4 hour drive to wedding at 36 weeks

[Emsyboo]

Hi Ladies
Looking for opinions as my sister is getting married in less than 4 weeks and I will be 36 weeks pregnant.

I have 3 problems;

1- I went in to labour at 36 weeks with DS this is second pregnancy
2- I have complete placenta previa grade 4 (completely covering the cervix) and an irritable uterus and for the past 7 weeks been working from home on limited bed rest
3- It is a 4.5 hour drive in good conditions (Cheshire to Plymouth)

If it wasn't my sister I wouldn't go but I have not had a bleed for 7 weeks (due to rest) I know there is a good hospital down there if anything happens but it still wouldn't be my hospital.

We cancelled my holiday abroad at 24 weeks as doctor wouldn't sign me fit to fly after a bleed at 22 weeks.

I have another scan in 2 weeks but chances are placenta won't have moved. If I have a heavy bleed or go into labour I need to get to a hospital immediately for a EMCS which is the problem with going.

Midwives and consultants give very mixed opinions from - yeah go just take your notes to not risking it at all.

What would you do?

If yours was looking to be a straightforward pregnancy, even if you had delivered your ds at 36 weeks, I'd say go with hospital notes etc.

Given that it's not and you've been on bed rest and may need to get to a hospital very quickly indeed, I wouldn't tbh.

Could your sister Skype from either the wedding or reception venue, so that you can 'join in' without any stress or risk?

Did your sis know your due date when she scheduled the wedding? Not v considerate if so.

I would be tempted to go but to break the journey frequently and move around a lot on breaks to reduce the risks from sitting in one place for hours on end. Def take notes & hospital addresses, and take it easy on the wedding day- dsis probably won't notice if you sneak off after the meal for example

No she booked the wedding before she found out we were pregnant, it was the only date she could get. I was supposed to be doing her photography but when we got the dating scan I cancelled thinking I would be too big.

I am concerned it is a bit risky and we could do facetime using ipads to watch the ceremony etc.

I really want to go and she really wants me there (although she is a bit bridezilla atm) we have looked into breaking the journey up and other methods of getting there but if we did go think driving would be the best option (as opposed to train or flights).

I think I am only considering it because I haven't had a bleed for 7 weeks, but that could change quickly. Also my last midwife appointment she said it would be fine so because I want to go I am taking her word more than the word of other midwives and consultants who have been against it.

Personally I wouldn't. I think you should weigh up whether going could be potentially inconvenient if something happens (e.g. discomfort or whatever) or whether it would actually be dangerous to you and/or your baby. If it's the latter then I really don't think it would be wise to go.

I think deep down I don't think it is a good idea and it scares me to think of what may go wrong, and even in a good situation having an EMCS so far from home would be difficult.
Most people have said if I go I should take the baby car seat just in case.
Doesn't look good for my sisters wedding I still have the slight hope my 34 week scan will show the placenta has moved out of the way but it is left lateral lying and no one really thinks it will in that time after it hasn't shifted a mm in 12 weeks. :(

No, risking an EMCS that far from home is not worth it. A 4 hour car journey with a fresh c-section scar would be awful.

It's a real shame but FaceTime is a good way of still being involved.

Hi there. Such a difficult decision but I would also say don't do it. I know it sounds ridiculous but there are other risks too. DH and I decided to to a 2 hour drive last week to see my Dad who is terminally ill as I knew it might be my last chance before the baby was born. I was 36 weeks and have lots of health complications - although perhaps not as many as you IYSWIM (hope that doesn't sound rude - its really not meant to be). Anyway, on the way back at about 9pm our car broke down on the M3. Now I know this is very unlikely (I don't think our car has ever broken down and it is relatively new etc.) but the AA gave a wait time of 3-4 hours and it was freezing cold and I was just genuinely quite scared. In the end we got home by about 1.30am and it was fine, but I'm just saying long drives do have their risks, especially in these conditions.

VickyU poor you! That must have been awful to be stuck! I'm glad you are ok.

My mum is concerned we would get stuck in traffic or break down she is very worried about the thought of us travelling - as mums do

Sister has a bit of jealousy with me she's just my step sister and feels the need to compete she is getting married at the same place I got married and think part of the reason she wants me there is to show off - its her special day so not too bothered but she already spat her dummy out when I cancelled the room at the hotel so someone else could take it opting for a travelodge with insurance do we could get money back. Everyone was very upset with her as she was putting a room over mine and babies health.

I really want to see her get married - for all her faults and bridezilla moments I do love her and want to see her happy.

I think if I hadn't had a good run I wouldn't even consider it but as I am feeling healthier I may be overlooking the risks for my own agenda.

With DS I didn't travel that late in pregnancy and we had a normal pregnancy. Thanks for all your advice I think you are telling me what I didn't want to admit but the risks are too high.
What I didn't mention is at 25 weeks the day before I had my bleed I had been driven to a meeting 2 hours there and 2 hours back which may have contributed to the bleed I have been banned from driving since 28 weeks when I lost my plug after period pains driving DS to a play date.

