Shock result...

[Whitetara]

Hello ladies

I was wondering if any of you had had the experience of a) an unlikely pregnancy which b) coincided with having just started on a new career and had hardly made any inroads into that and/or c) having to withdraw early from a work project that you've been specifically hired for 2 months early...???

Hi
I found out I was pregnant a week or two after accepting a job offer (I'm a teacher), I was mortified!!! But I told my prospective employer straight away and they have been v supportive. I don't qualify for SMP and a few people have been quite unpleasant about it, snide comments etc but my head of department and managers etc have been really supportive!
Hope this helps xxx

Hi and congratulations. How far along are you?

I'm glad to hear your employer is supportive, but what a shame people couldn't have kept their snide remarks to themselves. I only just got my result after work today, and it's exceptionally early days (early test but was too anxious to wait), but should this bean stick, I've no idea how I will tell people. I'm not sure I want to drop this bombshell right now especially as I've just come back this week from sick leave... I also have two part times jobs, and both are new since the summer/autumn. I don't know whether to laugh or cry...Hubby is over the moon though, although initially quite taken aback.

I got pregnant 10 days into a new job/career move. Am 21 weeks now and have just told the business. Line manager has been great (new mum herself) but a bit apprehensive about reactions from elsewhere, especially as I'm still in probation! She has warned me they might be tricky to deal with. We'll see... as long as I keep the job I'm hoping I can put up with any bad attitude that might get slung my way. Try not to let it worry you too much, you'll manage, and what fabulous news! Congrats!

Whitetara, I'm 35 weeks now and go on maternity leave on Saturday!! The snide comments have been tough and lots of extremely personal questions!! If its early days, keep it to yourself for as long as you like. I found it stressed me out too much not telling them so just had to. It's just one of those things and legally, your employer(s) have to be supportive, they don't have to be happy about it but they can't sack you or anything!! Just be open and honest when the time comes. The only thing for me is, I have felt under a great deal of pressure to keep my pregnancy from interfering with my new job eg hospital/midwife appointments out of school time and I'm going back in September which is earlier than I wanted.
Massive congratulations on your pregnancy you must be so pleased!xxx

I'm not sure how I feel right now, although there is a little inward smile. I so didn't want or expect this right now, though. In a few months time, maybe, and timed with the end of my contract. But as it's turned out, I feel really bad about it and am worried it might well finish my career in the temporary job as I don't think there are many of them around. I can't help feeling this looks really bad especially as they're expecting me to complete the project they've hired me for...the big boss has devoted her life to her work and has no children of her own and my line manager, although lovely and non-judgemental in general, doen'st have children either and I'm worried about telling her nonetheless, given what I've just said and how much faith she's put in me.

The other job is permanent but on less hours and there are more mothers in the office - my line manager has 4 children. I think there was someone else in the same role as mine who had it happen a while back and people have just said that she went on maternity soon after starting, but not in any nasty way, and there is someone else in my office as well in a similar position, so it does seem to happen. My main concern is that I've only just finished my training and I've hardly had time to consolidate my skills, plus I'm worried like with the other job as coming across as uncommitted.

I keep looking at the test result, which I deliberately chose for showing words rather than lines and have the words "Pregnant 1-2" looking back at me. I can hardly believe what I'm seeing.

That's all totally normal feelings!! I felt the same, we weren't trying (but also weren't preventing) as we thought it would take months due to being told that! But 2 months off the pill...
You just have to tell them and hope for the best, perhaps the sooner you tell them the better, as that shows you're thinking about the job? It's so hard to advise when I don't know the people or your situation in detail but all I can say is you need to put yourself first and make sure you look after yourself. Work will have to deal with it!!
It's so exciting!! Quite sweetly I found one of the positive pregnancy tests in my husbands bed side table a few weeks ago. You have so much to be excited about so allow yourself to be and don't feel guilty. Remember you will still be working for/with them for quite some time before baby comes, show them how amazing you are and they will realise you're worth the wait in the long run

Thank you, Simbaandblue. Those are very touching comments and you are right about showing extra commitment now. What a lovely thing to find in the draw, so sweet.

Found out I was pregnant four days after being promoted. Boss very supportive!

Be ready to do a decent handover and do lots of prep for your return!

Wow, funnyhoneyface, that's a congratulations on two fronts. It's such a juggle, being a woman, I think sometimes.

Myfriendgoo, thank you for sharing that. At 21 weeks, I'm impressed you've managed to keep it under wraps. I hope that it does go ok with you when you do tell them. It is tricky being on probation and suspect that I am in at least one if not both of my jobs.

This exact same thing happened to me -found out I was pregnant just after I started two new projects and launching a new career direction. Would have been great to have found out a month earlier, when I was still employed in the public sector with great benefits ... My due date is even the project completion date for one of my contracts!

I found the best way to deal with it was:

1. Research your rights (or lack of) and be ready to answer all questions relating to how much it will cost your employers in terms of time and contractual commitments.
2. Have a plan ready about how you will deal with it, including when you want to go on maternity leave and come back, and any keep in touch days. That way you will not be railroaded into making commitments you don't really want to make.
3. Offer to recruit and train your replacement. In my experience as a manager, the only thing that stops you being happy about someone having a baby is the hassle of replacing them. Taking this strain off your manager's hands makes a huge difference.

All my colleagues/ employers etc. have been pleased for me (publicly anyway!) and I've managed to set up a healthy maternity leave and keep some opportunities open for me when I return.

This is a totally personal thing, but I've also been quite open about the fact that it wasn't planned. Not exactly unplanned, but we'd been trying for 3.5 yrs so although we weren't 'being careful' I was convinced we couldn't conceived naturally.

I'm 17 weeks and when I tested, I burst into tears and was in a right state of panic. Our family was supposed to be complete, DH is 52 this year and really didn't want any more, I'd taken on loads of new children in the couple of months previous (I'm a childminder) and everything was looking better and we had plans for sorting some debt problems etc. It felt like the worst thing that could have happened but I knew I had to go ahead so tried to feel ok about it. I had to tell 13 families that I would be quitting childminding when this one came along (some been with me 5/6 years), it means my 2 boys will have to share a small room with bunk beds and have their toys downstairs in what is currently the childminding playroom but they are very excited. I've had to get my head around the fact when this one is due I'll have a 10 year old and 5 year old and be going back to sleepless nights etc. but this baby is now very much wanted and I couldn't stand anything going wrong! I believe things happen for a reason and that things will work out in the end.

Congratulations, all will be fine! :)