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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

2 more weeks til mat leave...struggling

17 replies

stowsettler · 07/01/2013 10:01

I'm 34+5 today and am meant to be finishing work on Fri 18th at 35+2, but boy am I struggling now. I have a 35min commute either way, which I usually like but of course it means getting up extra early - something I'm finding harder and harder to do as sleep becomes more elusive.
I'm really tempted to finish at the end of this week, but that just seems quite early. I mean, just over 35 weeks means that I could have about 7 weeks of hanging around before Nipperette arrives. I think I'd go mad, not to mention kill DP who works from home.
What should I do? Just bite the bullet and carry on? Finish on Friday and be damned? I'm in a quandary...

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TwitchyTail · 07/01/2013 10:18

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PhieEl06 · 07/01/2013 10:22

If you feel you need to finish early do it, give yourself sometime to put your feet up, from your post you sound like you need it! Relax its not early at all, maternity leave is there for a reason, I know someone who took her mat leave at the earliest possible date she could, 12 weeks before baby was due! & trust me I'm 12+1 today, not due till July & if I could have time off now I would, I am currently sitting at my desk at work feeling sorry for myself because I have back ache & I need to wee a lot!!(ladies toilet is up 3 flights of stairs) Just go for it, make the most of the time you could have off!!

emsyj · 07/01/2013 10:57

I was a bit like this last time and I finished a week earlier than planned, at 36+4. DD was born at 37+1, which meant I had a long weekend and then she was there!!! If I'd carried on working to 38 weeks as planned, my waters would have broken on the train home .

I'm now 36+1 with DC2 and struggling, but have a work exam in 2 weeks so am battling on (hopefully) until 38+3 - if I didn't have this sodding exam, I would have finished at Christmas.

If you're fed up and feel that you want to start mat leave, just do it. Not everyone goes overdue, you may only get a few days or weeks to relax before baby arrives.

ceebeegeebies · 07/01/2013 10:59

Do you have any holiday you can take...maybe a couple of days a week for the next 2 weeks to shorten the weeks?

PunkyPod · 07/01/2013 11:13

Can you work from home OP? I worked til 39+1 but my midwife insisted I do the last 2-3 weeks predominantly from home so I went to the office once a week (1 hour commute each way to London). DD arrived on EDD
Ultimately if you are really struggling then the best thing to do is finish up. Enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy as much as you possibly can and good luck!

Original poster

stowsettler · 07/01/2013 11:39

Thanks everyone. I'm officially finishing at 37+2 but already have 2 weeks' leave tagged on to the start. Can't really work from home, I'm a GP practice manager and really need to be on site most, if not all of the time.
I suspect I'm going to have to just get on with it, although I may take your advice TwitchyTail and come in later for these last 2 weeks. I have about 2 big pieces of work to finish before next week - if I can get these done ASAP I suppose I can just sit at my desk and surf the net!

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Snowflakepie · 07/01/2013 11:54

I got so many comments about being bored when I finished at 25 weeks (4 weeks hols then mat leave from 29 weeks) but it was anything but! It was wonderful! But then no DH under my feet like you have. I saw it as my last proper break before DD arrived and just enjoyed reading in bed, watching films, drinking hot drinks, finishing off craft projects, making sure I was really sorted with baby stuff and generally being lazy. Plus Christmas fell in that time so there was a lot happening. You will find things to do, I'm sure. This time I will finish at 32 weeks but I only work weekends so not very stressy, and I am only going then because I have to take all my holiday for the new financial year beforehand owing to timing. Talk to your employer, explain how you are feeling. If you have some work that needs to be finished I'm sure they would rather you were in work to do that, than to finish completely and leave it. So a later start might be all that you need. Obviously it depends on the situation but some work is better than none in most cases. Good luck x

leannac · 07/01/2013 12:14

No advice but sympathy. I am 33wks with DC2 & felt like alternately weeping/vomiting when I had to leave the house this morning at 5.30am for my early work shift. I've only got 3 wks to go til mat leave but it feels like forever! We can do it! More time off with new baby will be lovely. Although at this grumpy uncomfortable stage I am thinking about not coming back at all!!!

maximusminimus · 07/01/2013 12:40

I wouldn't finish now - it's a long time still really..

