Advice please - holiday + early pregnancy + anxiety!

[Gingerbreadpixie]

DH and I fell pregnant in our first month of trying, which was quite unexpected! I am 6 weeks along now. The baby is very much wanted but I have since been struggling with extreme anxiety and OCD over "contamination" and infecting the baby - toxoplasmosis, listeria etc. I'm only just starting to relax a bit more with what im eating but have a long weekend to Bruges with DH coming up in a few weeks. I'm wondering whether to cancel. We'd be eating out there for 3 days and I think having to eat food that I haven't prepared/can't check is safe is going to be a big source of stress for me. Especially as France, Belgium etc has much higher rates of toxo than uk.

Is it OK to cancel? We would lose some money in travel, but not a huge amount. Hotel can be cancelled free. I'm just thinking that if I'm starting to relax and settle into things, why jeopardise that by putting myself in a situation where I'm terrified to eat anything - undercooked meat, unwashed vegetables/salad, unpaturised milk/cheese etc

On top if this I'm starting to get much stronger nausea and am T1 diabetic to boot. So if I get morning sickness over there and throw up it's a lot more complicated than for non-diabetics (dehydration and hypos a risk).

i think it's justly too early and I need more time for the pregnancy to settle in before challenging myself too much. But I feel bad for DH, though he says he'd rather not go than go and me be upset for 3 days.

Dilemma :(

Do you need to cancel now? I'd suggest you see how you feel in a couple of weeks time. Wanting to cancel because you feel really rough would be fair enough, I think.
However, wanting to cancel for the food issue would be a bit OTT, I think. While it is sensible to take a bit more care over what you eat in pregnancy and avoid problem foods like seafood or raw egg, the level of obsession with food which results in cancelling a holiday so you don't have to eat out is a level of anxiety which will be problematic if it continues for the whole pregnancy.

Thanks for the reply noble.

I am currently in counselling and have my doctor on "standby" with antidepressants if it gets to the point that I can't overcome these problems. However I want to try to get past this with counselling and relaxation therapies and not meds if I can. I'm in complete agreement that the behaviour is OTT. But that's the nature if OCD and anxiety disorders unfortunately. I'm just wondering if its too soon to try and tackle all my fears at once during this delicate time. (I also don't travel too well!)

I do have a week or so to decide though. I don't have to decide right now. Maybe I'll see how I go. I have definitely relaxed a bit in the past few days. If it continues maybe I'll feel better about it nearer the time?

Cancel it if you wont enjoy it due to the pregnancy

with my first pregnancy I refused to cancel/turn down anything as I felt I had to prove I wasn't a whinger (mainly cause I had a horrible friend at the time who would constantly compaire me to people who climbed mountains and ran marathons when pregnant, and who would slag off anyone who turned down anything due to being pregnant )

• I didn't enjoy the travelling I did (pre booked), shoulda cancelled it! felt I had to go to show that I wasn't being prescious!

this time I have no problem cancelling or turning down stuff that I could do, but would just enjoy a bit less than normal

Bruges is beautiful, I spent one day there with school. I've dreamt of going back ever since.

I'm certain food standards in Bruges will surpass those in my slightly scruffy midlands town.

Take a deep breath and go, pretty cities are hard work with DCs. Mine just want a warm pool and beach and refuse to do culture!

Hence still wanting to go to Bruges!

Hi.
I to suffer from severe anxiety I am convinced something will still go wrong and I'm 20 weeks tomorrow! So I totally understand how u feel. We feel pregnant on our first month of trying to after 3 Mc and one DD. but we had our honeymoon booked to go to Egypt and I was absolutely terrified to go. One I hate flying and two the food out there is horrendous! U can't go there without getting a tummy bug. I couldn't cancel tho because my husband needed a break and we had already lost lots of money on our actual honeymoon as we had to cancel for health reasons at the time. So wen we went to Egypt I was 6/7 weeks pregnant. Over the week I kept hand sanatiser on me at all times and constanly used it I didn't eat n e thing that was washed in there water only ate rice and beef as I knew u can tell if it was cooked or not and bread and crisps and I was fine! No bad tummys and here I am at 20 weeks and touch wood everything is still ok. It's totally up to u wether u go or not. But maybe it'll do u good to get away take ur mind of things and enjoy one last holiday before baby comes. Don't let ppl tell u want to do u know wether u can handle it or not. Maybe take food with u in ur luggage that u know u will be happy to eat incase u don't feel like eating at resturants. This is was I did to. Ull make the right choice for u :-) congratulations and good luck x

Thanks for the replies. All very valid points and much appreciated. :)

i think it's all going to boil down to how I feel nearer the time. Luckily DH is being very understanding and not pressuring me. The trip is for his birthday. If we don't go I'll make it up to him with fabulous presents and dinner at his favourite restaurant!

Hopefully I'll feel strong enough to go though. I do like the idea of getting away from it all!

Twitchy - he could possibly go with a friend or his brother. I'm going to look into how feasible this is. Thx :)

If it helps I hate flying and flew to Thailand at 12 weeks pregnant which was 2 weeks ago for a friends wedding. Dreaded it but did me world of good. Flight was fine and ate sensibly and had amazing food.

Bruges is a fantastic city with food standards to rival anywhere in UK so you have nothing at all to worry about there. Your decision but think you and your husband would be really pleased you did it in hindsight.

I think it's the anxiety of the unknown more then what you will be faced with, there is so much food you can eat that could in no way be effected, think of lovely croissant and bread etc, yes it might effect some of your choices on eating out like choosing a sandwich rather then eating out but shouldn't affect the whole Holliday, I have been to Egypt twice while pregnant and never had a dicky tummy when really its the most notorious place not to go but by sticking to common sence ie no water or things washed in water it was fine, I think it would be a Shame not to try if it's your dh bday but it comes down to your decision at the end of the day and what your happy with x

If it is really causing you a lot of stress, of course cancel. But if you consider the risks, they are easy to avoid. There are also excellent hospitals, in case you really need them. A lot of people in France and Belgium have toxo because it's common to eat undercooked meat - don't eat it. If worried that some cheese might be from raw milk then you can also avoid cheese. There will still be plenty of totally safe things to eat and Bruges is not really a high-risk area.