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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

feeling utterly horrendous after health visit

122 replies

iamwhaticallpregnant · 22/01/2013 17:48

Today i was visited by a health visitor for first time. Im 37 wks. She was very very nice but she asked so many questions about past depression and the baby that I am left feeling shattered.
After a long chat i feel like
-my diet isnt good enough for the baby
-my house isnt warm enough/ready for the baby
-i am not ready or prepared for the baby

I couldnt answer Qs like what sort of parent do you think you'll be, what will it be like when you bring the baby home.

I havent been to any classes or read any books or surrounded myself with a support network - i have no support network. I feel that she thinks i am being abused by my partner and that i am isolated. I completely broke down because i am struggling with the loss of all of my friends since getting pregnant and moving away. My normal confident bubbly self was nowhere to be seen.

I am left feeling like a bad mother.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Badvoc · 23/01/2013 17:54

....and quite often the first sign of labour is...ahem...a it if a clearing out so to speak :)

Chislemum · 23/01/2013 18:34

never changed a nappy before either, nor held a newborn. you will learn quickly. ds is now 5 1/2 months and hey, house needs to be coldish, better for baby actually!!

ZolaBuddleia · 23/01/2013 18:34

Ooh! Wonder if your baby's coming!! Or is it all the fruit. Grin

You sound like you have a bit more oomph OP, good for you. I had no experience of babies or children either, I winged it, that's all we can do really.

Please have the baby today, we love a birth thread! Grin

Badvoc · 23/01/2013 18:37

Oooohhhh...I have to go to a meeting at 7.30. :(
Op, if you are in labour be a love and don't get too far along til I come back?
:)
Cheers!
We love a live birth thread on MN you know :)

henrysmama2012 · 23/01/2013 18:41

Ah poor you that is rubbish. I wouldn't have a clue what to say when I was 37 weeks pregnant, and also I was probably very hormonal at that point and would have cried v.easily!! Don't feel bad for feeling teary - she was obviously way too clumsy in her communication.

Our HV is actually not so bad, but she was always a bit obsessed with getting me to mummy and baby groups. She could never understand that I didn't fancy going. You do what you feel is right and you will do great. Keep posting on mumsnet - you are not alone! (-:

LexyMa · 23/01/2013 18:43

good luck!!! sounds like it's happening soon, but if these cramps turn out to be a bit of a dress rehearsal don't be downhearted.

I was living in an area well away from any of our friends or family when I had DS. I felt a bit antisocial and unbothered about baby groups but went to a couple and everyone was absolutely lovely.

You hinted at feeling depressed - your mum's advice not to let on to the HV is absolutely wrong and very dangerous. Let people help you and most of all make sure your DH knows how overwhelming it feels already for you because he is going to have to be your first line of support in the middle of the night when it is all amplified by about 10 times.

hugs. you're going to be brilliant

iamwhaticallpregnant · 23/01/2013 18:53

Yes I agree Lexy - she just called and said when the HV comes again after the birth you "must pretend to be happy and jolly and fine" - worst advice ever for a depressive I think. But that's my mother for you. I feel much better tonight after a good meal and all these messages.

Labour wise - still have a dull period like pain in lower back, peeing more urgent than usual and my stomach is rock hard which MW said was braxton Hicks at last app. But nothing else. I fear the end is not near.

