Positive advice needed for single mummy!

[TruckerRobyn]

Hello! I'm due May 18... I'm 21 weeks today and going to be a single parent after my partner left me (he ready had a 7year old)

Found out yesterday i'm having a little girl - i've had 3 scans
8 weeks
12 weeks and
20 weeks

I have a foetal doppler and my baby bump is now starting to show properly. I have brought my moses basket and a few clothes etc... Always talking to my bump and looking at scan photos. My little girl is such a wriggler and really kicks hard all the time. I've just moved back in with my parents so i'm not alone and have someone to get excited with til after baby is born and i get my own place.

I'm very maternal and always wanted a baby and i couldn't have been more excited when i found out (after the stress of him leaving me)

...yet i still don't feel pregnant

Does anyone have any tips or advice they could share of how i could bond with my baby while i'm carrying or how to 'feel pregnant'. I'm really scared that i won't bomd with baby when she's here and how to stop feeling in denial about it.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?
R x

Just thought I'd reply as I'm due around the same time. I hope you're doing ok - I feel the same about bonding, can't talk to it, don't have anything sorted yet (not a single babygro has been bought!) so I don't really feel like it's happening. It was ok until after midnight on New Years Eve because then it dawned on me I'm having a baby THIS YEAR! When it was 'next year' it was far away and didn't worry me.

I'm sure once you see your baby you'll wonder what you were ever worried about! I'm hoping for a girl so congratulations :)

Thank you for your kind words!! I'm assuming & hoping thats the case for me! I was 23 when i fell pregnant & im still going to be 23 when shes born. When i say it like that its strange... Looking at her little jeans & vests are like looking at my own - no emotion. I'm sure it will be fine espec the few weeks leading up to the due date!
Aww i hope you get your beautiful healthy girl!

I felt this way when I was pregnant with my first. Really didn't feel any bond despite him being very much wanted. I had a 3d scan and u get a better idea of what they 'look' like, and that helped me. Just want to add I'm also a single mum to 2ds's age 6 and 4. Got divorced when ds2 was 1, but exh was never around. Its hard work on your own but very rewarding. I'm sure you'll be fine. You already sound like you love ur baby very much and it never seems 'real' till they are here, especially your first. I'm glad you have your parents there for you.

Don't worry - it will more than likely happen when she's put in your arms :) I really wanted a baby, but couldn't picture myself as a mum and while I got attached to the bump, I just couldn't see how I would bond. But as soon as my baby boy arrived I couldn't picture myself without him!

Congratulations and good luck!
xxx

Congratulations on your pregnancy Trucker!

Don't worry about not bonding with the bump, it will come! I had a horrid high risk pregnancy with DS2 and did not even really acknowledge I was pregnant till I had him! Didn't want to talk about it, hadn't bought any baby stuff so the poor child had to sleep in bed with me as he didn't have a cot!

I think in some strange way I was trying to protect myself incase anything went wrong?!

I loved him from the first moment I saw him.

You will feel the same way when you meet your little girl.

Thankyou purplerain!!

unfortunately broken families are getting more common these days - i was amazed how many people look down there nose at me including the phlebotomist at the hospital, but its not always a bad thing - baby gets my full attention!! And there are a lot of people in the same situation which its nice to have someone to talk to or relate to. I'm glad i'm not the only one it sounds fairly normal. I hope the next 19weeks fly by!

Mustafacake that must've been hard! I can relate to that. I think maybe i'm not bonding as well because i'm terrified something will go wrong. As a single mum i love my little angel more than anything already but if god forbid i lost her its not like I'm with my ex we can just make another... Shes one of a kind and my only opportunity at present. I hope your little one is well now!

I am also due same time as you... I never bonded with my bump last pregnancy or this one. Still haven't bought my son a single item of clothing, he is 20 months. Now he is here it would be nice to but he has a very generous family. Before he was born I only bought essentials... Car seat, pram, cot. Got everything else afterwards, actually got a total telling off from midwife for not having a changing mat.

Once he actually arrived I bonded instantly, didn't want to let him out of my arms/sight. Still don't if I am honest.

Although not a single parent I am alone with him a lot as my hubby is away fro home with work alot and does 70% of weekends. It's great you are living with people and have support, you probably have more than me and I live with my hubby!

Don't worry about not bonding, it will just happen when it's right