Feel like nobody understands!

[cupcake78]

I'm having a bad day. I'm at the same stage in my pregnancy that I was when I lost my ds. 16+5.

It was a horrible time and I always knew this time would be extremely hard.

The truth Is I've felt ok about it until today. It's come and hit me so hard today. I know what my baby would look like if I was to see it today. I know how big it would be, the colour shape etc.

I'm not only scared of the prospect of the same thing happening I'm also aware there is nothing I can do about it if it did.

I feel like nobody else understands. I can't talk to my friends about it as they are either pregnant or trying and not managing.

Nobody else I know has been through this and I'm feeling very lonely!

I can't imagine how you're feeling, but didn't want to leave your post unanswered, can I send a hug? A hand hold? Or a (decaf)

I'll hold a hand cupcake, it must be awful for you. :-( I lost our first baby at nearly 13 weeks in September and although I'm not yet pregnant again, I know from the minute I get a bfp it will be a living hell! How have you been since finding out you were pregnant again? I'm so worried about it!

Can you talk to your OH? I guess you must remember that it is highly unlikely for it to happen again and that you will be holding a lovely new baby in a few months time. But that's easy for me to say I know, nothing would console me either, just didnt' want to leave you feeling lonely at this ungodly hour! Xx

My oh isn't brilliant to talk to about this. He gets very upset about the baby we lost and doesn't like thinking about it. He knows what's going on and how I feel but isn't very good at listening to things like this. He deflects the conversation if it upsets him.

I've decided to stay at home today as I'm shattered, have only slept 3hrs. I'm self employed so can move work around reasonably easily some days.

It's going to be a rough few weeks I think

I'm so sorry to hear about your 1st DC. It is incredibly difficult and will make this pg very hard, particularly now because it's the same time that you lost your first.
There isn't a lot I can say other than accept it isn't going to be easy and try and talk to your MW or a friend if you can - have you had your 16 wk appt yet?
Hopefully it will get slightly easier for you as your pregnancy progresses - my dd died aged just 2 days, just over a yr ago (she had been starved of oxygen) so I do understand how you are feeling. I will be 24 wks tomorrow and am breaking this pg down into 'stages' or milestones (24 wks and viability is my current one, then it will be 28 wks) and just trying to take it 1 day at a time - its all I can do.
If necessary, speak to your GP and see if they can refer you for some counselling.
Take care.