How to introduce 20month old to new baby? Tips?

[leannac]

I've been told to make sure when dd meets baby that baby isn't in my arms but that's about all I've heard. I'm getting a pressie for dd from baby too. Any other tips to ease what is going to be a massive shock (sharing mummy) for my darling girl?

I second the tips above they were the main ones i was going to say but also when you feed (bf or ff) if its just you there make sure you have a special bag/box of diff toys/treats that dd can play with/have that are just for feeding time so that she is occupied when you need a bit of quietness to feed baby.
depending on whether baby will sleep/nap in cot/moses basket use that time as 'special dd time'. If baby decides not to want to sleep unless being held see if you can get comfortable using a wrap type sling like a Kari me or something as then baby can sleep on you in that but you still have 2 hands free to play with dd.
We got ds1 a t shirt that said he was the big brother (he was 2yrs 10 months when ds2 was born) and got him to help with things like passing me a nappy etc but that all depends on whether your dd will be old enough to do that sort of thing. We also got ds1 a doll so he had a 'baby' that he could do the same things with as i was doing with my baby!
There are lots of books around aswell that you can get to read with your dd which introduce the concept of a baby sibling.
Good luck and im sure everything will be good.

Try and treat your dd like you normally do. So, don't call her a 'big girl' if she's used to being called your 'baby' for example.

Getting her to help with the nappy changing, bathing is a good introduction.

I think the most difficult thing to get right at the beginning and having two young ones, is when you're doing something with baby and the toddler has to wait.

So if you're feeding baby and your dd wants a juice, or drops a toy behind the sofa, or your dd wakes and starts crying from her nap and sometimes she may have to wait for things as you're busy with baby. But before she got them straight away iykwim.

The first few weeks can be difficult, but after about 8-10 weeks you get the knack of juggling the two and its much easier. Good luck!

Introduce baby to them - tell baby you are going to introduce them to the most important person in the family, the coolest big brother/sister ever and that they are very lucky to have this person as their big brother/sister. Have a present for baby for sibling - but also nice to pick, choose and wrap a present from sibling to baby before the baby ocmes.

i am also worried about this as my Ds will only be 15 months and hate the thought he may feel pushed out! there are some great tips in here but do you think they'll work when hes still a baby himself??

OhMy- there's 16 mo between two if mine.

It takes a few weeks for them to adjust, but its really not as bad as you might expect. Our youngest is now 3 months old and toddler is absolutely fine.

The hardest thing is definitely getting toddler to wait while you're busy with baby. Or when they're both crying and you have to decide how handle it.

But if I ever find it tough, I just have to pull myself together, put a smile on and get on with it. Because it is hard at times. But on the whole, it's lovely and if course I adore them to pieces.

17month gap and all was fine, I'm not sure dd1 even noticed there was a baby for a few weeks. I think smaller age gaps might be easier on the jealousy front as the eldest are still babies. Also second time around you kind of know what you are doing (a bit) and realise that tiny ones sleep ALOT.

thank you busy. people always comment sayings im mad or ill have my hands ful, and yes this is truth i will be busy but i dont need people telling me i wont cope!! you dont have a choice.

the one thing i really worry about is the night feeds. DS sleeps 8-8 and i worry with a newborn waking in the night his sleep will be disturbed!?

im so excited about the new baby but cant help feeling im going to push DS out :(

Toddlers don't hear a thing, honestly. Both children will slot together nicely. Don't worry

Oh my-our toddler was disturbed for the first few weeks but settled quickly and easily with a quick kiss and cuddle. Now if baby's crying he doesn't stir at all-must be used to it and switches off to it.

And as for toddler feeling pushed out-as long as you're giving as much of your time to your toddler, and quality time-playing with him etc, there's no reason for him to feel pushed out.

Make sure any visitors make a fuss of your toddler too when baby's born.

17 mths between my DC. I gave the first a baby doll in the 2/3 weeks before his brother was born. Talked a lot in that time about the new baby.On the day, he sniffed the baby and cradled him and did not want to give him to anyone else. [Grandparents not impressed]

My experience was very easy, though to be honest I had not really given any thought to what to do in the event of a "bad "reaction...oh, and plastic doll was thereafter relegated to shelf until required to go in toy buggy at walk time.

Good luck