My god when I write it down like that it's a no brainer lol

Will be gutted but at least I have options thanks all x x

I think you've answered your own dilemma there op! It sounds too risky, especially if that long drive did contribute to your earlier problems. It's sad but honestly, you and your baby must come first. It's a long way from home for someone with a conventional pregnancy, never mind everything that has happened to you. Make use of technology, get loads of photos from people and make a big fuss of her when you do get the chance. If she is any sort of decent person she will understand. Good luck x

I know snowflake I think I was in a bit of denial so thanks everyone for helping me think clearer. x

I don't think your sis would be impressed if you stole her thunder by having a bleed during the wedding and needing to be rushed to hospital. Sell it to her as not wanting to detract from her big day with a potential emergency.

Good idea noblegiraffe :)

TBH she probably wants my DH there more than me as her BIL to be ha been horrible to her for years and very threatening and my DH although he is a big softy he is a champion kickboxer and works out a lot so pretty intimidating if he wanted to be. She wants him to hit her BIL to be although I would never let him and it isn't his nature as he only sees fighting as a sport I think she wants someone to scare her BIL to be a bit. This is perhaps another reason not to go! x

I honestly wouldn't go & if you were my patient I'd be recommending you don't go.

If you do go I would:

• take labour bag and notes
• find out addresses of nearest hospital. Where is venue? Think you need to be within 20 mins of a hospital not in the middle of nowhere.
• have DP/DH not drink & on stand by to drive you or if they are heavily involved in day someone else.
• have arrangements in place for DS, someone responsive to have him if you need to go in.

But I still wouldn't go tbh.

Thanks toobreathless good to have a professional opinion the hospital is 30 mins from the venue it feels middle of nowhere but not too far from civilisation in a car - been there before at my wedding with a kidney infection :( I don't have much luck with weddings. My whole family would be there for childcare but I think it is too risky and I don't want to ruin the day for people or risk mine and my baby's safety.

Hi - sorry going against the grain here I would (and did in a similar situation) go! I was 36 wks and had been bleeding - it was only a 3 hour drive and we weren't staying the night (DH was driving not me). I spoke to my Consultant directly who said if I wanted to go she wouldn't advise against but did recommend I took my hosp bag, notes, etc and if I had the smallest bleed go and get checked out.

I think if they were that worried about your pp (and associated bleeding) they would have you in hospital now which has happened to a number of my friends / people I know. If they are worried at the 34 week scan they will certainly do this and you will be in for the duration. If you are allowed to be at home then they obviously don't feel you are at unnecessarily high risk - I assume you are not within five minutes of your hospital at all times.

Otherwise you just need to be careful and be within an hour of a hospital - if you did get stuck in traffic or broken down you would call an ambulance were you to start a bleed and they would take you to the nearest hospital.

However if you don't want to go you shouldn't feel you need to.

Hiya thanks for your post
I am on a three strike rule at the hospital 1 more bleed and I am in. I am allowed out of hospital on the basis that I am on limited bed rest we had to argue this as me and my husband have our own business so I need to continue doing some work from home to make sure the business runs ok.
My mum is helping out a lot with DS and I have been taking it very easy since 25 weeks.
They do think I am less at risk than when I was last admitted as I was anaemic after the bleed and baby was measuring small but things had improved with iron tablets and steroid injections ( they thought the baby would come before 30 weeks at the time)
Hospitals have different policies my hospital is quite lenient on pp as the midwife told me if I was at her last hospital I would have been admitted. But I am thankful I have not been admitted as I am stir crazy enough not leaving the house!

I appreciate your position and glad it worked out for you but I think I have decided it is too risky for me I would never forgive myself if something went wrong.

Obviously we have our 34 week scan and consultation in a few weeks so will know more and can change my mind if we get some sort of miracle but I don't want to spend the next 2 weeks getting excited about a wedding I am not going to its hard enough not being able to do anything for fear of bleeds x

I travelled 4 hours to attend a wedding when I was 34 weeks pregnant but I didn't have the risks you have.

This was with ds2, I was booked for an elective c section but I also had to look at every hospital en-route to check whether they had the facility to be able to deliver me by c section rather than just a midwifery unit.

So I was basically pregnant, all fine and just needed a c section.

You have to look at the worst case senario, if you bled you would be hospitalised in the nearest hospital, and if your baby is early then he/she may be in SCBU for a while too. You could be hours away from your home and family.

It is honestly not worth the risk for you.

If you were my sister, (or half sister) I'd tell you to stay home. I couldn't bear having to live with the thought if something went wrong.

Thanks ladies
I am not as high risk as some people my friend had pp which turned out to be placenta acreta and she had a hysterectomy and EMCS at the same time this was at 26 weeks and she was hospitalised from 22 weeks bless her.
I am not as high risk as people like her but knowing what could go wrong scares me more.
I can hope for the best and have until the day before to cancel the travelodge but I don't think the risk is worth it my
Mum had already arranged for me to have a wheelchair for the wedding and all midwives said if I went to take the car seat in case. It isn't just about what could go wrong but making a scene on her day if I had a bleed or went into labour and being stuck 4.5 hrs from home after EMCS.