Can you negotiating starting (and finishing) later or working from home? In hindsight, I wish I'd done that first time around: worked from home until mid-morning and then commuted in after rush-hour. Not sure if that'd work for your job, but it would have helped me.

And make sure that you get a seat on your commute! I didn't, ended up fainting (packed train into London in July), and having to go on mat leave early anyway.. (only by a few days though fortunately)

LittleBlueBox · 07/01/2013 13:06

Sympathy from me as well. I'm 32+1 and already finding work difficult. Not sure I can imagine getting to 34 weeks and still working at this rate.
If you can get (and afford) the time off I would take it. Assuming this is your first baby you'll never have this chance again. In a couple of months you'll be in babyland and the idea of having 7 weeks just you and dp will seem like a dream. It might seem like a long time at home, but it'll leave you well rested and ready to put all your energy into caring for dc.

In five years time are you really likely to look back and say, 'gee I wish I'd stayed at work those extra 10 days'??

Original poster

stowsettler · 07/01/2013 13:49

:-D LittleBlueBox I suspect I'll never say that!!

Trouble is they rely on me quite massively - not blowing my own trumpet, but it's was years since they had someone in the job before me who's been anywhere near competent. Although, my efficiency is currently about 40% what it usually is....

I think I'm resigned to sticking it out - with the caveat that I may start a bit later if I need to. The good thing about being one of the bosses is I can just come in when I want (within reason).

Good luck to everyone in the same boat!!!

OP posts:

plonko · 07/01/2013 16:03

Massive sympathy from me, I know the feeling and it's horrible. How flexible can your workplace be? For instance, my work were not at all accommodating beyond signing me back into the working time directive but essentially expecting me on my feet for 40 hours a week. The result was several mornings hiding in toilets, evening commutes home in floods of tears and feeling sick all the time. Working from home/more flexibility was just not an option. I went into work one day, tried to struggle on but ended up leaving that afternoon.

Sorry for the essay! It was very sudden but it really helped. I didn't realise how bad I felt until I stopped work.I don't care if other women work until their due date - the fact is that I could not have done that. Much more fun to be at home getting things ready for baby! Not saying you should do this too, but if what's the point struggling on needlessly? A weeks pay? Your health is more important!

LittleBlueBox · 08/01/2013 02:45

stowsettler that sounds like a plan. You've got to take advantage of being a boss every now again. It certainly sounds like you've earned it!

And I hear you about how much they rely on you. But they're going to have to get used to doing without you pretty soon either way aren't they?

MooseBeTimeForCoffee · 08/01/2013 02:48

Sick note? :)

MollyMurphy · 08/01/2013 03:09

If you can get off somehow I would. I was given this advice, didn't follow it and ended up having our son at 35 weeks, with not even ONE day off. You'll never get this time to prepare and enjoy your own company again. I believe I contributed to my sons early delivery by pushing too hard when I could tell my body was ready for a leave. just my own experience.

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas · 08/01/2013 03:24

If you need to finish a little earlier please do it, don't knacker yourself out before the baby comes. You don't need extra pressure.

Re work they are going to cope whilst you are off an extra week or two is not the end of the world.

Yes it could be 5 more weeks, it could also only a week or two!

Original poster

stowsettler · 08/01/2013 09:02

If I'm honest it's not my body that's struggling so much, it's my mental attitude: I'm eager now to get work over with, I'm losing motivation and I'm dying to move on to the next (far more important) phase of my life.
Yes the early starts are hard - but I'm a naturally early riser, so even if I did finish work I'd probably still be getting up at 6am. And I know full well that I'd worry about things I've left unfinished if that was what I did.
I have tomorrow and next Wednesday off, so at least it's only 3 sets of 2 days left after today. Looking at it like that, it doesn't seem so daunting!
Thanks again to everyone - I will be doing the bare minimum whilst I am still in work, of this I can assure you!

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