11 weeks (ish) and craving a glass of wine

[LittleMrsExpecting]

Hi everyone, I am 11-12 weeks pregnant and although normally am not a big drinker am dying for a glass of wine. Have people been having the odd glass or abstaining from wine full stop? x

I just don't understand why someone would start to post about domestic violence in a thread where the op wanted our opinions on having a glass of wine, not very helpful and completely off topic.

rewwine, you said that the op should have a drink because stress is bad for baby. A point I don't think was very helpful (or correct). I answered your point. This is what happens in a thread.

If anyone wants to drink. Go ahead. Just don't tell someone you don't know that it's okay for THEM to drink because you DON'T KNOW.

So you can give advice yet I cannot? I speak from personal experience, knowledge is gained from experience, and my suggestion was not that op should get legless, much to the contrary.
also stress is bad for baby, your last post stated this, are you know contradicting yourself again? I mentioned stress as having a glass of wine is used as an end of day relaxer, and anything that keeps a mother to be relaxed and happy can surely do more good than harm.

You can say what you like. Just don't expet to be agreed with all the time.

I dont expect to be agreed with, the op was asking for "opinion" not fact. You cannot berate me for having my opinion, nor anyone else.

And you don't know that it is not, Expat.

OP, my OPINION is that you are an adult, you can make your own decision and if you want to drink a glass of wine then that is your choice and you should not be 'told off' by posters who have contradicted theirselves throughout this post!! Nor by anyone else, you can make your own mind up and if any 'consequences' arise then you will know it was your decisions that got you there.
My EXPERIENCE is that in this pregnancy, I had a champagne/fresh orange on New Year's Eve to celebrate at work, I can't remember how my weeks I was then, I'm 18 weeks+ now. Other than that I haven't fancied a drink this pregnancy
With my first, I had the odd bottle of lager or glass of wine, and my almost 7yr old son learnt to count to 30 at 2 and to read at 3. He's now working at an 11 yr old level in school. He is also a very popular, energetic, bubby and boysterous little boy and ill challenge anyone who would like to tell me I did him any harm at any point!!
My second pregnancy was the same, I had the odd glass when I fancied it, like everything else in moderation, and dd (2yrs) is also advanced for her age and a very happy NORMAL little girl.

Contrary to what I said about French MWs wrt to alcohol, there is much more tolerance of cigarette smoking. Namely, best cut down and not give up because giving up maybe more stressful to the mother and hence have an undesirable effect on baby. I've heard MWs themselves advising this to pg women who smoke - I've heard it repeated many times from smoking women.

If you change the word 'drink' redwine to 'cigarette', does that change the advice you would give? If you're stressed, one ciggie will do you good?

LeBFG apparently the number of premature births in Belgium has dropped significantly since the smoking ban. I do still see pregnant women smoking but not half as many as a few years ago.

LeBFG again, interesting, I never heard that advice or see pregnant French women smoking, with the exception of one, more than ten years ago, in Paris. I guess different regions have different advice.

Yes, smoking is a well known risk factor Expat. Though I personally doubt that one fag or one glass of wine during a whole pg is going to harm anyone. However, suggesting people do this based on reducing stress levels seems a bit odd to me. There are plenty of other ways of reducing stress and (as a wine lover myself) I can't understand what relief one poxy glass will do anyway. Probably make you feel a bit queer after all those months of no alcohol probably.

Oh, it isn't official advice PetiteRaleuse. But yes, I guess regions differ. My point though is something I thought of on another thread. In the UK, our views on pg women smoking and drinking are different - we despise and discourage one and preach tolerance and unjudgemental views for the other (where mothers engage lightly in either activity). I can't understand why (even though I share the same views). Am I making myself clear?

Yes but there is a whole lot more judgementalness and despising of what other women choose to do while pregnant or with their children in the UK in general. In France they just shrug and go meh. But that's by the by.

Personally I think a women who smokes one or two cigarettes a week, like drinking one or two glasses of wine a week, is inunlikely to be harming her baby. But very few smokers can stick to one or two a week, so it is much better to stop completely, because smokers are, by definition, addicts and not in control of their habit. Most of us can contol what we drink however.