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DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 23/01/2013 19:18

oh poor you! i can totally relate to the mourning for friendships lost, by life changing and being pregnant and friends drifting away etc. And when you are feeling so down, it makes it even harder to go out and connect with new people :-(

its a time of upheaval and change and of new beginnings, and it can be utterly overwhelming - and thats just the stuff about YOU, let alone the fact that you're going to have a baby too!

i think that why a lot of people over prepare for it all, to try and get some sense of control over a totally new and non controllable situation. thats why I'm saying don't stress too much over not having fallen into that trap!

what i found was that everyone is in the same position, once id got up the courage to go out there and start smiling at people, i found that lots of people were equally keen to make friends and meet up. Its a really special moment in life, when friendships aren't so closed and tied down, and its ok to say, 'hey, i don't know anyone, fancy meeting up?' without seeming like a scary stalker!

i did the nct thing as i was soooo terrified of not knowing what i was doing, and spending my mat leave alone with no one going through the same thing as me. The info was nice and comforting to have, though ultimately didn't help that much (except the trying out nappies on a doll, that helped!), what did help though was finding out that all the other mums were as nervous and worried as me. I also met people by going to the cinema (the one you can bring your newborn to) - that was great cos if i was feeling shy i didn't have to talk to anyone, i could watch the film and go and not feel like i was sticking out in any way. Also in cafes and in queues and waiting rooms, and at post natal physio too! New mums seem to be on the watch out for other new mums too, so although i wouldn't dream of talking to strangers normally, the whole vibe was a bit different. Having said all that, I am not bestest friends with them all now, but i am good friends with 2 of them, and thats plenty for me!

sooo, what i am saying is that its OK to be scared and alone, but if you just manage to get up the courage to go do a 'first time mum' type of thing, then you might find it easier than you think. AND its def not too late to start. would it be less scary if you A. took someone else with you to a meet -up or B. went to something that you DO something at, so its not all about the pressure to socialise (like the cinema thing etc). Can you frog march your dh to a NCT meet up in your area (they sometimes do just 'come have a coffee' things rather than having to do a whole expensive course)? OR will you tell mums net your approximate area, then maybe we can recommend the places to go that mums go to? if all else fails, have the baby then turn up to the local 'mums' cafes/ parks etc, i found having a new born was the ultimate ice breaker!

bigkidsdidit · 23/01/2013 19:27

I had never even SEEN a nappy being changed before DS was born. I had to change the first one, full of that sticky poo, in the hospital with the paediatrician standing behind me waiting for me to finish so she could check DS over. I made the most enormous hash of it and she had to help Grin

He's ok tough, and I am :)

The most important thing is to force yourself to go to groups or coffee mornings when the baby's here, I found that a bloody lifeline. We used to cry on each other and share nappy tips Grin

Hopefully you're in labour now and it won't be long... Good luck

iamwhaticallpregnant · 23/01/2013 19:31

Thanks Doublelife - she gave me some leaflets for antenatal classes near me (nearish) but it's just getting myself out of the door at the moment. it is so hard. all my confidence has been sapped away - i am a shell of my former self. i used to be the life and soul of the party. Now I find it hard to go to the local shop alone. Feel ridiculous but keep hoping once the baby is here I will feel different. It is on Tuesday - the class.

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iamwhaticallpregnant · 23/01/2013 19:32

Not in labour I dont think bigkid - I wish. Although BH are painful now.

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bigkidsdidit · 23/01/2013 19:34

Well we shall see!

Not that I know, I had to be induced

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 23/01/2013 19:36

oh and just from your last post - am SO glad you can see your mum is giving really dumb advice! Listen to the other mums on here, who are saying that at best a HV (or GP) can really really help if you are depressed, at worst they can be fools who say the wrong thing and you can avoid avoid avoid - but its not like anyone is going to come in and take your new born because you are depressed. its ok to be depressed you know, its not your fault, and it happens to a huge amount of mums (well, people in general really).

and my last point (sorry i do write long posts!) - you cannot possibly tell if you are going to be a bad mum from not being able to answer a few random questions! as someone else has said, feeling anxious about it all is probably a good sign, it means you CARE about it, and i suspect really bad mums just wouldn't think like that.

