very nice to read other mums to be are suffering its nice to know im not alone. Sorry to jump on board emeraldgirl1.

I had this. Pre- natal anxiety. Due to biochemical changes in the brain during pregnancy. I was on Ad,s during pregnancy but still had terrible anxiety about nothing.

It went as soon as dd arrived!

I'm a natural worrier too and at 32 weeks feel a bit miserable with worrying about the worse potential outcomes. I just want to enjoy my pregnancy but am never relaxed. My DH is very good at breaking things down into statistics and rationalising things but I don't mention a lot to him now as I'm fed up of myself.

Not much help sorry, but you're not alone!

I've been beside myself for the past two weeks (Im 40+1). I can't sleep for more than 3 hours at a time, but I refuse to get up and do anything, I just sit and cry, weep and obsessively read for the remaining 18 or so hours in the day. My concerns are not irrational, at least I don't think so. I drank lots before I found out I was pregnant and am convinced Ive brain damaged the baby. Worse than that, I feel I don't want the baby anymore. And the happier and more excited people get about the baby, the more I feel Im going to let everybody down and be shamed and rejected publicly. I feel that I will have ruined my baby and my husbands life. I'm really not making this easy for my poor husband. Even typing this out sends me into a panic again. Just want this all to be over : (

Mixxy have you shared your feelings with your gp and midwife? It sounds like you need professional help and support. Thankfully fetal alcohol syndrome is rare even if people have had alcohol in pregnancy but whatever happens you need some rl support. I'm worried that you are at risk of post natal depression and it's best to get help now.

Ladies there is no shame in asking for help for pre or post natal mental health issues. Having a baby is a massive strain on your body,mind and relationships and whatever you feel you are not alone.

Saying that you'd be hard pushed to find any woman who hasn't had any irrational fears about baby during pregnancy or beyond. Nothing like a few hormonal changes to ratch up the worry factor! Had/have many of those myself so i completly sympathise! Not awake at 4am thinking of happy bunnies myself and find pregnancy a worrying time although first dc was worse.

Thanks, mmmmsleep. I have spoken to my doctor about it and she's not very reassuring about the FAS chances. She has been helping me with panic attacks during the pregnancy and has noted that Im at risk for PPD, which I guess she'll watch for after the baby is born. I see her again tomorrow. I don't think there is anything much they can do for me. Guess we'll see.

Sorry to hear there's so much anxiety out there, especially those who are suffering badly. .

I'm 36 weeks and mostly keeping a lid on it - a house move on Friday is keeping me occupied - but nonetheless I've had some very dark thoughts about the health of my baby. Every quiet day convinces me that there is something wrong with the placenta. I think it's because I had a bleed at 16 weeks and they couldn't find the heartbeat for hours. It was looking really grim and I was about to be admitted til a doctor finally found it faintly by ramming a Doppler hard into my abdomen. I guess I've never shaken that awful feeling of having lost her.

We're in the final straight now though. I guess it's a case of getting through each day, accessing the help and support you need to get there and realising that anxieties are related more to the life-changing nature of motherhood than to the tiny, tiny chance of there being anything wrong with our babies. Hang in there.

Glad you're in touch with your gp mixxy and she's keeping a close eye. Fingers crossed all is well with your little one and good luck for a quick hassle free labour and lovely newborn cuddles soon!

Thanks v v much for posting everyone, though I am so sorry to hear that others are suffering this awful anxiety too :(

mixxy I know it won't help to hear this from a total stranger but I am sure your fears about FAS are unfounded, what an awful shame you have had no support from your GP. I am so sorry you are feeling so anxious; all I can say is that i know what it is like to have these feelings and I am there with you in spirit!!

I do think it doesn't help being a 'natural' worrier but I also know (have discussed with my counsellor) the fact that being a parent is ALWAYS grounds for anxiety and there is always something to worry and obsess about if you let yourself. So I know how important it is to just try to let the worry subside and not plague you, otherwise it will ruin every minute. I suppose I stupidly imagine that if I imagine every worst case scenario it may not happen. Totally illogical and all I do is end up scaring myself sick.

Mixxy I could not agree more that the worst thing is when other people get happy and excited, it just makes me feel even more like things will go wrong and that I will have let down my friends and family.

ChairmanWow that must have been so scary when you thought you had lost the heartbeat. Sorry that happened to you :( but glad all is OK xx