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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Any advice for coping with newborn DC2?

11 replies

Pontouf · 05/01/2013 18:40

I am 27 weeks pregnant with DC2 and have a DS who will be 2.5 when the baby comes. I am excited about the new baby but keep thinking how different it will be to when I had DS. I won't be able to "sleep when the baby sleeps" for example because I'll have DS to look after! I am worried that I will get no down time at all and will find it incredibly hard.

I'm also worried about how DS will react to the new baby. I imagine there will be fits of jealousy. We have talked to him about the baby in mummy's tummy and have read books about having a new brother or sister. He seems to understand about me having a baby in my tummy but I'm not sure he realises that it's going to come out in a couple of months and then come home and live with us!

Just wondered if anyone had any practical advice on coping with a newborn and a toddler and how to deal with any jealousy after the birth? An starting to panic a bit now! Help??!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
3ForMe · 05/01/2013 18:46

Relax!
Take your time with everything, and as soon as you can, after a couple if months, try to get into a routine.

It's hard at first juggling the two. But after about four weeks you'll get used to it.

If anyone offers help, accept it.

But most of all relax (as bet you can)

lollipoppi · 05/01/2013 19:06

No helpful advise but watching with interest!
I'm due dc2 in 2 weeks and DS1 is 2.3, like your DS he understands there is a baby in my tummy but i defo don't think he understands that said baby will be living with us Smile

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 05/01/2013 19:07

Hiya, my ds was 2.9 when my dd was born, I'll be honest we had a few seriously naughty weeks - about 6 I think. It wasn't nasty jealousy, it was just a huge change, I was desperately trying to get bf going so was parked on the sofa for hours every day and he was bored. He would pee near/ on her stuff, scribble on the walls constantly and generally act up. I wondered where my lovely son had gone! but after 6 weeks it got better and they were ok after that. My friends didn't have the same experience as me so maybe that's just my son for you! Just saying expect some acting up, but know that it will pass.

It's a good idea to keep a store of "easy" snack foods in that you can just open and give to your toddler, cereal bars, cartons of juice, fruit, raisins, crackers etc.

In the early weeks it's an idea to have a box of small stuff like stocking fillers for when you're tired, stuck to the sofa and they're bored. Just things like a new book, puzzle, bubbles, a little helicopter toy, a wiggly balloon, whatever. You could even make them special gifts "from the baby" to help generate good feeling towards him/her. Just pull one out when you need to.

And try to enlist them as your special helper who has the special job of fetching the wipes, and praise/ reward for even the smallest good behaviour towards the baby.

Can he do any hours at pre-school or with a childminder? That time was precious to me, I used to set an alarm and dive into bed with baby.

Will post more but being dived on!!

Nivet · 05/01/2013 19:14

You will have the same age gap as us, DS is now 3.5 and DD is just one.

It is tricky and more than double the work but you adjust.

I used a wrap around sling loads for the first few months, it meant I could spend time with DS, dress him, shower him etc whilst keeping DD close. We did a lot of reading in the first months and had a pile of new books (on Mumsnet advice!) which DS could choose from. I read to him whilst feeding. I also badly abused Cbeebies for a while. DS has been very good and gets a lot of praise for being a good big brother.

InTheNightGarden · 05/01/2013 19:18

taking a seat...

I'm in the same position, my dd will only be 22months when her little brother arrives in 6 weeks!! + she's not walking, talking or anything else for that matter either...

bobby1989 · 05/01/2013 19:28

my son was the same age when my other son was born. he was really good about it. I panicked the whole pregnancy and in the end Didnt warn him there was a baby coming. I woke up in labour at 4am when my other half was at work went to the toilet and my baby just popped out at 4.10. this obviously woke my oldest up who thought it was amazing (as did I when my new one ended up been 10lbs 12oz) my oldest was only jealous when other people fussed the baby he want bothered about me been with the baby which was amazing. I told everyone to speak to the oldest first and ask him to show him HIS new baby. jealously only lasted a week at the most. as for sleeping I think when were pregnant we all forget how much new babies sleep. also don't be worried to ask for help. get people over in the day settle the new one for a sleep n go have a bath or nap while friend/family watches the oldest. you'll adjust once your feeling better. my oldest is almost 4 and baby is 18 months n they love each other so much. try not worry about things.......and also if your anything like me and wondering how you'll be able to love the new one as much as your oldest (I cried most nights about it) then don't worry u really will

coldcupoftea · 05/01/2013 19:36

Cbeebies.
Preschool.
Make or get DP to make lunch for you and DC1 the night before so all you have to do is grab it from the fridge. Simple but makes life a lot easier!

PickledInAPearTree · 05/01/2013 19:38

In the same boat op so ill watch with interest...

Pontouf · 05/01/2013 22:01

Blimey, thanks all, this has been really useful. .

James the naughtiness is what I'm anticipating. DS is generally a sweet well behaved child, but tends to find any big changes in his routine fairly stressful and that's when he'll play up (we often have trouble on holidays and he played up when he moved into his new room and big bed). I'm hoping he will settle into the change fairly quickly. He really enjoys helping out though - he helps me unload the dishwasher, but clothes away etc so hopefully I can use this to get him involved. I suspect making him as involved in looking after the baby as possible will help. The present this is a good idea, will start putting some bits together in advance.

Nivet I am planning to get a stretchy sling so I can carry DC2 about while I do stuff with DS, also for when we go for walks. I want to try to get out of the house as much as possible so I don't go nuts. DS loves being read to, has tons of books and we are big library users so can definitely do lots of reading while feeding - good tip!

We have decided to keep DS in nursery one full day a week while I'm in mat leave and my mum will be leaping out Wednesday and Thursday every other week so that will be a massive help. We don't have any family close by - Mum travels a 300 mile round trip to help out so the rest of the time will be me by myself.

Bobby the fact your DS was good about it is very encouraging, and the fact that your DCs are so close now - so lovely! Like the idea of making it HIS baby and making him as involved as poss. We have started talking about it as DS's baby a bit.

Cold like the idea of DH making us lunch before work. It will make him feel useful too, which will be good.

Lollipop, would love to know how you get on - good luck with DC2!

Thanks again all, very grateful for all and any more advice Smile

OP posts:
therewearethen · 05/01/2013 22:49

Can I sit down and take notes to please! I'm 37wks with DC2 and DD is 4, will be 5 a fortnight after my due date so I'm panicking about jealously etc but also getting her to school with a newborn in tow!

Numbthumbs · 05/01/2013 23:02

Me too, im 38wks and DD has just turned 18 months. Im desperately trying not to feel guilty about turning her life upside down and crossing my fingers that she is too young to get jealous.

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