I recognise that in myself, so stopped spoking completely during pregnancy. I was able to trust myself to stick to one or two glasses of wine a week though.

I think that is the difference.

Because self identity is linked to drinking. I do think that lots of Brits have an uneasy relationship with alcohol anyway. Any vaguely negatively comment about drinking is seen as inference that someone has a drinking problem so is fiercely rebutted. The anti smoking campaign was long and sustained so is more in psyches even if unconsciously.

That's true too Expat re there being a strange relationship with drink in the UK. I have never met French people who drink to get drunk, or who boast about having got driunk other than, I suppose, some students. And it is rare that they will even admit to having a hangover. There's a big cultural difference re alcohl between the UK and elsewhe in Europe.

Yes absolutely Petite.

LeBFG, the post is about DRINKING not SMOKING. However, to respond to your somewhat non relevant question;if hypothetically the word "WINE" was switched with "CIGARETTE" then my response would be different. I would say that Nicotine is a drug that the body is reliant upon and a pregnant mother should exercise caution when trying to cut down during pregnancy and medical assistance should be sought to do so in a safe way. Unless OP is an alcoholic (which she does in no way seem to be) then she can given the opinion that yes, a little tipple to feed your craving is just fine.
I agree with Petite, people who smoke are addicted to smoking otherwise they wouldn't do it. People who drink are not all alcoholics, therefore it is easy for a mum-to-be to regulate her enjoyment of wine to a low level whilst expecting, as per OP's question!

LeBFG, just a note you stipulated I give advice, I merely give my opinion : ). Advice is sought from professionals, opinions are sought from society.

The relevant bit of the question was to tackle what you said about doing x to relieve stress. When it's a fag that's bad, when it's a glass of wine, it's OK - i.e. there are double standards at work. If one is flawed, so is the other...

I would say that Nicotine is a drug that the body is reliant upon and a pregnant mother should exercise caution when trying to cut down during pregnancy and medical assistance should be sought to do so in a safe way. Unless OP is an alcoholic (which she does in no way seem to be) then she can given the opinion that yes, a little tipple to feed your craving is just fine.

How do you know that smoking and alcohol consumption are different beasts? Also, alcohol is a drug too.

I used to smoke, and do you know why - because I liked it. Simple. I honestly loved the the very first rollie I tried. It probably took me a lot longer to get used to drink bitter beers and slighly vinegary/tannic wines. So it isn't true to say the only reason smokers smoke is because they are addicts . Most women smokers in fact DO cut down drastically or give up during their pregancies.

I agree with the uneasy relationship with alcohol. It is possible to not have a dependancy verging on alcoholism to have built up a habit with alcohol and find this habit difficult to give up.

Why would you TACKLE someone's opinion?? Again LeBFG your post is irrelevant to the OP's question. She is going to need a glass of wine to read through the 'tripe' (as firstpost referred to it earlier) that has been posted on this thread!
So how do i know that smoking and alcohol consumption are different beasts? Seriously??? FML!!!

I was under the impression that this thread had developed into a discussion. I was clearly wrong.

Most of the debates on MN are about tackling, discussing, challenging, disproving, vindicating people's opinions.

While at uni I remember reading in a lot of alcohol publicity. One of the indicators of people with dependency issues is drinking to 'feel better'. As you keep giving people your opinion (sorry, can't use 'advice') to calm down and have a drink, perhaps you fall in this category of person?

If your attempting to call me an alcoholic I would say that's slander. Can you confirm that's the case?
Interested to know what BFG stands for? I have my own opinions.....

I think you mean that it's libel.

:o

I think BOF has made very valid points actually

My green notes from midwife says it is advised not to drink in pregnancy, but if you choose to do so, you can have 1-2 units once or twice a week.

It's a personal choice some choose to some dont, its as simple as that, just because one wouldn't shouldn't mean another can't. and I don't think 1 small glass of wine would be harmful and cause FAS. These discussions always get way out of hand.

OP what about a little bit of wine topped up with lemonade?