Feeling movements in second pregnancy

[katesav87]

Hi all, just wanted to talk to someone feel pretty lonely! Am 19 weeks with dc2 and feel so anxious today. Been feeling flutters for weeks now but they've never got stronger! Sometimes I get days were I don't feel baby at all. I've been so stressed out with worry this pregnancy and this is making me worse. At my 16 week midwife appointment the midwife seemed to think I should be feeling real kicks by Christmas and that has passed and I still don't feel much. I know it's early days but its worrying me so much! I tried to call the midwife this morning and firstly mentioned I was getting really bad pain in my back and legs but all she seemed to say is see the gp and so this got me really upset and I had to get off the phone as knew if start crying. I feel so alone. I can't talk to n e one cos I feel like I'm constanely moaning. And I know I'm proberley being silly I just really thought with my second I'd feel more by now. I have got a Doppler so sometimes I listen in and there's a heartbeat but I'm wondering if I have an anterior placenta as I can hear the whoosh of the placement right at the front. I really hope I don't as I'm going to be a bag of nerves my whole pregnancy. I'm just fed up of worring all the time I never felt like this with dd1!

Hi

I had an anterior placenta with DC2 and didn't feel any movements until I was 19 or 20 weeks. I was worried but DS is now 23 months and a right bruiser!

I definitely felt his movements once I was further into the pg

I'm not sure if I have one have my 20 week scan next Friday so will ask then but just worried now. Really thought they would be stronger by now but maybe it's just me and my horrendous anxiety!! I'm terrible at worrying about silly things

Kate you are exactly the same stage as me, 19wks wed, second dc but had 2 mc after dd, I felt a couple of things at 16wks then it would go for 4 days then a few more, only just 3 days before 19wks can I say I definatly feel bubs every day and it's very gentle, dh can't feel - there is alot of emphasis but on feeling more on second baby but really why? Only because you know what it feels like so it sounds to me you are spot on and mine apart from the odd flutters I missed first time is exactly the same as first pregnancy, it's hard not to worry after mc but you have the reasurance of the hb so try not to worry, baby's move around alot at this stage and are still small, another week and you'll get that 20wk scan and every day from this point baby will be bigger and movements more obvious! I'm scared out of my mind for 20wk scan ( didn't cross my mind first time once I was past 12wks) but keep trying to tell myself that worrying wont change the outcome and chances are all Is fine in there, don't think mw or doctors will do any different then listen for hb like you can and if they hear it they will say see all is fine

P.s my placenta is at the back so not masking anything, you are just feeling the same as everyone I promise, alot of my friends hadn't even felt baby at this stage

Thanks kitty I should be reassured by the heartbeat it annoys me I can't be more relaxed. I had a mmc before dd1 then to mc after dd1 so the same as u. Just feel like I wake up every morning hoping today's the day I will feel baby really move and it never happens. I think I concentrate to hard on my bump that when I do think I feel movement I can't quite believe its moving its been 5 years since I had dd1 so I feel like a first time pregnancy again!! I suffer from anxiety n e way so I was doomed from the start :-) x

I had an anterior placenta with my first and didnt feel flutters etc until about 21 weeks ish and never got that distinctive movement other people did. I could always hear the whooshing sound of placenta on my doppler really clearly. I'm on second pregnancy now and can hardly hear my placenta so in guessing its not anterior (alterior?!) and can already fe movement at 14 weeks ish. So I think you could be right from my very unscientific basis :) don't fret tho, I'm sure all is perfectly fine :)

Thanks neiffer maybe I do then it's so clear I showed the sound to my mum and u could easily mistake it for the heartbeat as she did but then I can find the definate heart beat and it sounds a little different. The sound is all over my belly button area so it's in to many places to be the placenta that's y I'm guessing it is it! I think I do feel some slight movement but nothing like other ppl describe at this stage. Just don't know how I'm gonna last untill next Friday lol

katesav87 don't panic - I'm 22 weeks now and it's only in the last few days I've been getting stronger flutters. Don't over analyse it - you'll drive yourself crazy! Everyone is different

by the way that's 22 weeks pg with DD2, didn't feel movement with DD1 till about 24 weeks. I'm fairly slim with strong tummy muscles but my midwife assured me there is nothing to worry about!

Thank u! That's my problem I over think things I know that and have been so good up until today I don't know y just having a bad day!! Thanks for all ur help. I'm going to get an early night and hope I'm in a better mood tomorrow lol x

It's a really hard time between 12-20 weeks, feels like a lifetime before you see a baby again. It all gets way better after that when they're properly moving and hurting you! Good luck at your scan, hope you can relax a bit soon :)

It defo is a long time!! Don't get me wrong if has gone quick if I think about it but I just want it to be next Friday now xxx

Hi again Katesav,
Orange here at 19+1. I have some days when I feel baby kick (flutters) and some days I feel nothing. I had a really scary new years day as I had a large glass of champagne on new years eve and then didn't feel little one for over 24 hours. My paranoia was terrible thinking I had done the baby some damage (silly I know!!).
You have to hang on to the fact that you can carry to term, even though it was 5 years ago. I know I can't dwell on my past MC a these aren't relevant now we are this far gone medically, just in our heads.
You can hear the heartbeat so that's great but I would even stop using the Doppler for a while as this is actually probably making your nerve worse. If you start to feel anxious - think why? What is it I fear? If its the baby dying then your chances of this are less than 1% at this stage. your fears are irrational but worrying about our children is just part of being a parent. Try to view the pregnancy in the same way. You are bound to be anxious, you love and want this child. Don't beat yourself up about the anxiety because it's normal and this just makes you feel worse. Accept the anxiety as paradoxically I find this helps me.
Sending you an unMN hug.... Hang in there, we are half way though an have soooo much more worry to come!!! ;-)
Ox

Thanks orange ur very right in everything u say! I have no idea were all this anxiety has come from! It's very annoying but I really need to just sit back and enjoy this and be happy. Hope u r doing well xx

You know where the anxiety has come from. It's the feat of the worst, fear of feeling that loss again. Anxiety comes from worry about the future. Why do we worry about the future?, because it's unpredictable and uncontrollable.... It's normal to feel anxious, if we didn't feel it alittle bit we wouldn't have survived as species because it's protective. You feel anxious because you want this baby, you love this baby and you are frightened of feeling that terrible pain of loss again. Accept that this makes you care and will ultimately make you a good mum. Try not to let it control you though and stop you enjoying this pregnancy. You deserve this baby, as do I after all our heartache of the past. Think you cannot control what will be so if you can't control it, you can't worry about doing something to change it. Keep focused on your DD and what your amazing body is capable of growing again as it has done before....
Ox