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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Feeling so sad tonight :(

15 replies

wifey6 · 05/01/2013 17:52

I can't move from my bathroom floor for crying. I know this time should be so wonderful..& 80% of the time it is. I feel so blessed to be pregnant again but I feel sad & guilty for my lost baby. When we suffered a MMC in April..it was the hardest of my life...& falling pregnant 6+ months after was not only wonderful..but also scary. All is going well..perfect scans..& currently 14+ weeks.
But tonight..like a few others recently..I sit & get so upset for my baby who also should be here.
I must sound crazy & daft.

OP posts:
TinkyPeet · 05/01/2013 17:56

You don't sound crazy, and I'm sort I have no advice. Just offering a hand to hold xxxx

TinkyPeet · 05/01/2013 17:56

Sorry * not sort

Dillydollydaydream · 05/01/2013 18:02

Sorry to hear about your mmc. I miscarried in April but am currently 19weeks pregnant. I had a little cry today for the lost baby but felt silly as I'm currently pregnant. It's a strange mix of emotions, happy to be pregnant again but still sad for the one that was lost.
If you need a cry just go with it, the hormones probably don't help :)

june2013 · 05/01/2013 18:02

Hi there - you don't sound crazy at all, no need for that. I haven't been through what you have (so apologies for anything that sounds off!) but a very close friend of mine did very recently. It touched me so much that I cried for her when I went to my 12 week scan and saw the (healthy) heart beat of my baby. I was so unbelievably grateful that my pregnancy was going well while also totally heartbroken for what had happened to her, the scan just made her experience all the more real for me. I left the hospital thinking of her. I emailed her as soon as I got home to send her more love, etc. I cannot imagine what it is like to go through this.

You are allowed to be sad and to grieve for as long as you need to. There's no time limit or textbook way to cope. We do the best we can, we just do. And for today, just for today, being sad, crying is the best you can do.

I often find weekends harder when I'm down. Saturday nights are supposed to be fun, I always tell myself, and not only do I not have good plans, I am miserable as hell. But in the end, I find that letting myself go helps me feel a little better later or the next day.

If I was to give advice - please feel free to ignore - is take care of yourself, don't push yourself, be gentle with yourself. When you are ready to stand up, do something that makes you feel better: tea, a feel good film (I have some suggestions if you need some), spending time with a partner (you don't mention a partner, did you go through this with someone who can understand?), a comfort food dinner, a long phone chat with a supportive / understanding friend or family member.

Take care & I'll be thinking of you lots tonight x

wifey6 · 05/01/2013 18:09

Thank you Tinky..
Dilly..sorry to hear of your loss too.
How lovely you are pregnant again.
June..thank you for such kind, comforting words. So sorry to hear of your friends loss.
My DH has made me a nice meal & is very supportive. I think I will calm myself down & have a very early night.

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allchik · 05/01/2013 18:29

:(
I think the love u have for ur baby almost strengthens the love u still hold for the one u lost...u feel each milestone as u couldnt with t other perhaps...
I had a mmc in Feb at 13wks...worst time of my life...still think of the baby now,sometimes still have a cry and Im pregnant again (due tomorrow!) still think of this baby as my 2nd in a way...as for 13wks the baby was a very much loved member of our family.
Xxx congratulations on ur pregnancy

wifey6 · 05/01/2013 18:33

allchik...that's exactly how it feels..you've said it perfectly. Regardless of gestation at time of loss (we were 12 weeks) a baby becomes part of your family immediately (in my opinion) & then to be without them..is devastating.
I'm sorry for your loss. How lovely you are pregnant again.

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Thinkingof4 · 05/01/2013 18:36

Hi wifey
You never forget a baby that you have lost but it does get easier with time. I always think of the baby that would have been but I am greatly comforted by the knowledge that I wouldn't have ds2 without losing the baby I did, as I fell pg a few months after my MMC.
I'm sure you will get a sense of that when this little one arrives in July

wifey6 · 05/01/2013 18:40

Yes thinking...that's true. I do feel very blessed to be pregnant with our healthy baby. It truly feels like it was a gift from our lost baby. (Again..another daft & crazy statement).

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MrsHelsBels74 · 05/01/2013 19:22

I was 5 months pregnant when what should have been my due date with the baby I miscarried came up. I sobbed, a lot around that time. I still think about what I lost, and am totally convinced it would have been a girl (I have 2 boys). It's natural to think about it. Please try not to let it overshadow this pregnancy though (easier said than done I know).

MrsHelsBels74 · 05/01/2013 19:23

Just clocked your name, I remember your thread from when you miscarried. So pleased you are pregnant again & hope all goes well.

Chottie · 05/01/2013 19:24

Just to hold your hand and wish you well. I miscarried, but went on to have a healthy full term baby. :)

Mawgatron · 05/01/2013 19:27

so sorry to read this post. I havent experienced what you are going through, but I would be completely traumatised if I had been.
WIll keep my fingers crossed, sending good vibes through the web to you.

And dont worry about crying - at least you have a valid reason to - I was crying at the end of toy story three today!

wifey6 · 05/01/2013 19:39

Is overwhelmed by everyone's kindness. It truly means so much. Thanks
Have managed to eat & now snuggled up in bed as so tired now.
I do feel so blessed to be pregnant again. It helps so much to share this with people who either understand or who won't judge me. I thank you x Thanks

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allchik · 05/01/2013 20:26

I think to think of this baby as a gift from the other is lovely,my hubby thinks like that also x x
rest up,remember the past but also look forward to the future...I found (am still finding) pregnancy after mmc emotional and fucking scary!!! But just imagine that moment when u hold ur baby in ur arms...all the best x

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