Planning for childcare when in labour

[philbee]

Hi all. I'm 26 wks pg and starting to think about what to do when I go into labour. DD is 4yo. We have no car so will need to get a cab to the hospital. Parents and inlaws are about an hour's drive away, DH's sister is closer but also has no car (rides bike like a demon though!). My last labour was very slow, days of contractions and 14 hours of established labour in hospital.

What would you do about arrangements? I was thinking we would call parents or inlaws once it started and ask them to come and collect DD and bring her to their house to stay. But what if it's night time? Is that ok? Is this labour likely to be much quicker than last? We could ask SIL who could be here quicker but works full time so can't look after DD in the daytime unless on hols. Argh!

I knew with mine.... I had a show and then few hours later waters broke and went into labour, so when I had a show with my second, I rang my in-laws - they are also an hour away, then spent the next couple of hours at home and waters broke, they took dd to theirs and everything went on from there....

I don't think it will be a problem - even at night time... as it gets closer to your due date, I'm guessing they will be on "full alert" anyhow if they are anything like ours!! If it comes to it, you can always take dd with you and get parents/inlaws to pick up from the hospital if need be, so don't worry... a lot easier to go with the flow second time around..

My MW said that it's not uncommon for mums to bring their DCs to hospital for them to be picked up from there if they have to come in and there's noone able to get to their home in time

You can go in by yourself and your DH can follow

I personally wouldn't wake older DCs to ship them off to someone else's house in the middle of the night - they're about to have enough upheaval as it is!! So going without DH has always been an option until someone can come

having a Doula takes a lot of the pressure off

Thanks. It hadn't occurred to me we could take DD but that's true, of course, and DH can stay with her while I go in. That's a good back up plan if it seems to be going quicker.

I think she meant when mums had to come in on their own, like when DHs are a few hours away with work and noone else makes it to the house, I don't think she meant where the DH is available

Its a nightmare to arrange isn't it! My choices were to hope that my mil decided at the last minute that she would do it (was using it as a stick to beat us with and wouldn't give a definite yes or no) or not have my dh there during labour.

I got very panicky about what to do with ds, who had just turned 2.
I basically planned for different scenarios, something like daytime vs. nighttime, workday vs. weekend, calm & collected vs. urgent emergency.
Having covered all the bases really helped me to stay sane!

homebirth is a good solution too

I gave birth 1hr 30mins after my contractions began. One of my parents was staying with us luckily to look after DD. Made it to hospital with 5 mins to spare.

If I ever have another we will need someone 10 mins away!

BettyandDon - don't think that will happen for me - as I said, it was 3.5 days last time, so lots of warning. Tbh I'm more concerned about calling parents / inlaws during the night and then having them in the house but it not being time to go to hospital yet. That's why I think it might be better for them just to take DD regardless of the time.

ILoveSalad - homebirth isn't for us, sadly, as we had a fairly horrible mc at home last year where I had to go in by ambulance in the end and we just can't really face anything similar again. You're right, I could always go in without DH if necessary - I think that would be OK, although weird with a cab driver! Am really hoping it's not that fast though! Or that I go into labour in the daytime when DD's at school and we can just ask someone else to pick her up. My friend is adamant that everyone goes into labour at night with their second.

Think I will have to plan different scenarios. Luckily our parents are all over it - it's just the journey time!

I was 3.5 days last time too! I was pretty much in shock it happened so quick...

yeah I went in a taxi last time and do want to avoid that this time, it was a bit socially awkward (fine, but a bit weird)

if it's fast and not night time DH can drive you then drive DD home, then he can drive back to you once babysitters arrive, so you're going there in your own car at least?

We don't have a car, that's the problem really. So I'll be going in a cab no matter what, but would be better if DH was with me. I think if it's fast we'll just heave DD out of bed and take her along and ask parents to pick her up from hospital. If not so fast we'll ask them to come to the house and pick her up. She's pretty adaptable, I think she'll be OK with being woken and moved, and she knows all grandparents very well and has stayed at their houses on her own lots of times.

she might normally be fine with being woken and moved, but IMO its best to minimise that sort of disruption when introducing a new sibling and I would only consider doing that to DS if DH was away for the night and noone could get to the house in time (and he is very flexible, I just think its a time for at least some continuity for the older one!)

Snap!
I'm 26 weeks - 2nd pregnancy. My twins will be 2 when the new one drops & my only help lives 1.5 hours away.
Last labour took 15 hours but everyone's saying the 2nd tends to go much faster.
I'm hoping I can call my mum when things start happening but what if its a false start?
Re the night though... I don't think she'll mind being up & at my home with the twins.
It must be nice to know you're doing such an important job at the most exciting time.

I just really hope there's enough time to get things set before having to push!