In spite of the massive preparation i did (total overkill, slightly embarrassing now!), i would have not been able to say 'what kind of mum i'll be'... and if pushed, i think my answer would have been totally wrong! I was prepared to not feel anything for the baby when he was first born, i was in horrible pain towards the end of my pregnancy, and my relationship with H was falling apart, and I had never touched a new born, not even once, let alone held one. I thought new borns were something you just had to get through to get to the good bit when the baby started to show some personality and did more interesting things! and I also thought i would be very strict on sleep and routine... in the event i was completely wrong on all counts! i am a complete push over, all touchy feely baby led everything. and ds had so much personality from the get go, and i was totally smitten. BUT i think i'd have been ok even if id not have fallen for him, cos i was expecting not to, if you see what i mean? but my point is, i had NO IDEA, and thats ok!

wanderingalbatross · 23/01/2013 19:40

The closest I came to a baby before DD was holding my friend's 6mo son for about 10 seconds before he started crying and I quickly handed him back. And the midwife had to do DD's first nappy change in the middle of the night as I was so clueless! But you do learn quickly :) and while newborns might cry at you, they can't move or resist so you have time to learn. Unlike toddlers who love nothing better than to run away mid nappy change giggling at you.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 23/01/2013 22:38

Both times I've had contractions for a few hours that felt exactly like bh, the only difference was that I could time them. They then went away and labour started a few days later, so don't be too upset if it doesn't happen tonight. Both tines I was an emotional wreck the day before too, spent 2 hours crying because DH had put the washing in the wrong place last time Blush.

Have you got a kindle or a kindle app? If so, I think you'd like this short story Smile

How are things now? Have you tried timing your cramps?

iamwhaticallpregnant · 24/01/2013 08:22

no sorry - no kindle.
i was in agony last night. my stomach was rock hard - really rock hard - and massive and painful. And the baby was having some sort of rave in there!!
Its not as hard this morning. I told the midwife last time that they dont come and go come and go - that there is this constant hardness and she insisted it was BH?! So cant time anything :-(

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iamwhaticallpregnant · 24/01/2013 08:26

jiltedjohn - read the synopsis and it sounds fab so may order it - thanks :-)

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Mosman · 24/01/2013 08:33

I think you have to go one of two ways, either ask for and accept help that's offered from MW's and HV's whatever that may be and accept that they will judge, will get it wrong and will delivery it clumsily at times or as your mother said put on a brave face, muddle through, read a lot of books and ask a lot on mumsnet too.
I did that latter and feel we came out the other end better for it, I know some mums still on AD's 6 years later due to "professioanl help"

Chislemum · 24/01/2013 08:58

just to say hello and having my fingers crossed for a speedy and easy delivery :) take it easy in the meantime!!

iamwhaticallpregnant · 24/01/2013 10:18

ah - thanks Chislemum - no sign yet - my friend's girlfriend has just given birth and I am so jealous - GET ... HIM.... OUT!!!

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SeeYouSoon · 24/01/2013 12:36

Crikey I can't answer a lot of those questions and my DS is 2.6!!!! I have no idea what kind of mum I want to be or how I bonded with him, I just got on and did it. Just like you will :) I can totally relate to how you are feeling as I spent the last part of my pregnancy weepy and not wanting to leave the house, a lot of it is just hormones going mental. I found pushing myself to go out even if just for a walk around the block really helped though.

I would say, try not to listen to your mum too much, she doesn't sound like she is very helpful to you the way you are feeling at the moment if I'm brutally honest.

Keep asking the widsom of mn for help though, there's always someone on here who has btdt.

iamwhaticallpregnant · 24/01/2013 13:29

thanks seeyousoon - no she is not very helpful at all when it comes to depression. feeling a lot better after all these messages. So i will know where to come when I feel on the edge again! Smile

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Badvoc · 24/01/2013 13:31

Oh...no baby yet?
I was sure you were in labour yesterday!
Or maybe you are in very early labour?

iamwhaticallpregnant · 24/01/2013 13:34

no - I am afraid not. No pains or anything today - grrrr......

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HeyHoHereWeGo · 24/01/2013 13:45

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