I know nobody can make this decision for me but do I have elcs or not?

[NeatFreak]

I'm currently pregnant for the third time. Dd was 7lb but was born by ventouse/episiotomy due to her being back to back. Ds was nearly 10lb and was also back to back but stuck, leading to emergency cs.

I am seeing the consultant next week and need to think about whether or not I request a cs. Midwife seems to think that if I want one this consultant will readily agree.

My gut instinct is to have a cs as I found the whole xperience with ds really traumatic ( I pushed for ages to no avail so went through labour then also had a cs and he was also stressed by it). However, I also feel like this is a bit of a cop out and I should give it a go. DH thinks if I can have a cs then that is what I should do.

I will have plenty of support at home post- birth and both older dc are at school so don't need to worry about picking up toddlers etc. I also found recovery from my last cs fairly straightforward but realise this isn't a given!

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice/ similar experiences?

I don't have experience but my words of wisdom are:

Even though as CS might be the safest option for the baby it isn't always for the mother. Since you have two children already this is something I would be taking into consideration over everything else. Of course it is a horrible thought to have but personally I wouldn't want to risk my other children growing up without their mother unless my life really depended on it. I personally wouldn't have an elective CS for this reason.

But everyone is different and has different opinions and reasons, many will disagree with me I am sure!

OP I'm in a similar position to you. Horrendous, traumatic delivery with ds & have been told I can have elcs if I want. I don't know, but I do know I couldn't go through the same experience again.

The main worry for me is the recovery time & not being able to lift ds, as he will only be 13 months when dc2 arrives. For me, I'm going to wait & see size & position of baby at my 34 week appt, as that was a huge factor in the probs last time.

I really feel for you, its v hard isn't it?

Obviously there are risks attached to cs as its major abdominal surgery, but childbirth is a risky business anyway....

I had ELCS for DD2. There was no way i was going to rely on the midwives again who ignored me in my first labour. If you have enough support at home to help you in the first few weeks, i would recommend ELCS. Stress free.

Thanks all. I guess I can wait and see how big baby gets and the position towards the end but I felt so out of control last time that making the decision to have a cs might give me some control and not worry about what might happen for the next few months!

I'm so indecisive!

Neatfreak, I had an ELCS after a first birth trauma and it went really well. Yes it is a major op and no walk in the park but both me and the baby were in a better state after the ELCS than the VB I had with my first. Would you be able to do a compromise? Let labour start naturally on the understanding that you would be able to request an CS if things aren't progressing as you would like?