Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Is anyone having/ had a baby shower? How did it go?

30 replies

12ylnon · 21/01/2013 11:08

I'm 22 weeks at the moment and i'm being pestered by some of my friends to have a baby shower. I always look at them on Pinterest and Martha Stewart and think how lovely they look but at the same time, it's not generally done in the UK i'm worried it could look a bit... well... tacky and twee.
So- come and persuade me (or not if it was crap!). What did you do for your baby shower? Was it themed? Did you have games (if you mention the one where you have to eat a mashed up chocolate bar out of a nappy... just.... no)? How far into pregnancy were you? Was it friends and family? Just women? Did you register for gifts? And did you enjoy it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

curiousgeorgie · 21/01/2013 11:15

I know they're more of an American thing, but they're happening more and more in the UK.

My family threw me one when I was pregnant with my DD in 2010. Just at my mums house, female relatives and friends, cupcakes and wine (for them!) and I'd been quite vocal about not needing any presents. Although most people still brought them, it was more about seeing all my relatives and being excited! We played some silly games and did a weight / sex / length / hair colour / birthdate and time poll and my mum emailed them all when I had DD with the results it was lovely.

When my SIL was pregnant I did her more of a lunch, booked a table at a restaurant, decorated the table and had cards made with the same questions as at my baby shower and put them at each place and SIL took them home with her after, and even though again I said no presents required, I think everybody brought them.

Congratulations btw!

Hermionewastherealhero · 21/01/2013 11:18

I had one, my auntie threw it for me. We played a couple of games- doll dressing relay and guessing song titles related to the word baby or babe.
It was great. I was unsure at first but it was lovely to have close family and friends there, especially as I had seen them less over the last few weeks due to being stuck in with spd a lot.
Guests all brought books for the baby, I had said no gifts but they had aske my sister so her and my mum knew I would appreciate my baby's book collection getting to a good start.
Oh and my baby arrived 7 hours after the shower ended!

Hermionewastherealhero · 21/01/2013 11:19

Forgot, I also got people to bring baby pics and we guessed who was who

Emsyboo · 21/01/2013 11:34

A lot of my friends have had them but I haven't. I think they are lovely but a bit tacky if you do yourself, I think it is the sort of thing other people should do to cheer you up and celebrate the pregnancy.
I tried to organise one for my Sister but it went wrong as all her friends dropped out the day before but as it was a surprise she didn't know and wasn't upset. I would worry people would do that and the mum to be would end up very upset (mind you Sisters friends are knobs and did the same for her birthday and hen do).
I do think they are fun and can be low cost I spent a lot on games like - drinking games using baby bottles, guess the size of the bump, guess the gender, baby photos guess the baby and bib decorating. Shame it never happened :(

lurcherlover · 21/01/2013 12:54

I think the cardinal rile is that other people organise them for you, you never do it for yourself. To do so would look grabby. In the uk I also wouldn't register for gifts either - we don't have the shower culture that they do in the US and people might think it was a bit presumptuous.

havingastress · 21/01/2013 12:59

My friend through a surprise one for me when I was 32 weeks.

I hated it.

15 of my friends all in the kitchen waiting for me. None of them knew each other (not really) so awkward silences the whole 3 hours. Felt like I had to be the social queen and keep the chatter moving.

I was fat. Had no make up on or nice clothes on (because I didn't know it was happening and pregnancy was not much fun for me!)

Honestly. Felt like a huge chore. And yes, they brought lovely presents, but actually this just freaked the hell out of me - as if it was tempting bad luck and something awful would happen to the baby. Would MUCH rather have had the lovely gifts AFTER she was born.

The girl who organised it had done some games, but obviously I didn't know this, but by the time she got round to saying, oh shall we play such and such, people were leaving!!

All round - awful. Shudder.

rainand · 21/01/2013 13:17

I think it's a great idea! It would certainly cheer me up and would be a great chance to meet all my friends and family :-)

A blogger asked people to bring their favourite childhood book as a gift for her sister who was expecting. I think that's a great inexpensive idea!

Original poster

12ylnon · 21/01/2013 13:28

Love that idea too rain , but alas, DS1 has an absolutely HUGE library.... we have no more space for children's books! We went to a naming ceremony where everyone had to bring a poem or an illustration to put into a big book. I thought that was a lovely idea.
The reason i asked about registering for gifts is that we have a few bits and pieces left over from DS1. I'm also a childminder, so we have toys coming out of our ears. Hope it doesn't seem grabby, but to us, this makes more sense than 5 people all buying us adorable wooden shape sorters!

OP posts:

TwitchyTail · 21/01/2013 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrf · 21/01/2013 13:47

I think they are a lovely idea. I think people have to throw them for you, though, you shouldn't organise them yourself.

I would like to go to a baby shower, I think it's a nice American tradition which would be good to introduce here.

andadietcoke · 21/01/2013 20:21

My SiL registered at John Lewis. She was the first person I knew who was pg (with me as an adult) so I thought it was normal. Until last week, when I remembered about it and inwardly cringed.

I can see it would make sense for you, but please don't, and just accept the presents that are given to you graciously. For a lot of people, the joy in buying baby gifts is the choosing, especially if they don't have LOs themselves.

RubyrooUK · 21/01/2013 20:31

I've been to a few.

