Contented Little Baby book

[Bobley]

Hi, I am expecting my first baby at the beginning of August and I bought a copy of the best seller "Contented little baby book" by Gina Ford.

After telling my midwife and my friends that I had bought this book they said I may as well use it as toilet paper as it is totally ridiculous and never works let alone trying to get the routines established!

Has anyone tried the routines in the book?! They do seem very complex but if it leads to having a baby that sleeps through the night at an early age that can't be a bad thing?... can it?!

uh oh.

lol
second in a week isn't it?

try a search on gina ford. The settle down for several hours reading.

Depends.
I think the 'sleeps through the night' thing is a gigantic red herring in parenting.
People treat you like a leper if your baby isn't, and yet statistics show that by far the majority don't, for ages.
And sleeping through the night at say 6 weeks would most ptobably be a bad thing if you were breastfeeding and trying to keep up with growth spurts.
The vast majority of people on here, even if they don't all agree word-for-word with your friends, would fall into the 'the baby will do it if he/she is made that way' camp, and a few posters have said the book saved their sanity.
If you have a look over a few threads you will find the ones that argue that following the rigid timetables in the book can interfere with normal bonding, scupper breastfeeding, contribute to post-natal depression (high expectation etc) and my personal bugbear, make parenting rather dull.
But then enough people say that you take what you want from it and don't pay any heed to the bits you might feel are particularly unrealistic.
One thing's for sure, and I'm not being a harbinger of doom (honest ) but at some point during the first few weeks you will feel that nothing you read could prepare you for it.

Read her book, and read other books, too, like The Baby Whisperer and take what you want from each. Some people get very stressed if their babies don't fall into a Gina routine, and others find the routine, if followed to the letter, restrictive but I used it as a guide, rather than a very strict Routine Which Must Not Be Disturbed and I found the book very useful. Some posters on MN would have you believe that anyone following the GF routine is committing something akin to child abuse but personally, I wouldn't be swayed by such extremist views. The best thing you can do is ask other mums and get as much help as you can in the first few months!

I used it with second baby as had near enough no routine with the first. I didn't follow it all, just roughly - eg, times of naps etc, putting down awake, weaning to some extent.

Dd was a very settled baby and just kind of fell into that routine naturally anyway. She slept through the night from 10wks and I breastfed her for a year.

She was much more settled than ds and has been an easier toddler too. I don't know how much of this is down to GF - may be none - when I had ds I was younger and not as settled myself - but I would definately say it's worth a look.

hee hee - one of the most emotive topics on MN!!!

I personally found this book great, but as someone has already said, nothing can prepare you for the first few weeks. I think we started following it at about 4 weeks, and followed the sleep and feed timings, and DS slept through (7 - 7) from 10 weeks. However it does seem to depend a lot on the baby - I have some friends who tried it and had no luck with it.

I didn't read any of the other baby books, but have some friends who swear by the Baby Whisperer, so I think it's probably a case of "suck it and see" and try out the various ones until you find something that works.
Good luck!

glad to see im not the only insane person awake at this hour.

Found this book a life saver (though didn't discover it until ds nearly 3 months old) and have given it to everyone who's gotten pg since.

I read it, ignored it and my dd slept through the night from 6 weeks. I personally felt that there is enough pressure and confusion in the first year of a baby's life without having a timetable to stick to, ie without setting yourself up for failure.

I bought it before DD was born. Then picked it up after she was born and there was no way I could follow it without tearing my hair out so did my own thing and still got a contented little baby. The midwives shook with horror at the mention of this book..

((xx))

Bobley - what about trying the first 6 weeks using your own instinct - and then opening up the book and seeing if any of it makes you go "aha".

Hi Bobley, I followed Gina Ford for my first baby and found her book a very helpful guide as I was fairly clueless. I did find though, he was always miles behind the stage he should have been at for his age. He didn;t sleep through until about 5 months and that was short-lived. With my second ds I couldn't follow the routine as I don;t think it works with 2 children. He found his own routine anyway. I was probably more confident by then anyway. I would say, read it but don;t be a slave to it but there is some good advice there too.

Bobley, i haven't read Gina Ford nor would i wish to tbh.
I recently read '3 in a bed' though by Deborah Jackson (i think) and that is a really amazing book. It's basically saying how we all expect too much from babies and see them not sleeping as a problem when we'd be much happier if we just accepted that our life was gonna change for a bit. Also how we in the West have different attitudes to babies than the rest of the world.
I read it for my second dd and it has honestly made me SO mush more chilled out about her sleeping. She co-sleeps from 11 ish still at the moment (she's 14 months now).

Anyway, not everyones cup of tea i'll bet just thought i'd show you probably the whole opposite attitude to Gina Ford's books
(From what i've heard-never had the desire to read them)

My 3yo and my 10mo are both on the GF routine. I breastfed both (still going with DS2) but skipped the expressing part both times . DS1 slept through at 18 weeks and DS2 at 14 weeks. With DS2 I knew to just chip away at it till he settled into the routine in his own good time, and I was much better at putting him to bed awake. I realise it is very individual as to whether the mother and the child or children lend themselves to routine, but I thank god for GF everytime I hear about people toddlers who have never slept through the night. I am very cranky and snappy when I am sleep deprived so I think it is definitely in the best interests of my whole family that I continue to GF my boys. Although I am sad to say that this is the only regular topic on MN that makes me feel like a non-conformist who doesn't belong.

