Help first time mum to be - worried about social services

[hollyjessica]

I am a first time mum to be - 26 years old. I am also classed as disabled. I am diabetic and have a short term memory condition which is controlled.

Don't hate me now, but my Mum works for social services and is threatening to involve social services. I haven't even had the baby yet? Can she do this? And if she can will my GP have to get involved and tell them all my medical stuff?

I was pregnant with twins I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks - I didn't know I was having twins til an ultrasound showed up 2 sacks! One empty :(

I am coping with the miscarriage I have asked for counselling from my GP. But now I am paranoid and stressed my Mum will involved social services and this will cause me to miscarry again.

Why is she threatening to do this? Do her concerns seem genuine or more vindictive? What is your relationship like?

If she did involve SS, I assume (not sure about this) they wouldn't actually let her assess your case as she is too involved.

Perhaps you could pay a pre-emptive visit to your GP, tell him/her what is going on and ask him/her their opinion on your pregnancy?

Have any other professionals involved with youi - consultants, midwives - expressed concerns?

I'm sorry for your mc and that you're having this stress.

What are your mums worries? Has anyone else raised any concerns? Social services would actually need to have received a referral with concerns for them to justify begining an assessment. You being disabled is not enough of a reason for ss to be involved.

If ss is involved they can begin an assessment before the baby is born. Ss assessment will be based on seeing you at home and speaking to health professionals for you and the baby. This includes your gp and midwife. Depending on information they get from you and other professionals they will make a decision as to whether they need to stay involved. However as i have said they need to have recieved a referral first stating the concerns and how it will affect the baby. Just to point out it doesnt necessarily mean its a bad thing for ss to be involved. It could mean they put extra support in place to help you look after the baby if they think its needed. Usually ss has to have a reason for them to be involved. There is not the resources for them to stay involved if there are no worries about the care you give to your child.

Congratulation on your pregnancy.

What reasons has your mother given for threatening to involve ss?

As a disabled parent who had previously bad experience with ss but now totally different, I'll say don't panick. My current MW went behind my back and reported me to both adult and children ss, luckly my current care manager is great and actually told MW off for assuming disabled = bad parent. Basically the care manager said if neither myself or unborn baby are at risk then they will not interfere with my parental responsibilities. MW decided to send a written referal, again was told off for wasting ss time and resource since there was no risk.

I can imagine how scary the mention of ss is but if there are genuine risks to either of you then please ask for ss help. They will provide the support you need and they will not just take the baby away.

I think they will help you with extra support if you should need it but they won't take your baby away just because you're disabled, that doesn't make you a bad parent! I would speak to your gp or midwife and see what they think you should do. What is your mum hoping to gain from involving them?