First pregnancy, am terrified and step-son reaction

[BabyOuch]

Hi am new to all this. I am 6+3 days and have my first meeting with midwife tomorrow. I am so terrified all the time, thought pregnancy would be enjoyable. I constantly read things about miscarrying etc and checking for bleeding all the time. OH has offered to pay for private scan at 8 weeks to try and put my mind at rest. Anyone like this?

Also OH has 7 year old son from previous relationship, we have him 4 times one week and 3 the other. I have good relationship with him. But am worried about his reaction to me being pregnant. We will tell him after 12 week scan xx

8 week scan won't make any difference to your miscarriage risk, so depends how worried you are? 12 weeks is when the risk is generally accepted to have gone down because that's when the placenta has formed. Your relationship with your step son will change but you may have to get him used to the idea. I've not got any step children but I have a very nearly 4 year old and our daughter no 2 is due in early May - and I'm worried about how out relationship will change! So you are in good company

I disagree, a baby seen with a heartbeat at 8 weeks significantly reduces your risk of a miscarriage.

Firstly, congratulations!!!

I understand how unnerving it can be, I remember feeling like I could never have enough scans to convince me that everything was okay. But am now 31+3 and feeling ready to burst already, so trust me you're in good company :)

If you share your fears with your midwife, she might book you in for an early scan (I had one at 7+2 weeks due to two earlier miscarriages and some bleeding in this one). But trust me, unlike you're having severe cramps and bleeding, your little miracle is probably nicely nestled and preparing to grow!

I was worried about my step children's reactions too (I have two, 14 and 9) but they were both really, really excited. Might be an idea to Google ways of telling yours as he is an only child it might be a little different.

Good luck and keep us updated!

As Foof says a healthy scan at 8 weeks is a very good indicator that the pregnancy will continue - I think around 90-94%. This rises to 95-98% at 12 weeks.

If you are worried enough to start a thread like this, I think you should take up your DP's offer. I wouldn't have it before 8 weeks though. Good luck .

I've read that a hb at 6-8 weeks reduces risk of mc to 3-5% and 9 weeks+ reduces further to 1% which is the risk level throughout the entire pregnancy.

That is really interesting (and reassuring) foof, where did you get that data from?

Hi all many thanks for your replies. I saw midwife for first time yesterday and she said if I am that worried then booked privately and have the scan at 8 weeks, which will be a week Tuesday. She recommended a private local clinic that has an excellent reputation. I am very stressed about how the baby is doing and think the seeing the blob and the heart beat will reassure me, although I do know that I can still MC after this. I just really need the reassurance, no Mum around and older sister has no children.
Yes I think when the time comes we will have to sit him down and explain as carefully as we can about the baby but all our lives will change, his included. I just hope he is excited rather than freaked out.
Thanks for your support xx

I'm sure you'll do this anyway, but try to include him as much as possible in the pregnancy and make him feel really special about being a big brother. It's a good age gap because he will understand what is happening and you can explain things to him. Congratulations by the way x