One for a close friend which was us having tea at a posh tea place and just a good excuse to get together and celebrate her upcoming baby. That was really nice - my friend also asked for all gifts after the baby was born, which we stuck to. We all got her something little for herself for the baby shower/tea.

The other baby showers were alright and some featured silly games but I felt a bit stupid playing these as we were all women in our 30s, many with kids already.

To be honest, I always find bit congratulatory baby showers a bit weird as the baby isn't there yet. Perhaps I am more sensitive than most as I've lost babies and know a couple of people who've had stillbirths so I felt a bit weird and nervous celebrating something which could go wrong as a done deal.

I've never met anyone who has had a gift list either. I just normally ask people who have kids already what they need so I don't double up on what they already have. If they don't have anything specific they need, I give them clothes which they can use (or give away) from somewhere nice.

amyboo · 21/01/2013 20:44

Can't possibly imagine anything worse than celebrating the arrival of a baby before he/she has arrived. But then I lost my DS2 at 36 weeks, so I've seen the dark side of pregnancy. Even before that I wouldn't buy gifts for friends' babies before they were born though - always felt so very much like tempting fate. And now I wouldn't believe of doing it....

RubyrooUK · 21/01/2013 20:52

Oh dear so sorry for your loss Amyboo.

I think it's worth adding that everyone who did have a baby shower who I know had never been affected by loss of a baby/stillbirth so they were probably not thinking with the same mindset as we have. But I feel much the same way as you; I'd never organise a baby shower for someone now - I'd rather organise something to be sent to them/given to them after the baby is born.

EwokStorageUnit · 21/01/2013 21:11

One of my sisters friends insisted on arranging one when there was a very distinct possibility there was going to be an issue with one of the babies - I was pretty much excluded because I voiced my opinion (i.e. I didn't think it being a surprise was a good idea and that she really needed to consult sis before doing it).

Like one of the other posters, I think that there's a degree of tempting fate.

btw, the baby was fine and I'm just a paranoid elder sister! (which possibly I shouldn't be proud of, but I was pleased that sis was told so she could put a bit of slap on ready for her surprise xx)

P.S. I understand that one of the games they played was "taste the poo" something to do with nappies smeared with things like peanut butter and mushed up chocolate... gross!

FergusSingsTheBlues · 21/01/2013 21:49

My idea of hell. But then, I couldnt even deal with a formal wedding, so just ignore me.

AlisonL1981 · 21/01/2013 22:17

My friend is throwing on for me in feb. she's holding at her house, a few nibbles, tea and cake and had told people if they want alcohol to bring it. She's had some games planned which she found when she googled baby shower. I'm doing the "party bags" as I didn't want her to spend too much. Search baby shower on eBay for some lovely decorations and party favours. Got some lovely party bag gifts from there, personalised sweets and candles etc with your name and bs date. Also got a lovely guess book from eBay for £7 the guests can guess babys sex, weight, dob, hair and eye colour, some words of advice etc and the book is also personalised.

AlisonL1981 · 21/01/2013 22:19

Also forgot to add I have an amazon wish list, if anyone wants to buy something they can pick from there

NAR4 · 22/01/2013 09:14

My work threw me a surprise baby shower for my last pregnancy. It was a buffet, decorated with congratulation signs and ballons, with a lovely basket full of baby things that they must have been collecting throughout most of my pregnancy. We didn't play any silly games, just enjoyed the buffet and cooed over the baby things as I opened them.

I used to work in a school and it turned out that even the children were all in on it and had kept it a complete surprise.

Its not something I would of thought to do myself, but really enjoyed mine.

kittykatsforever · 22/01/2013 09:41

I don't think you should organise one for yourself in my experience they have always been organised as surprises, mine was surposed to be at 38 wks but as dd came at 37 wks she was honorary guest and it was lovely, we didn't play games just had a buffet and drinks and everyone got to snuggle dd which saved me having to arrange times for 15 odd friends to come around separately! Can highly recommend after baby there's then no superstitions etc however all my friends have been pre baby!

GreenElephants · 22/01/2013 09:49

I had one organised by my 2 best friends. It was about 5 weeks before my due date and at my house even though I didn't have to lift a finger...it was just for a couple of hours on a sunday morning and was lovely. We played a couple of games and just had a nice get together really. It was really nice to see all my family and friends before I had DS and didn't see many people for a while.

katiecubs · 22/01/2013 19:13

Seriously Alison a wishlist on Amazon?! Cripes

Not keen myself - I mean if you want to get a gift then fine but throwing a party to 'shower' them on someone just seems pretty rude/presumptious IMO.

Jollyb · 22/01/2013 19:25

Haven't been to a formal baby shower, but in our group we have always arranged a nice lunch out for anyone about to give birth. The focus has always been very much on the woman rather than the baby and we usually give a present for them ie pyjamas or a voucher for a massage. I'm also a little superstitious about giving baby presents before the birth.

expatinscotland · 22/01/2013 19:28

I'm American by birth and have always found them distasteful. I never liked counting my chickens before they hatched, tbh.

expatinscotland · 22/01/2013 19:29

Oh, those ridiculous games, too! I would usually send along a gift and make an excuse just to get out of those twee, goofy games and making all that nonsense small talk, 'Oh, great, you're pregnant big deal!'

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread