Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to my post. Elliejjtiny, DreamingOfTheMaldives, Grainmum, backwardpossom, dontmixthecolours, lurcherlover and SophieBirkBirk, I am so very sorry to read of your losses and my heart goes out to you.
This is the first time I've been back on Mumsnet since I last posted because it's taken me a while to be able to talk and write about losing our baby without becoming distressed.
In the end I decided to opt for being given suppositories, which didn't work, followed by four lots of drugs orally, which didn't work either and after 29 hours I was taken to theatre for a D&C. If I was unlucky enough to find myself in this situation again I would opt for going straight to the D&C.
My husband and I live/work in the Middle East and the manner in which I was treated whilst in the hospital was degrading, disrespectful and dehumanising. We've drafted a letter of complaint to the appropriate hospital departments, however, we've been advised by our equivalent of a GPs' surgery, that lodging such a complaint is absolutely pointless. Apparently others who've complained, including the GPs themselves, have received absolutely no response or acknowledgement whatsoever!
Along with being made to wait the best part of an hour for pain relief on three occasions, despite the fact the medication had been written up for me by my obstetrician in advance, I was also left in stirrups in the operating theatre, before I was anesthetised, completely uncovered, with my private parts exposed to every person who walked past the open OT door. This went on for some time while the anesthetist and two nurses argued over me about whether I should or shouldn't have my legs in the stirrups before/after I was anesthetised. They were also arguing about whether I should be given a GA or conscious sedation. In addition to this, several of the nurses who 'cared' for me on the ward clearly had a serious aversion to even a small amount of blood and became incredibly panicked whenever they happened across any. One even asked me, 'Why are you bleeding so much?', which was unbelievable, but, not as unbelievable as the nurse who asked me, 'Are you pregnant?', or, the nurse who asked me, 'Where are all you children, are they at school?' and THEN TOLD ME OFF (!) for crying as I explained I had no children and my baby was dead inside me.
My husband and I attended our follow-up appointment and scan with our obstetrician a few days ago and formally complained to him regarding all of the above. He apologised and promised he would address all of the issues I'd encountered. However, we're now looking for a new obstetrician because there were pieces of advice he imparted that were laughable at best and downright negligent at worst. After advising me not to get pregnant until I'd had three periods, he told us to use a condom or the withdrawal method!! I asked him to clarify what he meant by the 'Withdrawal Method' and after it was patently clear that he meant what I thought he'd meant, I told him that it most definitely was not a form of reliable contraception. His reply was that it would work if we were determined enough and that we should trust in Allah. As my husband and I are both Atheists, with much more than a basic comprehension of anatomy and physiology, we were less than impressed. He was also unable to explain exactly why we need to wait for three periods before we try to conceive again.
All in all losing a baby was hard enough without all of the above and I'm now more than a little apprehensive about the thought of having a baby here in Saudi Arabia in the future, should we be lucky enough to conceive again. I had endometriosis for 22 years before it was diagnosed and I received any treatment to help preserve my fertility. If one more health 'professional' out here erroneously tells me that having a baby will cure my endometriosis, I will not be responsible for my actions!
Thank you for reading if you've made it this far. It's good to know that there are other women on here who truly understand.