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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

telling work - please help!

10 replies

cwtchontoast · 05/02/2013 12:12

I am currently 11wks pg and really starting to worry about letting work know.
I have been in my current job for about 18 months so there is no worry about receiving maternity leave/pay but I could really use some advice on breaking the news.
I want to wait till after my first scan (which is booked for the 19th of Feb) so I've still got a few weeks to think about it, how did others here broach the subject?

My boss is only a few years older than me and has been known to react unreasonably in these sorts of situations, I really don't want the next 6 months of my working life to be made miserable because he decides to take offence to my pregnancy.

So, sorry for rambling, but in short, how did you lovely people break the news at work?
P.s. if it makes any difference, this will be my first baby.

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DontmindifIdo · 05/02/2013 12:23

Well congratulations!

I waited until after the scan both times, it just makes it a little easier that you know what you're dealing with.

If you think your boss is going to be hard work about it, you can leave it a little longer, but best to say before you are obviously showing and are the subject of gossip. Have you thought about when you'd like to go off work? Both starting maternity and if you want to use up holiday allowance before you go off. It might help if you are able to have that conversation early on (although you don't have to confirm until closer to the date).

Countmyblessings · 05/02/2013 12:26

Cw- firstly Congrats on your wonderful news, hope these early days are good for you and not filled with sickness and huge bouts of feeling knackered!!!!!
Why would your manager be offended?
Depending on the job your doing I would maybe get advice from HR asking them - if someone is pregnant when do they have to inform work!
I was sick in my pregnancy early on and so was signed off! Had to send in sicknote to work and GP wrote "15 weeks pregnant with bad morning sickness" great so I called my manager to let her know and she was delighted for me!
Also if your manager has a negative reaction to your news and starts giving you stress I would maybe get advice on how to deal with that from HR too as you have rights and women get pregnant all the time and it has minimal effect on their job unless you work in a dangerous enviroment!
Please try not to stress and enjoy knowing that you will have a little person totally dependant on having a relaxed mummy!!!
All the best!

Original poster

cwtchontoast · 05/02/2013 12:42

Thanks for replying guys, I get the feeling he would make things difficult because he tends to have a strop about these sorts of things,
I had some time off with morning sickness about a month ago but it was self-certified so I just put 'nausea and vomiting' down and left it at that.

I am willing to accept that maybe I am being a little silly but I know he treated a previous colleague quite poorly when she told him but I don't know any of this for a fact as she'd left before I started.

Do I just ask him if he's got a spare five minutes, then blurt it out :S?
I will look into getting in touch with HR, is there a number I can find for them in work somewhere? I work in a small shop so there aren't any members of HR working there day to day.
Thanks-a-million guys :)

OP posts:

TwitchyTail · 05/02/2013 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wanderingalbatross · 05/02/2013 12:46

If your boss is going to be unreasonable, then he will be no matter how/when you tell him. But, remember that the law is completely on your side and it would be him being unprofessional if he were to make a fuss.

I told my boss by email outlining all relevant dates before officially informing HR. I also had thought through how to deal with my project at work, what I could reasonably get done before leave, and what I needed to do to leave it in a good state for others to pick up if necessary. That way I could answer any questions and knew I'd be able to leave on a good note.

Original poster

cwtchontoast · 05/02/2013 12:54

Thanks for all the great advice guys, I was sure no-one would reply haha.
Twitchytail, you are right, I need to lose this feeling of having done something wrong. I shall start putting plans in place re holidays and leave, and in the mean-time I shall look forward to my scan (only two weeks to go now, yayyy).
X

OP posts:

SlouchingPanda · 05/02/2013 13:10

Splendid advice from Twitchy. I second thinking about it from their point of view. What would you if you were in their shoes? No, you don't have to give them all the info now, but turning up and saying "I'm x weeks pregnant, due on y date. I am not 100% sure yet, and this is subject to my pregnancy being uncomplicated, but I would anticipate going on maternity leave at z weeks, and I am expecting to take howevermany months off" gives them something to vaguely plan around. If you need to consider changing your duties and/or hours now is the time to mention that too.

Remember, do NOT apologise. Good luck!

SlouchingPanda · 05/02/2013 13:11

And congratulations from me!

BraveLilBear · 05/02/2013 13:13

What twitchytail said

I was very much like that, petrified about how my bosses would react, but they've both been fantastic - even though it will give them a heck of a headache come the summer!

I would advise requesting a one-one meeting and be very professional about it. Outline in the meeting that you like working there and plan to return (if you think you will) and reassure him you'll do as much as possible to ease the handover to replacement.

If you get a negative or unfair reaction, HR will come down on him like a ton of bricks - it's against the law.

It may be he had a negative opinion of the prevoius colleague he reacted badly to. I woudl say, between now and the scan, be a cracking employee so he has no gripe to bring up, but that's just me!

Good luck. I'm sure it will go better than you think.

Bejeena · 05/02/2013 15:01

Congratulations!

I wanted to wait until the 12 week scan but I was suffering so badly with morning sickness and exhaustion that it affected my work so I told my boss, but only my boss, at 10 weeks. She was delighted for me and told me to make sure I took it easy and informed the team that due to a slight structure change I would be starting work later in the mornings (this was worst time for sickess for me)

For me it was the best thing to do. Of course I had the risk of my boss knowing if something did go wrong but in all honesty I think this would have affected my work too and I would have told her anyway.

It might not be so bad.

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