Thank you for all your replies!

After reading Twigglets reply I didn't realise this book was such a big deal!!

There were things in her book which did make perfect sense and others I will try or miss out.

Its nice to hear that some of your have tried it and it has worked for you and others who wouldn't touch it with a barge pole!

Thanks

I brought this book before my DD was born and I was already a nanny who had cared for newborns. I read it and thought it was alittle too regemented, although I set up my own routine which fitted in with us and was similar to hers... just the timings were different really. My DD slept from 9pm til 6am from seven weeks. I would call this 'through the night' although it really depends from person to person.
I think the book is ok if you take it with a liberal pinch of salt, as no baby is that conformative, no matter how you may try to get them. Also she doesn't include your emotions and how you feel torn hearing your baby crying!!!

I started reading the GF book when I was pregnant as well and thought that it looked a bit too restrictive for my liking and that there was no way I would be able to start the routine straight away, as you need to get over the initial amazing shock of being a new mum before attempting anything. However, I started flicking through it again when dd was about 4 weeks old and was absolutely amazed at the results. I almost stuck to it religiously to begin with (apart from the fact that dd has always needed more sleep than the average [just like her mum]), but it meant that as the months went by I could relax a bit more and be more flexible. People often commented on how they'd never seen such a happy baby. I passed the book on to my friend and her baby changed from a grumpy little baby who cried all the time, to a perfectly contented one. Having said that a lot of happy babies don't follow the GF routine.
obviously it doesn't suit everyone as every one is different. Not everyone likes to follow a routine.
I just think it's a bit unfair for the midwives to judge that book and give such a negative opinion about it. At the end of the day, they should just tell you to do whatever you think is right, as parenting is such a personal and sensitive topic.
Anyway, dd is now 2 and has never had a broken nigh since she was 4 months (but even before that she'd go to bed at 7pm and I only had to wake her up once at 10.30pm for her bottle and she'd sleep til 7.30 the next morning.) She now sleeps from about 7pm til about 7.30pm and still has a good 2 hours sleep at lunch time which.
I personally didn't like the baby whisperer.
All the best!!!

DO NOT read this book if you want to keep any resemblance of sanity once your baby is born!

Well, those two posts below pretty much sum up how polarised opinions can be about GF!!

By cheeseypeas on Sunday, 7 May, 2006 10:03:41 PM

Hi Bobley

I too bought this book when pregnant and had the same warnings. I should have heeded these warnings and binned it, but didn't. I thought it was a loveless, joyless restrictive approach so thankfully didn't follow it. But, every so often after a bad night or day, would dip into it and basically just depress and confuse myself!!!

There are three very dangerous things about this book. Number 1. Trying to get a baby to conform to them will in most cases mean leaving it swaddled and deperately crying alone in a darkened room. This is a trauma beyond comprehension unless you've ever tried it. Making a baby wait for milk (especially when breast feeding and they can smell it on you and want the comfort as well) is something else.

1. You'll be dependant on the book and could miss out on an important part of becoming a mum - watching your baby and learning how to respond to him or her. An invaluable tool.

1. When (and if) you have established these routines, your family life will be very restricitive. There is nothing as blissful as just saying to youself - right, I'm going out! Grabbing your baby and ambling around the park, shops and friends houses and then ambling home again at your own pace. You cannot do this if you follow these routines. That's a valuable lifeline down the pan. A very close friend of mine followed this book. The result - her baby, evetunally slept through the night. The cost - She was trapped in the house following these routines at times. Her baby would ONLY sleep in a cot in a darkened, silent rooom (never even in a pushcair), she got post-natel depression, felt like a failure as a mother, had horrific rows with her husband in town centres as she insisted they had to 'leave now' so they could gedt home for her DD's 1pm nap.

There are basic approaches in this book that have some truth and I believe its these that make it work, not the routines.

• Put your baby down sleepy and not quite asleep as much as possible (so they learn to fall asleep on their own and don't wake up and totally freak out because they are some place different than where they fell asleep.
• Try and make sure your baby gets as much milk as possible during the day
• Have regular naps during the day but don't sleep for huge stretches that interfere with night sleep.
• Develop a basic, flexible structure an routine for your days, based on you and your babies needs. A bit of routine is reasurring for babies. A bit.

Watch your baby, learn his or he cues and do the basics and you'll give your baby the best chance at sleeping through the night.

There is a book by Elaine Pantley called the 'no cry sleep solution' which I recommend totally. You can happily have my copy. Email me and I'll send it to you.

I can't put into words how much I would advise you bin that Gina Ford book.

Sorry for this post being so long but if you could meet my friend (who followed it), you'd know why. The best day I have had as a mum is a day when I finally stopped reading books like this and started following my instincts. It feels so, so good.

Good luck and sorry for the long and empassioned post!

(have copied cheeseypeas post because I think its fab, accurate and totally true .. but have edited out her description of author cos I reckon its going to be deleted)

EEk - I think so too Twiggy!